I HAVE a few FUNNY things you MAY wanna SEE!!! whats the funniest?

Question

1. Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
2. Man: "Haven't I seen you some place before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
3. Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
4. Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
5. Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
6. Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one a##hole in there."
7. Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
8. Man: "So what do you do for a living ?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
9. Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"
(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter."
(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)
10. Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."
11. Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop"
12. Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
13. Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah!!! Let's pick up some chicks!"
14. Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"
15. Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
16. Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
17. Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."
18. Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
19. Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
20. Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"
21. Man: "Your hair color is fabulous."
Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
22. Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
23. Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
24. Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

Answer 1

11. Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop"

and

13. Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah!!! Let's pick up some chicks!"


The worst part is my brother is standing behind me reading them also, and he said, "man I wish I was a woman, so I could say that"

....wow, just... wow

Either way, those were awesome, thanks for sharing dude!

Answer 2

i heard some like these:
guy:i bet i can make u very happy
girl: how, r u leaving?

guy: what would u say if i asked u 2 marry me?
girl: nothing...i cant talk and laugh at the same time

guy: hi! im a photographer and im looking 4 a face like urs!!!
girl: hi! im a plastic surgeon and im lookng 4 a face like urs!!!!!

i have a lot more...but i 4got...and most of them r already mentioned in there anyway...

P.S.20 and 23

Answer 3

personally I like 7

Answer 4

13 is my favorite, then 20, then 21, then 4, then 7

Answer 5

Lots of people who read this stuff r blond so my advice personally don't make i tlong. i have a short attention span. But the first were good and funny.

Answer 6

18 and 5 are hilarious

Answer 7

I like #6 and #13, but they're all pretty damn funny.

Answer 8

i think 7 is the best

Answer 9

Lol. I liked 13. But the rest are good too. Its just that that was the one i really laughed my heart out. Thanks!!

Answer 10

holy dang this is long i think the best would be # 18 lol