how can you get over a loved one's death?

Question

i'm 14 years old and my sister died on Nov 6,2005. Her b-day is Feb 17. i have been so depressed over her. Her mother kept her away from me when we were younger. She was 21 when she died. I have a stomach ulcer and the doctors think it's because of my sister. Can someone help me get over in a better way?

Answer 1

My Dear sweet soul... I lost my twin brother when we were 24. it is the hardest thing in the world to lose a loved one. for some strange reason a Jehovah's Wittiness came to my door and gave me a booklet called "When Someone You Love Dies" how they knew I am not t sure BUT boy did it help. OK I am now 42 and I still miss my brother. I hurt every time I think about the way he died a disease called Lupus... BUT then again I am OK with the fact he is NOT suffering nor is he in some sort of constant torture. I hope it helps I know it helped me.

Answer 2

God Bless you, Sweetie. What a difficult time for you. Remembering Her, as you are, is what you need to do. You will never "get over" an untimely death, so do not try to. That would not "be normal" to not wonder"WHY"? Missing her and loving her is what you can do, to get stronger, and taking care of your own health is what "She" would want. You are still so young, yet obviously mature enough to know, you cannot let this destroy your life. Ulcers are not nice at ANY Age, and I think you may be carrying a burden that you did not create. Love your Sister with all you have, celebrate her birthday alone, if you must. Light a candle and pray! She knows you love her. Then Take care of YOU! Eat well, Get rid of that ulcer, talk to your Doctor. Then everynight before bed, tell Her you love her and pray! She knows anyway, that we cannot control what our Parents do, when we have no control! If Her Mother kept her AWAY from you, She also kept YOU away from Her! Your Sister knows and understands. Buy her a carnation on Feb.17th, and keep it with you in a small vase in your room! Say Happy Birthday, anyway! Let No one take that from you. Each and every day that you remember Her and think of Her, you will grow stronger.As long as you take care of you. Go for walks, get fresh air every day and eat well, hon! See your Doctor again, if you can. Tell him you want a cure now, and help yourself get better. God bless you and take care. I am praying for you, too!

Answer 3

Sweetheart, I am so sorry you are in such pain. My son died by suicide in July 2005. Honey, you don't "get over" the lose of a loved one,but you can learn to live comfortably without her.
You need to talk about your sister as often as you can, talk about her death. Find friends that you feel safe with and talk with them. Maybe talk with the counselor at school. It's important to talk about your pain.Start a journal and write down your feelings. Write when your feeling sad and write when you've had a day where nothing has gone on. Writing helps. Try to spend time with friends you can feel yourself with. Friends you don't feel like you need to put on a phony smile for. So that you can just be yourself.
Take care of your feelings and allow yourself to grief. Check out some books at the library and read about grief. You're gonna be ok sweetie. Talk to your parents also.

Answer 4

I emphathize with your pain so much..sweetie. It's hard. I was nearly 16 yrs when my boyfriend of a couple years had died from malignant melanoma (skin cancer) he was only 18 yrs old. This happened back in 1988, almost 19 yrs ago now. I miss him so dearly even after all this time. I think of him off & on..especially on his birthday or anniversary of his death. I feel he's my guardian angel, and he's up there watching me. That may be silly, be it works for me. The best I can offer, is just time will heal. Never forget her and the good memories of her. She would want you to move forward and be happy in life.

Answer 5

Honey? I lost my sister, when I was 20. And as much as it pains me to tell you. That was over 25 Years ago. And I ain't made it yet. But there's comfort in knowing that you're gonna make her proud of you. By being the kind of Lady, that she would want you to be. Just keep thinking about the good times. And what would she want you to do, with the rest of your Life. God Love you, Little One. I wish you Peace.

Answer 6

There are many good books that deal with death and grief ... here is one link
http://death-and-dying.org/ for an Internet site

I would recommend seeing a counsellor to help you deal with this grief but you need to learn how to grieve for your sister without taking life from yourself. Death is inevitable and comes earlier for some of us ... have your own private farewell to your sister, say goodbye. let her go and celebrate her life not dwell on her death :D

good luck

Answer 7

Wake up every day. Go about your day, run errands. Allow yourself to be sad, but allow yourself to be happy also. Sometimes when we are depressed and are having fun, it feels so foreign and weird that it seems wrong, but it is just the healing process. Good luck.

Answer 8

Feel your reactions totally to relieve and release the pain you're holding inside that is causing physical problems.

Answer 9

Try praying- it really works! God will do anyhting as long as we have faith in him!
You can also go to a chruch and see the pastor- that's what they're there for!
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Answer 10

I would suggest that you go see the doctor and they will most likely put you on an anti-depressant. They will also refer you to a therapist like they did with me.