How many of you were emotionally/physically abused as a child?

Question

How has it affected your life, and what have you done to overcome it?

I asked this question because I was abused, but it's been hard for me to accept that reality. It given me an overall feeling of never deserving anything good and never being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I work hard every day to put it behind me. What's really sad is that it affected my children.
They're very loving toward me, after years of our working on our relationships, but I'd give anything to have been a better mother.

Answer 1

I'm glad that now the resources are there that people can go get help for abuse before the damage is entrenched and passed on to the next generation. I'm hopeful that in a couple more generations, abuse will be much less common.

For me, I was sexually abused by my grandfather and two brothers. I thought I was pregnant by my own brother when I was 13. The molesting started when I was 4 (or so) and continued until I was about 16 and could assert myself. Because the abuse made me feel that I was a bad person, I was unable to assert myself at school, and I was bullied mercilessly by others (unlucky to go to a school that had absolutely NO teachers on the playground. How negligent is that?).

What happened to me is that I developed bipolar disorder as a result of these experiences. Now, bipolar is highly genetic, but the severity of it does depend on how you were treated when you were young. I have bipolar as bad as it gets, and I am fighting suicide on a daily basis, most of the time, now.

I was a merit scholar in high school (means you get good grades & score high on the SAT test & do extracurriculars) but I took 7 years to finish college because I was so very depressed. I didn't think it was depression though, didn't know. There was no Internet then. Then I went to graduate school at a top university for physics, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I think the bipolar just go so much worse because I took antidepressants, the doc not recognizing that I was bipolar and should have been on lithium. So I tried working at an easier job, failed at that. Then I tried working as a math tutor on AOL. Failed. Tried working part time at Kmart. Failed. So now I'm on disability and I really feel like a loser. I didn't have any kids, either, which just kills me, but I was never stable enough and I might have lost them.

On the plus side, i now live in a beautiful rural area, in a quaint 1917 farm house with a husband who loves me, 4 wonderful cats & I can garden and oil paint and read novels when I want to (and I'm not too depressed, which happens a lot). I'm helping coordinate a support group for others with serious and persistent mental illness, so I feel a bit less like a parasite on society.

To overcome the abuse and the mental illness, I went to a lot of counseling. I may need that support permanently. I went to support groups on and off. Read some books. I came up with a lot of things to help myself - some of these things turn out to be in mary copeland's WRAP plan (coping with mental illness crisis). I moved to a very low stress area-it's very rural here (and also hard to get to the psychiatrist, unfortunately). I get to look at deer every day if I want to and there is nobody for more than 1/2 mile. I now go to the mental illness social group I'm working on. I take meds for the bipolar. I use a light box. I'm really lucky to be a smart cookie, too - that probably helps more than anything else, because I keep thinking of things to try & make myself better. But to be honest, I have never overcome the abuse or the mental illness. I have made my situation tolerable enough that most likely I won't suicide, but it isn't a sure thing. I still suffer so much I see it more as euthanasia than anything else, because the doctors and counselors & my social worker can't help me anymore than they are now. So I hang on, hoping a new pill will come along.

Answer 2

My mom was abused and it affected me as well. She never hit me or really punished me but she had no parenting skills at all and was real distant all the time. This was a very hard thing to deal with and still effects me and I am 34. However as an adult I do realize how hard it is to have kids and not have skill so I see she really did do the best she could with what she had. Try not to beat yourself up because you just didnt have the skills. It is ok. Your kids will still love you no matter what, thats what kids are for remember that.

Answer 3

Almost everybody has been abused emotionally as a child, disfunctional families are the majority now. My dad is a drunk. He used to abuse my mom, me, and my 2 sisters a lot. Now, he doesn't as much because we are getting older and he has a lot less power. For me, It was hard to deal with, I kept myself socially secluded and still do today. Overcoming it? Hmm, just forget about it and READ THE BIBLE. Yea, thats helped me a lot through life.

Answer 4

yeah, my dad was abusive both ways, my mother had multiple personality disorder, it left me with some serious post-traumatic stress and anxiety problems, (ex, hiding in the closet when the phone rings, etc.) but a few years of therapy and anti-anxiety/depression meds have me pretty normal now... I have managed to develop a relationship with my dad, who also sought counseling, and maintain a fake relationship with my mother, though I'd never trust her an inch...
I think the biggest thing that saved me was my husband, though, he stood by me through everything, made me feel worthy...

Answer 5

All these answers to this question just breaks my heart. It really angers me to hear about an adult being mean to a defenseless child.. I came from a very loving home but a few of my friends went through torture when they were young..
Being a Christian it is very hard for me to forgive these kinds of people.. I also help children who have been through this disasterous and hideous situation... May God Bless each of you on here and through lots of prayer, God will help you...

Answer 6

my uncle molested me several times, untill he finally raped me..he would hit me and call me a stupid ***** too. so i guess i was abused both ways. have you ever been?

but ive been really epresses for tursting him so much and having so much faith in someone who hurt me so much. i cut before and over excersized, adn stoped eatign and a lot of stuff, btu with the help of a good friend im a lot better noe, and even though ill never quite get over this, i know that i can still live my life.

why did you ask this question anyways?

Answer 7

I was sexually abbused and raped.

I've been drepressed since it happened. I find it really hard to trust people now. I use to take my pain and hurting out on myself.

I went to counselling but that was a waste of time. My best friend helped me. He showed me that not all guys hurt girls and that I didn't deserve to be treated like that and he helped me trust again.

Answer 8

Emotionally abused so I'm not sweetness and light, the happy little smiley girl that society wants and I get labeled a "b*tch" a lot but I don't really care.

Answer 9

I was emotionally abused by my mom. She was chronically depressed, and often even neglectful, staying in bed all day leaving me and my sister to fend for ourselves during the day at very young ages. She was also Pentecostal, so, everything other normal people in the world do is wrong. We could never please her. She even told my sister she was stupid for going to nursing school and it was a dumb job (first in the family to go to college.)
It took therapy for me to develop self esteem and self worth. Also, it's a battle of daily meditation and positive thinking to avoid the negative thinking process I socially inherited. Lastly, my sister and I minimize contact with our own mother to avoid feelings of stress and rejection to this day!

Answer 10

From my point of view, you have taken the first step, recognition. Now it is the time for decisions. You know what was done to you. You don't have to be like that.
My dad used to tell me he did not want me to be like him. I cannot find any better man to emulate.