why do some mothers think you can let a little one do as it pleases, then have a decent adult?

Question

I think it is a parent's responsibility to think about what kind of adult they are creating.

Answer 1

I am not condoning this sort of parenting but i must admit that there are some children who are raised in this sort of a manner and they are doing fine and are more than "decent" adults.

Answer 2

I agree. I feel that it's a lack in foresight. Some parents do feel that if it's convenient at the time [letting them do as they please just to have it "easy" for the moment] and then regret it later when their sweet toddler who gets everything they want turns into a teenager who demands an IPod or new car on their sixteenth birthday. We all wonder what went wrong but really it's something that could have been fixed years before.

My son is only one and my cousin [who has been in my car for two years] are my top priority. I don't care if it's not convenient to watch them scream or leave a public place due to bad behavior---I'll do whatever it takes every time.

It also has to do with consistency. If a child is allowed to behave badly at home--they will feel it's "okay" to do so in public. If a parent is too lazy to correct demanding behavior one time then the child will always test to see if it will happen again. For example--a three year old wants a toy. The parent doesn’t feel like arguing about it so they just get it for them. The child will always see if that will happen again.

We also teach our children how to behave through our own actions. Every time I get upset or angry I take a minute to contain myself so I present myself as I would want them to. All behavior is learned. While I realize outside influences can be bad, I also realize that my own is the most important one to set.

Parenting isn't an easy job. It's not about convenience. As corny as it sounds, it's about patience, consistency, time, and love. I love my boys enough to discipline them, set a good example, tell them "no," and be there for them as hard as it is sometimes. I do feel that some parents don't have that stamina that's why becoming a parent should be a very well thought out choice.

Every time I make a choice in parenting my boys I think about the whole outcome--the next day, week, and even years to come. It’s important to take the time and realize what we do as parents NOW does effect what happens later!

I'm sorry I wrote a book! I just feel strongly about this! I hope this answers your question!

Answer 3

In some cases the mother would rather let the child get away with things because she doesnt have her priorties correct. Letting the child get away with misbeaving is easier than taking the time to teach the child the proper way of behaving in a variety of situations. Raising a child is a huge commitment, and an ongoing relationship in which the child should be taught on a regular basis the proper way to behave. Parenting is a continous process, so one must put extra effort into teaching the child the proper beahvior. This helps "mold" your child into a decent citizen in his/her future Also, set good exmaples. Children do as they see. & hear*

Answer 4

I heard someone say once, that you aren't raising a child--you already have a child. You are RAISING an adult. I thought it a good thing to remember. I also like the motto "Begin as you mean to go on". You can't let a kid do whatever they want and then try to rein them back in, not without a lot of difficulty. If you keep the reins real tight to start with and then loosen them as they are capable and more mature they will walk a much better road.

Answer 5

Many parents want to be the friend of their child and always want to be the one that their kids can grow up and know that their parent is cool ..

If they realize that if they put their foot down and control their children from day one they will understand that is what their children need instead of a friend

Answer 6

I totally agree!!! When I see children running rampant in stores, church, on reality TV like super nanny, I just shake my head. Too many parents want to be their children's friend instead of being responsible and raising them to responsible adults.

Answer 7

I totally agree with you. First of all Its the responsibility of the parent to know child development what is normal behavior and not typical behavior. Next, parents need to know about discipline which means to guide in a positive way with out hurting the childs self esteem. It helps to know how you were raised as a child because most likely the way you were raised is how you are going to raise your child. Even if you promise your self that you are not going to talk to your children the way your parents talked to you, when you least expect it your mothers voice comes out of your mouth. Don't get me wrong we all love and appreciate our parents and all the love they gave us and keep on giving us. Its not about blaming and judging its about moving forward with the new knowledge and experience in the area of child development. We do make and impact on how our children are going to be !!! It's a big responsibility because our children depend on us to guide them positively and with lots of love with out using fear based discipline (spanking, timeout or isolation, yelling, threats , counting 1, 2, 3... or else.) Children learn responsibility best when they are not hurting (Dr. Becky Bailey, author of Theres got to be a better way Discipline that works for parents and teachers.) According to Dr. Becky Bailey she says that children misbehave as a part of there developmental process. Putting them on time out stops the behavior for the moment but doesn't teach young children to problem solve. Dr. Becky Bailey says that this technique doesn't work because children don't have inner speech up untill the age of 6 or 7. Therefore telling the child to think about it at time out doesn't work because they can't think aobut it yet. Parents and teachers are under the assumption that children need to hurt in order to learn not to misbehave. Dr. Becky Bailey teaches brain smart discipline. She says that the only reason time outs, spanking, yelling, threats, don't work is because the child need to be in her higher thinking part of the brain other than the lymbic system which controls emotion. In this area ,problem solving and consequence doesn't take place. I could go on and on. There is so much to learn and change its not easy but worth the hard work. our childrens self esteem is at stake and we do want them to be the best that they can be. Parents need to realy plan and learn before they decide to be a parent.

Answer 8

I agree totally. I think the main reason that people let their children run all over them is because thay are afraid of confrontation. They will never know what hit them when the kids are 11- 15 or older. God help them!

Answer 9

i was raised like that and turned out to be the best in my class, and i am close with my family, and i am good. some parents might think its the right thing to do, maybe there parents were hard on them so they want to be differ.

Answer 10

It is because the parent is too lazy, or stays away from punishment, thinking it will create more conflict.