I got cheated on 5 to 9 times, until I found my boyfriend, we been going out for two years, and I love him alot, he want's to get married and have kids, with me, but Why do I have a problem trusting him, he already knows, about my ex's , and he said, that's them , and your with me now, and I would never hurt you, how can I trust this, I just dont want to get hurt again.
2007-02-09 10:34:44 · 10 answers · asked by kitty 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My friend, saids , that my boyfriend, thinks I might break up with him, cause I think he's cheating on me, but I would never do that to him, how can I let my past go???
2007-02-09 10:35:57 · update #1
Realize this, hon, everyone on this planet of ours has been hurt in one way or another. If this guy isn't showing any signs that he is being unfaithful, then let it be. If not, you're going to look around and he'll be gone. You have to learn to let the past go, if not, then it will haunt you forever. Don't blame this guy for what someone else did to you...it isn't fair and it isn't his fault. It's hard to do, but you're going to have to look towards the future and close the door on something that happened years ago. You'll feel better when you do.
2007-02-09 10:41:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have had to learn a hard lesson.
SOME men will cheat & lie & lie & lie even if you have indisputable proof they did cheat.
Having learnt that, you are now faced with a new relationship- so, should you trust him?
Surely trust has to be earned? Not handed naively on a plate!
Take small steps, one at a time.
Don't get too entangled with him, just date him over a period of time & see if he's reliable- someone you can depend on.
Does he let you down? Are his accounts consistently true or innacurate descriptions according to what you know to be fact?
That is the only way you can go forward & protect yourself from getting hurt again.
By doing that, you are not heaping your past baggage onto him unfairly - you just being WISE.
I'll give you a case history to hopefully help you:
A woman has 2 children, she's been let down very badly by the 2nd dad. She meets another bloke- tells him how her previous partner wronged her & asks him not to do the same. He promises faithfully saying "I would never do that!" then he goes & does the same thing!!
That's a true story!
So yeh! Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing...
2007-02-10 10:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The past is always hard to let go of...if anyone knows that i do, but i'm not surprised you have a problem with trusting you have been cheated on numerous times that gives you enough reason not to trust, but having said that you have to re learn to trust and this guy sounds asthough he is genuine towards you, if needs be just take things slow to begin with, i'm sure he will understand, just so you can build up your confidence in trusting again slowly, good luck.
2007-02-09 18:43:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what you mean, most of my exes have cheated on me. One had a fiance behind my back, one was seeing a girl fro the internet, and others just cheated on me when they went out. I find it hard to trust my bf because this has happened in my past. No matter how many times he tells me he loves me and tells me heisnt gunna cheat on me, Im still a bit funy when he goes out with his mates. I guess its only normalto feel like this when you have been hurt, you just dont want to let your gaurd down and be hurt again because each time it gets harder to trust. Im beggining to get a little better but its still hard. Its not that I think he is gunna do it, its more being scared
2007-02-09 18:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by crazyicklepwincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To live for the future. You must let go of the past. That's gonna mean getting away from Mr. Disrespect. He wasn't thinking about you. When he slept with someone else. You'e not gonna let him hold you back. Get out there and find someone that really does care about you! ` Cause he damn-sure don't!
2007-02-09 18:47:15 · answer #5 · answered by Goggles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just have to take a leap of faith.
The man wants to marry you..... thats a good sign! But your paranoia may drive him away. Just forget the past and enjoy your present. Your ex is gone!
2007-02-09 18:39:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
thats hard..I have the same problem. You just have to learn to trust untill they show you otherwise. If you never trust again how can you go on with any other relationships? Have faith in your boyfriend....esp if he has nto done nothing for you to not have faith in him.
2007-02-09 18:40:21 · answer #7 · answered by oxygenO 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sometimes you just have to take a chance. You can't keep living in the past.
2007-02-09 18:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by Buffy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you didnt have enough time to get over your ex before you got with your current fella.
only you know how to do this.
2007-02-09 18:39:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
is the problem his or yours and make them pay.show that your a great catch find another
2007-02-09 18:42:09 · answer #10 · answered by game boy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋