i have been with tom for 4yrs and we are to marry next summer.he has been divorced for 5yrs with a 7yr old child.the problem is his exwife she treats me like a doormat(tells me what i can and can't do with thier child,talks badly about me to our freinds+family ect)and all my bf does is makes excusses why he will not stand up for me(can't control what she says,don't want to make waves for his son ect)becuase he has joint custody of his son i have to deal with her all the time.now to makes matters worse after all she does to me hes nice to her(listens to her health problems,changes his childs visatation schedule around to help her out,basicly does what ever she whats)why when he knows how upset i get does he do this?why can't he stand up to her?hes the one who left her because she was so controlling to me it seems she still is
2007-02-09 09:05:54 · 4 answers · asked by shella7687 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, you have to realize that when you marry him, you are marrying her too. She will be in your life as long as your bf is. His son comes first (and should) and if it means kissing her butt, he will. You are and always will be second in his life and you need to come to terms with that before you marry him.
When she tells you what to do with her son. Just smile and tell her that you have other plans. When she talks bad about you to family/friends, just smile and say something positive. You have to treat as though it doesn't bother you. She knows that you are getting upset by it and that is exactly why she is doing it.
2007-02-09 09:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a boyfriend who has baggage. You will have at least 11 more years of it until the son is grown. Your boyfriend is always going to put you last since he is already doing it. You think you can go through at least 11 more years of being second? You will not be the first 2nd wife to go through this. Most husbands will put their 2nd wife first, but yours if too whipped by the first wife. I would suggest that you two go into some much needed counseling before the nuptials, so he can learn to balance both you and the ex and keep the relations with his son.
2007-02-09 09:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he dosnt want to lose his son maby. make him listen to you when you tell him how you feel and if he dosnt stop sticking up fr him finde some one better because honey there is a lot of fish in the sea. maby you should be the one to stick up to her.
2007-02-09 09:12:32 · answer #3 · answered by Vanessa Anne Hudgens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your bf to get a backbone and tell his ex to quit being a pain in the ***.
2007-02-09 09:10:04 · answer #4 · answered by david w 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋