ok so whenever my boyfriend is in a ...........?

Question

whenever my boyfriend is in a bad mood he always takes it out on me.like yells at me and e/t.should i be mad at him for this?or just let it pass?

Answer 1

Be very weary of this kind of behavior. If it escalates, it could turn into emotional, mental, or physical abuse.

Let him know that you're there for him to come to in order to relax and to let his guard down around you, not for him to chew you out. Allow him to vent about things that are bothering him, even if he's yelling ABOUT them, that's better than yelling AT YOU. Calm him down by just allowing him to let it all out and then just hold his hand or offer him massage.

Answer 2

As a 36 year old man who has been married and divorced, dated lots of different people, and has fallen in and out of love numerous times, I can tell you without a doubt that you don't deserve to be treated in such a way. EVER!

Here's the thing, as long as you treat him like the man you care for (with respect and tenderness), any negative behavior should never be allowed. He should treat you with the same tenderness you give him. Even if you do something to tick him off, he should have the common sense to let it go or resolve the problem without being abusive. The problem your expressing is that he's in a bad mood from circumstances outside of your relationship, and then turning his frustrations toward you. That's shouldn't be tolerated one moment.

But, instead of being angry at him, try helping him get through the real problem - without allowing him to use you as a verbal punching bag. First, demand that he treats you with the respect you deserve, then try to cool him down, and reassure him that you're on his side and that you both can get through the real issues. If he follows through, your relationship will grow stronger, but if not, then you'll know that you're with an abusive person and you can break it off knowing you'll be safer in the long run.

But never let it pass... Always get the problem issues out of the way so that you both can enjoy the relationship.

Answer 3

This is a very subtle form of abuse which you should not allow to continue. In a relationship, there should be mutual respect regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in. There is a tendency that this verbal abuse will escalate into something more harmful so it has to be nipped in the bud at this stage.

You should tell your boyfriend that such behavior is not acceptable and that you won't tolerate it. Refuse to have any contact with him if he starts yelling at you. If the behavior continues, perhaps you should re-evaluate the relationship. He may benefit from some form of counseling if he is willing. Otherwise, find someone else who will treat you as you deserve to be treated whatever the situation.

Answer 4

You definitely should not let him take it out on you. You don't take your problems out on him, so don't enable him to do so to you. Its not right and its not fair.

I have a hard time in relationships just sitting back and letting uncalled for things go because I was in an extremely abusive relationship for way too long and will not stand for unacceptable behavior. Your man is with you for a reason and if he loves you deeply then he should not be treating you like that.

Although in his defense, he might not even realize what he is doing. You need to calmly talk to him when he is in a normal mood and tell him calmly but exactly, what the behavior is that makes you uncomfortable, and then why it makes you uncomfortable. If he does not realize that he is doing it, it may be hard for him to connect two and two so politely tell him that you don't want to argue about it but if it happens again you will just politely point it out then and perhaps you two can talk about it then.

Good luck.

Answer 5

You need to tell him that he can't lash out at you whenever anything is bothering him. You don't deserve that...nobody does. I used to be the same way until I took anger management classes (on my own, not court ordered). The classes completely changed my perspective on things. I learned that I may be angry at something, but yelling and outbursts aren't the answer. Nothing gets resolved by yelling. So, my advice would be to explain to him that you don't appreciate him directing his anger toward you. And if he can't deal with that, and continues to do it, then he isn't the right one for you. If he is smart, he'll realize what he's doing isn't good.

Answer 6

Yes be mad ! If you allow him to abuse you(verbal abuse is still abuse) he'll just keep doing it and he'll get worse and worse and will probably move on to beating you.By the time that happens you'll be so afraid of him you'll just take the abuse. Then, you'll have a couple of kids and he'll yell at and hit them too and 40 years from now he'll die of a heart attack and you'll be a widow who's kids don't love her and too old to have a new start in life with a decent, gentle, man. Sorry, I'm ranting. DUMP HIM !

Answer 7

You should be really mad at him. This no way of treaty a lady. Tell him to give you respect. If doesn't change then you need to move because I am sure you deserve so much better

Answer 8

when hes in a good mood let him know tat you dont think its fair that hes taking hes anger out on you and you would appreciate it that he releases him anger in a different way. if any violence is involved break up with him immediately.

Answer 9

If it is too much, talks to him about this and tell him that you're no shock absorber. But tell him that you understand if he's in a bad mood but it's just too much.

Answer 10

u need 2 tell him how u feel and tell him it's not right 2 take his anger out on u.