A little girl was born. Her mother got divorced and got a restraining order on the dad based on his drug and alcohol use. The little girl never saw her dad after she turned one. The mother remarried. The little girl wouldn't listen. The mother would try and try and try to teach her daughter the simplest things, like saying thank you when trick or treating or not to run around during naptime in preschool. Her mother didn't know she was being molested by the babysitter on a regular basis. Then the little girl started behaving worse. She was described as a child that had lights on, but no one was home. She got kicked out of a christian preschool for having a potty mouth and being mean to the other kids. She even got into trouble for inappropriate things like undressing and exposing herself. Her mom's husband adopted her, but never really bonded or even tried to. He had his own kids with her. When she was 7 she got into a fight with her mom and screamed she wanted to die.
2007-02-09 14:09:11 · 5 answers · asked by Puppy Cat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Things progressed...fast forward to age 13 and the little girl started running away. She made some really bad decisions and started using a lot of drugs when she ran away. She ended up getting raped. When she sobered-up and came home she was hoping to have been missed and instead she was placed in an inpatient mental health facility. When she got out she ran away again. Then she was left to sleep in the backyard when she came back. Her mother wouldn't allow her in the house for over a week. She was afraid for her other children even though her daughter had never been any meaner to them than most older siblings are to younger ones. After about 8 or 9 days, the little girl was shipped off to her grandparents out of state, but she had so much anger inside her that she wasn't willing to start over. So, her grandparents shipped her back home where she spent another week and a half living out in the backyard because her mother refused to let her in. Finally the girl left and called CPS.
2007-02-09 14:10:14 · update #1
The mother was not charged with anything because she was in the process of filling out an incorrigible packet. After the girl was taken into state custody, she was taken to a doctor to be examined because she had over 100 various bug bites all over her from sleeping on the ground. The mother swears she did everything she could for her daughter and she just didn't have anymore options. So the girl spent the rest of her teens in group homes, where she ran away every chance she got. Now that this girl is an adult and a mother, she still tries to keep in contact with her family, but obviously the bonds aren't there and she is constantly left out of things like birthdays and family information. What do you think? Who is wrong? The daughter for being introverted and not communicating, and acting out and disobeying? Or the mother for trying to keep the rest of the family together?
2007-02-09 14:10:32 · update #2
Oh yes you most certainly CAN blame the mother. Assuming that the facts above are true (I have no choice but to assume that they are), there were numerous signs for the mother to see. It is clear to me that your mother failed you, time and time again. Regardless of what her intentions were, regardless of what she thought she was doing, she clearly did you harm.
I applaud you for attempting to maintain a relationship with these people now that you are an adult. I cannot say that I would be as forgiving. Bless you.
You cannot force them to include you. The best you can hope for is to set a good example for your child by being good to them in spite of their behavior, and by not making the mistakes that were made to you. We can only move forward...
2007-02-09 15:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your mom could have used some help along the way. I also think that a parent should always believe their child when the child states they were raped,and seek help for that child. I think in your family there is alot of dysfunction. I don't think you will get the emotional support you want so desperately from your biolgical mother. I hope someone will come into your life,and take over that spot normally held by a mom,not to replace her,but to guide you and help you become a beautiful young woman. I don't mean physical beauty,I mean inner beauty. You have that inner beauty now, I can see it. You want change,hope,acceptance.You want what every human being deserves...........a hug. Just some love, it seems so simple,but it's not. Yes, your mother made some mistakes,yes you made some mistakes. Will your mother change? I kind of doubt it after all these years. But, you can change the way things are,and the way you look at things.So take that step that is going to make you stronger,don't hold onto a wish,but do believe in your dreams. Good luck.
2007-02-09 14:31:23 · answer #2 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The mother should have done everything in her power to see to it her little girl had the help she needed. The "father" also let this little girl down by not trying. The things this little girl did were normal reactions of an abused child and she should have had extensive counseling. My answer would be, no one was right. The family failed her and the system failed her. I hope this young woman has finally found the help and support that she has needed all her life and is content and has found peace in her life with her new family. I wish her all the best and God Bless her.
2007-02-09 14:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by ksgirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is all so sad. You can't really blame the mother, she tried her best without knowing the real reason behind her daughters behavior. She probably felt she had failed one and didn't want to chance failing the other two. She made mistakes but out of ignorance not hatred. The daughter had a heck of a life and that is also so sad. If she had only told her mother but that is just hindsight now. She can try to talk to her mother now and tell her how she would like to fit in or just stay away. If she wants to join in she has to mean it and not lay a guilt trip on anyone, that won't help matters. She has to wipe the slat clean for her sake as well as the rest of the familys, including her own children.
2007-02-09 14:27:02 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, all I can say is, I hope this little girl was not you and if it was, I'm truly sorry that happened. I think the way the little girl acted was totally normal, given the circumstances and it sounds like the mother could have been a lot more compassionate.
2007-02-09 14:24:15 · answer #5 · answered by broadwayaprilandtiffany 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋