sometimes i feel that he loves me other times i don't.he is always high and does pot.
were not commited to each other because were not married.
but however, i am pregnant with our first child and that kinda ties in here.
hes a druggy.he smokes 2 packages of ciggarettes sometimes more sometimes less.
he refuses to go to rehab.he just got off of probation as well.
i love him very much and wish he would change but for the sake of our baby im not sure if he is father material.
help,what should i do?
2007-02-09 10:56:38 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If he is smoking around you, you are going to harm your unborn child. If he isnt willing to let that life go, dump him and figure this out on your own. Sorry to sound harsh, but you and your baby do NOT needs drugs in your life.
2007-02-09 11:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by banderson 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dear but it is time to walk away....Chances are that he he will never change and it's bad enough that you have put up with....but to bring a child into a situation like this is not only wrong but it is also very selfish. If you do decide to leave...be strong. You can make it on your own. Also, my advice would be to give the baby YOUR last name if you are not married. Speaking from experience, you will regret it ifyou give the child his last name.
He does deserve to be a part of the childs life...if he chooses to, but from what you described, it sounds like he will probably just bail out on the two of you anyway. Just make sure to establish child support! Your baby deserves it even if the father is a scum bag!
I have been through all of that with my first husband and we had two children together. Now he is a deadbeat dad and I think that if I would have just walked away a long time before I did, it would have been a lot easier on both myself and my kids.
There is light at the end of the tunnel though...I am now remarried to an AMAZING man who is a terrific father to my two children, he has two children also and we now have a 5 week old baby girl. He is my best friend and would NEVER do anything to jeopardize my health or safety or that of our children.
Love doesn't have to be hard....you just have to find the right one.
Good luck Mama and keep your head up!
2007-02-09 11:12:08 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question of whether not he is father material....too late for that. However, having a child from someone does tie you'll together for life. But, it does not entitle you to be with that person for life. I would wait until the baby is born and see if his attitude towards smoking marijuana changes. If not, there is a decision that you have to make for not only yourself, but for your child. Do you want your child to grow up in a home that his or her father is spending money on drugs instead of spending it on your child? Do you want your child and yourself to be put in a situation where weed no longer satisfies his high and he moves on to something stronger? These are questions that you have to answer for yourself and your child. Think about it. Good luck and congratulations on the birth of your first. Children are a blessing, remember that.
2007-02-09 11:03:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i understand the hard to leave part but you have to. He does not sound like father material and he is harming your unborn child if he gets high around you. If you have a place to go or get your own place and leave him you will find out truly if he wants to change and be with you and your child. But if you move out and he chases don't give in so easily tell him you want him to seek help for the pot, and you want to see changes before any rash decisions are made and get his head out of his butt. If he truly loves you and wants to have a family and be a father he will change. Stay strong trust me I know its hard but if he doesn't you and your child deserve a lot better. Hope this helps! Good luck.
2007-02-09 11:11:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him again letting him know that you will leave if he continues to smoke pot - which is illegal and he can have his probation revoked - and smoke cigarettes around you. Both of these are dangerous to you and your unborn child. Stick to your guns and if he doesn't get help and stop, then you have to do what is best for you and your baby. Maybe if you leave, he will clean up his act and you can get back together.
2007-02-09 11:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love aside, why would you want a man like this anywhere around a little child! You already know he is no role model and I would hope you would want more for this baby you are carrying. Just remember that drugs kill lives, literally and physically!
2007-02-11 01:53:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you should leave him. If someone were to call child protective services and report his marijuana use and they would come to your home and find some there they could take your child away from you & put it into foster care. I am a foster parent and I've had many children placed in my home because of this. Good luck to you whatever you decide.
2007-02-09 11:50:03 · answer #7 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not willing to go into rehab, do you honestly expect him to be a good father? Also, smoking around you and your unborn is extremely unhealthy. If he doesn't know that, and won't change his habits, then I'm sorry, but you need to find someone else.
2007-02-09 11:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by Silver 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a word of advice - never have sex with someone that you may not want as a parent of your child - why take the risk. leave him your child doesnt need someone in his/ her life like that. also if hes doing drugs - you could have your baby taken away - you may want to think about that
2007-02-09 11:03:45 · answer #9 · answered by kd baby 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All the details aside. If you have to ask the question, then the answer is yes. Aside from that YES!
2007-02-09 11:14:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋