my son's mother doesn't want to accept the fact that i don't want to be with her, but i still want to have my son a round. If she leaves, she's going back to texas and we're in NC. right now, so I'll never get to see my son again because she won't leave him here with me. I am a full time student and i also have a job, and my parents, have already said that they would help me if i could keep him.
2007-02-09 13:15:56 · 12 answers · asked by spiffstar2001 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If your a real man, you'll move closer to your son, yes even to Texas. Or better yet, you should patch things up. You chose to make a baby with her, now it's time to grow up. Props for her for not leaving her son behind. Good parents NEVER leave their children.
2007-02-09 19:07:21 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get an attorney right away. Tell the attorney you don't necessarily want to take the child away from the mother but you do want to make sure she is told she cannot move out of the state with him. Before she could legally take him and move out of state she would then have to give a judge good enough reason why she had to leave or she would have to relinquish the child to you. As long as she can find work and you pay her child support, she should be able to stay where she is. However, you might want to consider what is best for everyone in the long run. If you don't want to make a family with her, she has the right to get on with her life and if her family is in Texas and she needs their support, it might be best to let her go. You could still have visitation. I know it wouldn't be convenient, but there are fathers who have long distance relationships with their children.
2007-02-09 22:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you weren't truly in love with her, you should not have been having sex with her. But you did, and most folks do unfortunately, and this is what happens. I am not being mean, because I did the same thing. I got pregnant, and he told me he never wanted to see me again. It was a hard lesson for me to learn, about giving it up to someone who was not in love with me. All that aside, she can not leave your son with you. It has nothing to do with whether or not you love him or would be a great father, but she did carry him in her body for a long time, and give birth to him. For her, letting go of him is not an option. Ask almost any mother. However, you do have the law on your side. If you are willing to pay child support, she has not choice but to let you have visitation. You may not get to see him as much as you want to, but you will still have contact with him. I encourage you to do that. Please don't ever let your son believe you don't want him or care about him. That will break his little spirit for many many years. Keep in touch with him as much as you can even if it is mainly in letters and phone calls. He will love hearing from you. Good luck to you and your son and his mother. It is a hard road right in front of you, but it will get a little easier, and it will definitely be worth it. Remember, he is a part of you too.
2007-02-09 22:10:59 · answer #3 · answered by sfb_wolfpack_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother always gets dibbs on the child.
Why don't you want to establish at least a bonding positive friendship with the mother, you can set those boundaries, tell her.
It is good for the mental health of the child to know that his parents at least care about each other.
You need to understand that you had sex with this woman and at some point you cared somewhat for her. She is your child's mother so you need to grow the hell up and start acting like a mature man and show some compassion and respect towards her.
Tell her you are no longer interested in her sexually, whatever, but tell her you still seek to have a good relationship with her on friendly terms.... At least have some integrity and treat her like you would a friend.
You will not get the kid, and this woman will be in your life, like it or not, as long as this child is in your life. So you might as well establish a good relationship with her,
try to grow up a bit, too.
2007-02-09 21:39:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can prevent her from taking your child further than a 50 mile radius. Yes, you can.
You need to contact a family law attorney (quietly) and request to meet with the attorney (bring your parents along). He/She will let you know exactly what your rights are and can file a motion preventing her from taking your child anyplace.
You can also request shared parenting, a support order will be issued and parenting time will also be arranged.
Do it now before she splits out of state or you will have to go to whatever state she is residing in to deal with the issue of both child support (b/c she WILL file to receive it) and visits with your son.
If a judge see's that you love your son, are continuing your education to be able to provide a life for and care for your son and you have good, solid extended family support, your chances are GREAT that you'll at very least be able to share parenting with her 1/2 the time.
She'll have to simply deal with the fact that you love your son but you don't love her romantically.
The both of you need to however be "amicable" and "responsible" to raise your son well!!
Good luck to you. I admire the fact that you want to raise your son. Hopefully you and his mother can do so like adults...
2007-02-09 22:26:00 · answer #5 · answered by Ember 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it dose come down to going to court then try to get joint because she can't say that you can't see your son and if she doesn't have a good paying job then chances are you would have more of a good chance of getting your son.
And if your parents are willing to help you then I would look at getting a good lawyer for when you go to court. And if they try to say you can't because your a full student right now then point out to them that you have your parents to watch your son and who dose she have if she goes to Texas.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you and your son.
2007-02-10 03:49:54 · answer #6 · answered by T78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not want to be with her then just leave. Staying together just for the kid is nothing good cause all you will be doing is suffering through being with someone you don't want to be with and that will make you hate her so much more.
If she moves then go and visit and much as you can but if she is fit parent then there is nothing you can do to keep her from moving but if she was unfit then maybe you could try to get your kid.
2007-02-09 21:24:31 · answer #7 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move to Texas. Or, you get a lawyer and file custody papers. You may not get your son, but you may be able to keep her from moving too far.
2007-02-09 21:21:57 · answer #8 · answered by CC 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
fight for dual custody, so that you both will have time w/ your son and will be able to both be parents to him. Or try to see if you can do a transfer from your school to a school closer to where she is moving so you will be closer to your child.
2007-02-09 21:26:57 · answer #9 · answered by Cheezy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to court and get legal rights of the child.
2007-02-10 01:37:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋