please help... I'm crying and I can't stop?

Question

For a few years I've been having a ton of trouble with my self esteem. I'm seeing a social worker, taking depression medecine, but I'm still not happy with myself. I even joined weight watchers. I just can't stand myself. I live so much to try and impress others that I can't enjoy my life. I can't eat unless others are eating. I just keep bringing myself down. I really want to be happy. I want to wake up... and be happy. I mean, although I'm 13 and going through rough stage, I've had no self esteem for about 3 years! And, I have no butt and I feel so worthless. I just hate life. I want to love living, I mean, I'm not suicidal, but its lik eating when you can't taste... it's kinda worthless... I feel like I'm only living for my family...
Please tell me I'm not too fat...
http://thissilentangel.myphotoalbum.com

Answer 1

Ask your parents to let you join the girl scout. You will find other girls like you and together you will build yourself esteems.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry to hear that life with you is not working out all that good. NO, YOU'RE DEFINATELY NOT FAT! I use to be in your shoes at your age about my self esteem, being depressed, thinking I was fat, ugly, even saw a physchiatrist and never thought I could be happy. But, I'm much better now than it was. I now look in the mirror and see someone who is beautiful and that's what you should do. If I can suggest DON'T try to impress others. It don't work out anyways.......just be yourself.....is their a song that would make you smile?......is their a movie that could make you laugh?.....is there a friend/friends you can hang with and hopefully around them there is some comfort or family.....I'm hoping right now that what I've said has helped you a little and if you could start little by little enjoying any one the things I've suggested. I'm hoping it will boost your self esteem even if it's a little is a start. Day by day and if there's one morning you wake and think oh that movie was funny or if someone made you smile anyone. Things are not as bad as you think. That's what I thought and learned that when I hung around with friends went to the mall. We had friends over and it took my mind off things. I would sometimes sit at home watch a movie that would make laugh or just even take me away from this depression I was in and little by little and I didn't realize it. I was a little bit starting to feel better about me and family everything.

Answer 3

Honey, you're not fat at all! In fact you are pretty damn thin. It is so hard being a teenager especially today when you have to watch disgusting anorexic bitches be idolized on MTV. I was very depressed when I was a teenager too. You really just have to forgive yourself for whatever it is you are upset at yourself with and love yourself. Give yourself a big hug and hold yourself until you feel the self-hate melt away. You are your worst enemy right now and I know how you feel because I have been there before. If you want to change your body, first of all, starving yourself is probably the worst thing to do. When you don't eat it slows down your metabolism so that when you finally do eat your body stores it all. Plus with your metabolism slow your body won't burn the food off as fast as it should. Starving yourself will make your body gain more weight in the long run. A healthy way to trim down (not that you even need it) is going on a diet plan like the south beach diet. It teaches you healthy carbs and fats to eat and it works great. You are able to eat normal and never feel hungry yet you lose weight at the same time and you feel better because you have more energy and your body is getting enough of what it needs. I am going to school for psychology and I am doing a research experiment on exercise and diet and how it is linked with depression. Not getting the right nutrients in your diet lead to feelings of depression. Try eating the right things that will make you feel great and lean and do some active things too. I don't know if you are in sports at school but finding something active that you are passionate about is key. Maybe dance, yoga, pilates, gymnastics, snowboarding or even just mall walking. Just make sure you are doing something for 20 minutes every day that increases your heartrate. That will also increase your metabilism. Eating every three hours is also the way to go. If you eat 6 small meals (one every three hours) you will get really thin because you are keeping your metabolism up. Please stop starving yourself and develop some healthy eating habits now when you are young. You will thank yourself when you are 20 and super thin and fit. Making these changes will also alleviate your depression. If you are on anti-depressants I suggest replacing them with the natural dietary supplement St. John's Wort. You can get it anywhere and it doesn't give you that numb feeling anti-depressants give you. Good luck babe and I wish you the best. Try to have fun because this is the only time in your life when you can truly be carefree and just go to school and have fun. When you are an adult you will wish you had so few responsibilities. Also, when you get out of high school you will realize how full of crap it is. I ran into the most popular girl from my high school the other day and she was really fat, like 200lb plus and hadn't even gone to college. I felt like such a better person and realized that just because something is the popular norm in highschool doesn't mean it will be worth anything in the real world.

Answer 4

I'm glad that you are getting help with your depression, that was a step in the right direction. I just want to let you know to not be so hard on yourself, life isn't just about your physical body. I know the media and society has projected that we all must be toothpicks to be desirable, but it isn't true. So, maybe you should focus on the good things about yourself. Sit in front of the mirror and tell yourself only good things. For every bad thought you have, think of three good ones. It takes work to build your self-esteem up, but once you get it back, you won't let nothing or no one take it away again. You will be stronger and more self confident. It's not all about looks and weight, there is so much more to us the shell we live in. We have our minds, hearts and souls, which are far more important than a having a butt, or not weighing what society thinks we should weigh. When you are older, you will glad you don't have butt, cuz then it won't be sagging on you : ) You have to remember that you are a unique, special person, there is no one like you on earth. You deserve to love, to be loved, and to live a happy life just like everyone else. Keep your chin up...and stay strong...things will get better for you.

Answer 5

Seriously, I can relate to what you are feeling. Life is a constant downer and everything makes you feel sick to your stomach. The only difference is what i am going through, i dont make a huge deal out of. NO matter how hard you try to satisfye others, you'll always feel worse because you are not satisfying yourself. The trick is, not to care what others think, since i've started doing that, I feel 100 percent better. Not in a corny, sunshiny mood all the time, but im at the point where i can completely tolerate myself and appreciate life. FInd a path to take with your life, for me, I've found a passion for music, listening playing and writing. I know what it's like to be 13 because i am right now. I think people apprecite the real me rather than the fake me anyday.

P.S. You're not fat at all

Answer 6

Wow, you sound very mature for a 13 year old and I applaud you for not being over dramatic and contemplating suicide. I love how you seriously want to be happy in life and you are already making great steps to that goal. Maybe a therapist would help? It sounds like what you are suffering is deeper than mere teenage depression. Is there something happening with your family, friends, or school? You may also try helping out at an animal shelter or with less fortunate children. How can you hate yourself if you are spreading around good? I truly hope that you get better and wish you the best of luck.

Answer 7

Dear Silent Angel,
You are an adorable young woman, and looking at you photos, I saw no physicals flaws! Teen years are tough ones--I know--I was there once too. But people will always see the beautiful & good inner side of you. Your kindness towards others, the way you make them smile. That is the most important value anyone can have--the way you glow from the inside. None of us are perfect--God didn't make us that way. And the more time we use looking for flaws, the more apt we are to find hem. And yes, they are there--ones that we see on the outside (which others usually don't see). But people will love you for your self, not your clothes or makeup or jewelry. A good thing is to get involved in doing some volunteer work, at a hospital, nursing home, or homeless shelter (find a friend to do it with). You will be surprised to find how great it feels to help others, knowing that you did something to have an impact on someone else's life. Good luck to you! :)

Answer 8

It is sad that you let peer pressure kill you and drag you down.

Quit paying attention to yourself, and realize you are lucky compared to many other people in the world with a lot of worse problems.

Food is delicious, good, and yummy... EAT!

You are too yound to be worrying about all those things. It seems that you are letting someone tell you who you are or who you should be, or letting magazines give yourself the impression you aren't good enough.

Hint: All that is too pathetic. If you are happy with yourself, other people will be drawed to you too.

How about this. Go outside, look at everything; that is the world, that is the Beauty of Life. That is what you should be worried about, the way we are ruining and hurting the environment, the beautiful animals, the beauty trees, the clean water; everything wonderful about the world is being killed. And here you are, so self-directed you cannot pay attention to everything else wonderful about the NOW.

Answer 9

Hun your not fat. Be yourself. I used to be a ***** in high school and now i regret it. Be nice to everyone no matter what and you will be remembered that way 20 years from now. I no this stage is hard with all the cliques and stuff but try to find the good in yourself. Like stuff you can do or play that others cant. Hang out with people who you dont fell competition with. Im sure your not fat. Shake it off girl and keep your head up you can get through this. Find true friends that can help you along the way! Goodluck.
Ariel

Answer 10

Sweet heart... you're just fine the way you are. I don't know why I'm compelled to tell you this. It may have nothing to do with the way you are feeling but... I use to be the kind of kid/teenager who thought that if I felt differently about a topic or liked different music than the other kids that they would make fun of me. I tried to impress them by acting like I knew what they were talking about. They could see right through me. That is the reason most of them didn't respect me. I liked them so much that I tried to be like them and wanted to please them. Well... I wasn't pleasing anyone... especially myself. And I realized later in life that people like individuals who are confident and respect themselves. It was hard for me to adjust but when I did I was like a new person. I realized that my differences from other people is what made other people like me and want to be around me. I could have gone on feeling sorry for myself. (I did a lot of that for a while.) But ... thank God I learned a new way of living. I learned to respect my thoughts, feelings and desires. I hope you learn how to do that more quickly than I did! Also... always think of people as 50/50. Half of the people in this world will like you and half won't. But that's ok because you will like half of them and dislike the other half too. Being a good person doesn't mean that everyone will or should like you. That's just flat out not going to happen. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then ... just stay away from them. Chances are that you wouldn't or don't like them anyway. It's just the way life works. What I'm trying to say is that you are great just the way you are. You need to change nothing about yourself except your ability to love yourself. Once you start (even just a little bit) it becomes addictive and you'll be moving on to a much happier satisfying life. Good luck and God bless!

One more thing... SING!!! Sing and dance! :) Sounds silly but it's impossible to feel depressed while you are dancing. I hid in my room and did it... still do and I'm much older. :) Sometimes you have to force yourself to start but it is very rewarding and will put you in a much better mood!

Answer 11

You remind me of me actually.. and you look like me. Don't worry, things will be brought up higher. Keep your head up, don't mind what others think, and forgive everything you do. It's better to be arrogant and confident that unhappy.
You can contact me by aim if you want, I've lived through a long process in life, where I've been to an emotional asylum for it. I would like to talk to you for a bit, just to listen if you ever need to talk to someone. I've healed since then, I was 13.
Remember that no one is judging you. Only you are judging yourself. And the confident that you portray is the display that others believe.
I think you're quite pretty and cute, but that's just me.
And you're not trying to advertise yourself, that's just a stupid guy talking. You're asking a rational and valid question.