How to tell you friend they're a stupid idiot?

Question

My friend has been with this guy for about 2 years. He has tried to dump her about 7 times, but she keeps crawling back. He treats her horribly, flirting with other girls in front of her, telling her she's put on weight (well she has...), chatting to girls on the net and not telling them he has a girlfriend, he tries to make her do sexual things she is not comfortable with and seems to expect her to do sexual things, when they have arguements he pushes her and hits her, "rarely in the face" she says, and she says he loves her and will stop eventually. She is 19 and he is 21. We've tried everything, how the hell do we make her snap out of it? She has been in a bad relationship before.

Please only answer if you are going to be helpful, i know shes a stupid idiot so i dont need other peoples opinions on that, just advice.

Answer 1

im going through the same thing right now. do other guys look at her at all? i mean, do they flirt with her or seem interested? if not, she might be doing this because she is desparate for male attention. Maybe she is just afraid of losing her bf and finding another bad relationship. you have to talk to her as a friend and tell her that she is going down the wrong path and she deserves someone better. if she doesnt listen, then i dont think there is anything else you can do except help her through this time.

Answer 2

omg i understand completely me and my Friend just went through this now let me tell you what i did to put a stop 2 that . I sat her down and we had a calm and peaceful conversation i told her she is a grown woman and she can make her own discussions...but if she gave a damn thing about what i thought she would hear what i had 2 say ! you tell your Friend that she might THINK he loves her but she will never have to question the love between u and her .. tell her that her that all u are trying 2 do is help and being with some1 who obviously cares nothing about her is just ridiculous ! after you have done all that tell he that this is the LAST time u and her will have this conversation . You have done all u can 2 help and if this isn't enough then what u need to do is sit and wait 4 things to fall into place ...ur Friend will one day be able 2 c that that her so called boy Friend is not right 4 her ....i hope every thing works out 4 u

Answer 3

I recently went through this with a very close friend of mine, I tried everything too, but the only thing that worked was letting her go through it. When she realized I stopped trying to get her to leave the guy and accepted her decision, she slowly began to realize how tired she was of complaining about the way he treated her and she left him on her own. Sometimes, the best lesson is learned when you go through it. The lesson I learned was that I'm not her mother, I'm her friend. You did what you had to do as a friend, now you just have to let her live her life. Good luck!

Answer 4

Well did not mention how many friends she has? An how many know the entire situation. Have and I mean all her real friends do an intervention. Remember to be constructive. Maybe some of you know his friends. Have them tell em to step back too. You have to follow through and be there for her at all times. I assume and agree no more being with him. Just like a drug problem. Support and being there to help. At all hours. You do sound commited to getting rid of this jerk. So please help her. She may be very mad at you and your friends. Long run she will wake up. Also help her later with her weight issue, if you feel this too has become a problem. If she listens to all of your advice she may eat and this could become more of an issue. If you and her other friends can not commit ask professional help. It is not as hard as it sounds. Hope for the best.

Answer 5

Have you talked to others about this like your mother or sisters? Have you really talked to out with your friends or is one of you just carrying the others down this road?
Friends are important, but people must at some point take a position and hold their ground, even if it means losing a friend, Just make sure you are being very careful in your evaluation of the situation. Good Luck.

Answer 6

THis is a touchy subject. Your friend seems to be in denial about what is happening to her. You have to be careful so you do not hurt he relationship between the two of you while at the same helping your friend wake up before she winds up a statistic. I suggest you try to get your friend to go and talk to a counselor. Tell her it would mean a lot to you if she would just TALK with someone and see what they have to say. You could hold an intervention and get a group of her friends and family together to talk to her (not degrade or make fun) about the consequences of her actions.

Good luck. I hope your friend leaves him before she gets hurt badly.

Answer 7

Honestly, you just have to tell her that it's not right that he treat her that way. Confront her about all of these behaviors, every time you see them or hear about them, and urge her to leave the relationship. Obviously, there's no way you can force her to snap out of it--all you can do is nicely tell her that she needs to do this for herself. Unfortunately, she may reject you instead of him, as there is a certain psychological profile that goes along with abusive relationships, but as her friend you have to do what is right and try to help her.

Answer 8

My suggestion is get her to an abuse center and let her talk to one of their councilors.
He is abusing her and even if she would get her wish, he most likely will beat her and it could lead to her death. My daughter
was in one of those relationships and wen to an abuse center and they told her if she did not leave him , she better have a plan tp excape before he illed her.
Tell her if she has patience she will meet a guy that will love no matter what. She should try to date other guys which could lead to that one and only. Hanging on to him scares all the good ones away

Answer 9

I had to end my friendship with my best friend because of that. The guy she is with killed his cat and that was it for me. She had her choice, my lifetime friendship or being this man's slave. Unfortunately it got in the way of our friendship so I walked away without confrontation. If I told her she was a stupid idiot she would have told me to get lost. We were friends for over 20 years too.

Answer 10

well first you talk to your self and ask your self why you are getting in to other ppl's lifes despite how long you have known them and how close you are. because its not your life now get a boy friend for your self so you can stop worrying about other ppl. ppl like you<<< ruin relationships because you dont kno ne thing about the real relationship you just might be saying the parts that are bad about it and not realizing that they actually love each other its ppl like you that ruin the world. you should probally leave your friend over all so she wont be ruined just like you.