3 months later?

Question

its 3 months now after the break up, i feel like i havent changed my feelings, i still have this painful feeling that i want to be with this person more than any1 else but cant, gets more confusing cos she says she stills likes me but never gets in contact with me after saying so .........
cocaine has helped but only for short periods i dnt want to continuously take it, as i will get hooked, only when im really down do i take this, i think in the morning when i wake up, not a lot, just something to get me out of bed and stopping making me feel so down,
i dont want to tell her how i feel , she already knows, reason why we broke up cos i scared her, cos i told her or continuously told her my feelings for her.
Anyway donno what to do, im giving her some space but i blame myself for what happened.
any comments would be appreciated thanks in advance

thanks for the advise all, i think it was really foolish to go to coke,
but i dnt think i can give up on her yet, i know its not healthy always being in thought does she likes me does she not! and no i wont let a flower petal's decide for me either lol.
i think im going to take it as she comes, weather she txts me or not or emails me ot not.
im just slightly confused that if i take a wrong action here i might lose her completly, and she was my first Gf and she does go to uni with me.

Answer 1

STOP DOING THE COCAINE ... you may 'think' it makes it 'easier' for you to 'handle' your problem, but it really is just 'dragging the pain out longer' ...
You are going through a 'grieving process' that is 'natural' ... and if you had NOT taken any cocaine, you'd be anywhere from 1/4 -1/2 the way through it ... but since you have taken the coke, you haven't even 'actually started' the grieving yet.
The FIRST thing you need to do is start going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings ... and go at least twice a week for at least six months ... then you may 'go' only once a week if you feel that you 'don't really need' the coke any more.
The second thing you need to do is to tell this young woman that you are 'very sorry' you 'screwed up' your relationship with her and wish her 'all the best in the future' ... then you need to NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN. AFTER you've done that, you may 'wallow in your grief' for up to one week (but you may NOT wallow at NA meetings, and you MUST go to them). Go ahead and 'cry, scream, and bang your head on the wall' ... do ANYTHING you want to as long as it doesn't 'get you high' or can't possibly kill you. Third ... join a 'totally different group' that does 'something you've never tried before' together on a regular basis ... and when you 'do that' you must 'try your hardest to do your best' and 'be open and friendly with everyone.' You don't have to 'tell them' that you are in NA or that you are 'recovering from a break-up that was your fault' because you want to 'earn these people's respect and friendship, not their 'pity.'
I'm really 'sorry for you' for feeling as badly as you do now, but you have also 'done it to yourself' by taking cocaine instead of just letting the 'grief' flow naturally. It normally takes six months to a year to 'totally finish grieving' even when it's just that you have broken up with someone ... but because you must also now fight the cocaine (whether you think you are addicted or not) it's going to take at least twice as long as the longest 'regular time' for you to 'heal properly.' YOU CAN DO IT. Just take 'one step at a time' ... and the other people in NA will have 'similar problems and they can actually 'help you get better' in more ways than just 'stopping relying on cocaine' to feel better. GOOD LUCK. I'll be praying for you.

Answer 2

Extract that boot from your back side stop blaming yourself and kicking yourself,i know u can't tell a heart who 2 love,love starts with the first preservation...yourself. Love yourself and others can love u and when u love yourself u stop poisoning your temple(your body is your temple).You are the bigger man in this situation and u did love her cause u set her free and if she comes back u were meant 2 be.If she doesn't then she wasn't 4 u.So stop kicking yourself u know u are a better man then that and there's someone out there 4 everyone i found mine and i love him so much. It took 2yrs, but i found the one that was 4 me.I met him on line and that was 2 yrs ago.Now were married .Don't search i wasn't looking i was playing a game and he left me an im(instant message) and i replied.We were 2 gether official x-mas 2 yrs ago the only difference was i was living outta state. Were happy and then some.Nothing stays bad forever. Give life a chance, your depressed and u should stop being that way before u make yourself sick and addicted 2 coke so get some help even if its rehab.Let love find u and u will know when u have found her. Give it a try i know all i've said is easier then getting it done.

Answer 3

1 - Stop taking drugs. TRUST me. As someone who did the same to deal with a break up, that is going to hold you in place for a long time.
2 - Get out of the house, and get some excersise. The endorphins will help cheer you up.
3 - Sam-E is a kind of mood stabilizer. It takes the peaks and valleys away, so you mihgt not feel so down.
4 - Learn to be alone. Constantly telling a girl you are into her makes you look desperate, and that is not attractive to ANY girl.
5 - Accept the fact that she is just not that into you. She tells you she likes you because she is trying to be nice. She might like you as a casual friend, but that is all. And if there is a chance she will develop feelings, you are killing it by staying this way. you need to have your own life and be confident in your self. That will attract women so much more.

Good luck.

Answer 4

First off give up the drugs totally..you are using them as a cructh and they are stopping you from dealing with the feelings and moving forward..You have to go thru the feelings to get past them..
If you just can't deal with asking anyone out yet,,get into some activities and do some socializing..be around friends,,expand your social circle stay busy... and Stop getting high.
Don't blame yourself you have your way and the really Right person will love it..You two were just not compatible..esle you would be together..

Answer 5

first you should not be doing drugs i got over my oy friend but it took help from friends and family and i felt a lot better and even met someone new and we are doing great all you need to do is just calm down and do some thing with the time you have to get over it

Answer 6

She's just thinking. Just continue giving her some space and rethink your feeling. If it's meant to be it will work out if it's not you will find someone else that will love you for you and you will be happy with them.