I don't like how she raised her own children, leaving her 7a nd 8 year old at home by themselves on many occasions while she was out doing what she wanted to do. she also let her daughters molestor back in the house after he molested her. she doesn't like me because i don't treat her like she's my mother. she doesn't call to check on the kids anymore because she says i don't answer the phone when she calls, i was busy with two babies ages 2 and 5months, i don't have caller id and he neer leaves a message. she calls husband all the time, everyday almost. he doesn't understand. she has watched my 2 year old before and i was unsatisfied because she doesn't give her individed attention, she lets her run wild with her other teenage children. i can count on one hand how many times she held my 5 month old. what do you think?
2007-02-09 12:43:33 · 26 answers · asked by MamaLady 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
husband wants her to watvh the kids, her other children are 11boy, 13girl and 17boy
2007-02-09 12:52:57 · update #1
my mother is perfectly capable of watching them
2007-02-09 12:54:14 · update #2
he wants her and his sister the watch them at our house while we go on a date
2007-02-09 13:02:40 · update #3
no, and don't feel badly about it, not one little bit, it's your job and responsibility to protect your children, do not let them down, no matter what others might say, nothing matters but keeping your children safe
2007-02-09 12:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by melissa s 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all welcome to being married. You can't hold the fact that the m-i-l let the daughters molester back in the house against her, UNLESS that person is still welcome in the house. If that is the case husband be dam*ed you are their mother. It is your job and responsibility to make sure your children are safe and that is not a safe situation. Now as to her watching them as long as she makes sure they are safe the fact that what you want her to do is give them her undivided attention really doesn't matter. She is their grandmother. However if they go to her house and come back harmed in some way that right there is reason enough and your husband should respect that. Have you tried explaining to her why you don't want her to watch your kids? I know in allot of cases that isn't an option but could it possibly be in yours? This is a very typical situation unfortunately hang in there.
By the way I'm not just pulling this off the cuff. I have been married for 9 years I have 5 children and I have frequently been in similar situations. But I had to come to the realization that while I may not agree with the way she raised her children or some of the decisions she has made about mine that she does not intend to do physical harm to my children. She is their grandmother and she loves them and as long as they're safe that is what has to matter most.
2007-02-17 02:36:01 · answer #2 · answered by galixcysmagic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your gut says no, than the answer is no. But you have to remember this is their grandma and her other kids are family also. Since my mother has been gone for almost 2 years now, I see where her grandchildren are missing her and what is missing in their lives. Don't take that away from your children prematurely. If you have doubts about the way she does things visit or invite her over for dinners or just because the kids want to see her. Just don't leave them unsupervised.
2007-02-09 12:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by Virginia C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is absolutely no way that I would let her watch my children, she has a bad history with her own . Who in thier right mind would trust her. I think that it would be a good thing to sit and talk with her about the feelings that you are having but I would not feel comfortable myself leaving my children in this situation.
2007-02-17 02:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by Connie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let her watch them. You are suppost to protect your children. Not put them in the hands of someone that clearly has done inexcusable and unforgivable things to her own children!!!
It might seen harsh but if my husband wouldn't understand I would say to bad. I can't believe he would want to do this?...I might even leave him.
You are the voice and protector of your children. Go with what your already thinking your right. And don't let anyone else tell you different.
2007-02-10 07:13:29 · answer #5 · answered by sparksgirls6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to go with your gut. You know that your children could be in danger in so many different ways with her. I wouldn't even consider leaving my children with her (My husbands mom-I don't even consider her my mother in law- is exactly the same, I couldn't trust her if my life- or my child's- was dependant upon it). You don't get a second chance if something happens to one of your kids that's irreversable, when they're with her. As a mom, you have to protect them. If she weren't your hubby's mom, would her qualifications be good enough to leave your kids there? I think not !! Stick to your guns !!!!1
2007-02-09 14:38:08 · answer #6 · answered by pritigrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should she watch the kids? I think it is up to you and your husband. Sounds like the two of you are at an impasse. He says yes you say no. She can visit or you can visit or their father can visit with the kids. If you honestly feel the children aren't getting supervised properly and are getting severely neglected or if they are being abused then obviously no...If you don't need her to watch the kids then your problem is solved...no babysitting just supervised visitations
2007-02-09 12:54:13 · answer #7 · answered by kewtber 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have decided already what the best for your kids is. Why not just go with your gut? If she was distracted from watching your two year old, how much more divided is her attention gonna be with two kids?
2007-02-09 12:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by katnfiddle_14 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is such a hard decision but i would consider this. In my situation, my daughter has grown up with hardly any hand on hand contact with her grandmother at all; only the gifts at christmas and birthdays and an occasional hello on the telephone. Her father has taken the steps to take her to see grandmother, grandmother has not taken steps to see her.
In your case i would be happy of any kind of interaction with that my children have with grandmother even if they are at her house and with other members of "her family". Ummm....you said "her other teenage children" am i correct? Those "other teenage children" would be related to your children hon. Sounds like good family bonding to me.
2007-02-09 12:50:49 · answer #9 · answered by LM 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its sad but if you really feel she is bad with your children then do NOT leave them with her. You are making the best choice for your kids and being a good mother. Trust your intuitions!
2007-02-09 12:51:20 · answer #10 · answered by Flipp 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your job is to protect your children and if you feel like she is not a good babysitter then don't let her watch the kids better safe than sorry.
2007-02-15 08:52:40 · answer #11 · answered by IceQueen_Always2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋