I had some concerns about my relationship with my brother. We are so different and in many ways I felt bad with the way he joked around about me. I tried saying something over the years and he didn't ever seem to hear me. We are now in our 30's and I finally just emailed him after Christmas and told him that I am getting more upset over the years over something that started out so small. I feel upset and that he is insenitive to me frequently. It has been like this since childhood and so I told him that I don't blame him.. we were raised this way and I just felt that I needed to say something about it. He got very defensive and angry. So I told him that I would no longer put up with feeling bullied, no matter how innocent his intentions. He then emailed me back telling me that I am a very manipulative person and that he will not kiss my a-s-s. Did I do something wrong? I was just trying to ask him to show more respect when talking to me. What happened?????
2007-02-09 08:56:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all, good for you for finally standing up for yourself!
It's really hard to advise on the situation without knowing your family dynamic, but my brother and I had some similar issues. He used to always "joke" with me by bugging me about my weight, or being single or whatever else he could find. It made me feel really bad and angry that a family member would treat me this way. After some other issues in his life, he started councelling.
We all started discovering that a lot of his actions were based in his own low self esteem. He put me down in an attempt to elevate himself and to control me. Once he realized this and began to apologize, we started getting along better.
Now, I offer that in hopes of helping you understand why he may be acting this way and to also let you know it is his problem to change. You cannot change his actions - only how you react to them.
2007-02-09 09:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by teel2624 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, I don't know his side of the story, but he sounds like a jerk.
I am an only child, so I can't relate to what you are going though.
Perhaps, email him again and ask him to go to lunch.
Go to lunch, forget the past and try to get on with the future with a new relationship. When it comes to him, try not to have such an intimate relationship at first. Just do the small talk and stay in safe waters as not to bring up any of your past troubles. Then as time goes on, maybe you can go back to the issues that have been bothering you and he won't think you are manipulative.
2007-02-09 09:18:36 · answer #2 · answered by Monica T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some are and a few are no longer. I actually have a twin sister (we are great close) and that i've got somewhat sister (who I even have by no potential rather gotten alongside with). i think of that our adolescence contraptions the tone for our kinfolk with our siblings and how we see our mum and dad work together with our siblings. that is not any longer worry-free to recover from adolescence hurts on occasion, even nonetheless we've grown out of the habit that led to them, In a nutshell, i might say that the situation with person siblings is located out and can in many circumstances be replaced if the two factors are keen. on the different hand - merely given which you're appropriate does no longer advise you're comparable or which you would be able to rather relate to a minimum of one yet another. There are family members who will by no potential get alongside and we could bear in concepts that they are there, then, for a various reason. consistent with probability to grant us perception into how different's stay or to attempt our own staying power and help it to advance better. Peace!
2016-11-03 00:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hun.... I can relate to you in SOO many ways!! My brother & I were raised the same. Now, he's on his second trip over seas in the Army 82nd Airborne. I'm scared I'll never see him again and our sibling rivalry is still unresolved. However, I believe our differences stemed from our childhood. Our mother was/is a horrible person and is still married to a HORRIBLE man who did unthinkable things to us (get it?) I think he still hasn't dealt with it. A lot of men have extreme difficulties expressing their troubles with someone else, especially a sibling. It totally sucks, but sometimes you have to let things go. You've done your part & tried to mend the past, and he's still accepting it. Many people will tell you that siblings will 'outgrow sibling rivalry'. Unfortunately, that's not always true. I wish you the best of luck in the future...
Sorry I wasn't able to give you a clear-cut answer.
2007-02-09 09:14:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes brothers and sisters take our feelings for granted.They feel we should over look what they say and do,because we know they love us.Your brother is just upset right now email him back,and tell him your sorry and maybe we can go out for lunch on him, ha, ha.
2007-02-09 09:38:56 · answer #5 · answered by sharon j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hes the being an ASSS if he can't learn to respect you. Don't stand for it. Fight Fire with Water and end it. if it comes to a point where it won't stop then fight fire with fire. don't stand there and let him get away with it. he needs to mature and understand the meaning of respect. so he won't kisss up then make him responsible for his actions. he need to learn you don't mess around with people.
2007-02-09 09:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont really know what to tell you...this is really a question u should be asking to ur brother rather than the world...
2007-02-09 09:13:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋