He keeps drinking so much he is not able to perform in bed even the next day because he is probably still legally drunk. .
I told him I could not take it anymore that it was a waste of my time to be romanced by someone who is impotent because of alcohlism. I feel bad because he is really a sweet person. He has been very good to me, but needs help.
Why is he doing this?
2007-02-09 14:44:59 · 9 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He actually stopped drinking for about 3 yrs then his adult daughter and her entire family moved in with him and drank in his home, so he decided to join in. No family support for him. I fell like if his family does not support his sobriety, I do not have a leg to stand on.
2007-02-09 14:56:44 · update #1
He's doing this because he's an alcoholic and needs help, but will only get help when he's ready and willing and has hit his rock bottom. I assure you, he knows he has a problem and is ridden with guilt since he started to drink again after three years of sobriety. Does his family realize the extent of his alcoholism? If not, try to talk to them about it. I've attached some literature on alcoholism and it's effects on family and friends. Also, some literature for you about Al-Anon. You are not married, so after you've done everything you can and still to no avail.....you can leave. Tough love is many times the last resort in these situations. My tough love was kicking my husband out at probably the worst time of his life, but his family wouldn't listen to me, he wouldn't listen to me.....I was the bad one. After you've done everything possible, it's hard to sit and watch the one you love destroy himself. I had to think of myself. You need to think of yourself too hun. I was the same way you are about the romance. You have not scarred his manhood..... who wants to kiss and be kissed by someone who smells of alcohol and can't perform? I cringed every time, then started making him sleep out on the couch. But please know....it's not because of you. There is hope sweetie, there is help out there. After a 3 year separation from my husband, we are now in the process of reconciling. He has been sober for 1 year now, but I always know that there's a chance he could start up again........we both live one day at a time and enjoy each day that he is sober. Good luck to you hun. Take care.
2007-02-09 15:21:26 · answer #1 · answered by ksgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could so many reasons a person becomes an alcoholic. U had every right to put him in his place and stand up for yourself. If there is a relationship worth trying to save - do you research and gather the help you need in order to fight what WILL BE the very difficult struggle ahead of you. If u r just a friend, then the same, but keep yourself on a very long string - bethere for support and thats it. If this person is just an aquaintance, then just be a good human and figure out who will get this man the help he needs, then after you are sure he's gotten it, walk away knowing that you are a gem among stones in a world that needs rubies!
2007-02-09 14:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by martiek7 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He does this because he is likely an alcoholic and simply cannot break the habit. Alcoholics often WANT to change, but don't have the willpower to be able to do so. Many will try their best to stop, but simply can't. Then they blame themselves and feel worse, and they console themselves by drinking more. It's a vicious cycle. As for scarring his manhood, girl, you can't scar a guy's manhood because you tell him you don't like that he can't perform. He is scarring his own manhood by his drinking. Please contact Al-Anon (Google it for a chapter near you). They have support groups for people who have a friend or loved one who is addicted to alcohol, and they can offer advice. If you can get him to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting as well, then that would be very good.
2007-02-09 14:51:58 · answer #3 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholism brings out the worst in people...I understand you feel like you lashed out in anger, but I also understand why you were so frustrated. I agree with you that he needs help. If he doesn't get it, I don't think that the relationship will last. I think you need to really consider what is best for you. If he is not going to take care of himself, he won't be able to be there for you like you need him to be. Don't feel bad about what you did...however, insulting him is not going to help the situation...it will probably make it worse. Encourage him to get help.
2007-02-09 14:54:15 · answer #4 · answered by mzstorm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there may be an underlying reason to his drinking. you may need to get to the root of your problem... talk to him in such a way wherein he will think. ask more of how and what questions than the dreaded "why" and "yes-or-no" ones.
tell him it hurts you when you can't get him to be available for you whenever you needed it.
since you said he is a sweet person, he may not really want to hurt you intentionally. talking to him may awaken him from whatever he is trying to avoid.
drinking is sometimes an act of trying to forget whatever problem one has.
getting to the root of the problem can only solve this. unless he's really an alcoholic and loves drinking for no reason at all, then you can't ever change him.
2007-02-09 15:01:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust me, he'll find something else to stick his chubby into. Keep an eye on him if he's drunk...you'd hate to see him electrocute himself
2007-02-09 14:48:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
how old is this dude that makes a difference and it will only get worse i have been there we ended up breaking up for good
2007-02-09 14:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You said it,he needs help.
2007-02-09 14:49:08 · answer #8 · answered by luvmykids 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because drinking makes him happy
2007-02-09 14:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by bkbarile 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋