I am a grown women with grown children and one grandchild. My mother is always being negative about everything i do, like i clean my house to much, or spend money on wrong things. She recently started asking If i made my daughters car payment. I found out that she wanted to know so she can change her will. she says she has created a monster in me. alot more, but just like the previous writer i am drained. i am talking to her at all because if has affected me emotionally and physically. and i cant take it anymore. i say she can talk to my younger sister instead of me. what do you think?
2007-02-09 08:42:19 · 6 answers · asked by shelly92555 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She could write me out of the will, I wouldn't care, I'd tell her to stop asking me questions that are none of her business and I'd hang up on her if she was inappropriate.
2007-02-09 08:49:10 · answer #1 · answered by Resurrected Lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if your mother creates a negative and abusive influence in your life, you have the right - and the duty to yourself - to cease contact with her. You don't have to talk to her just because she's family - her claim over you ends when she abuses the relationship between you.
Let her know, calmly but firmly, that her words and her behavior is unkind, and you cannot accept it in your life any longer, and that you prefer to end contact with her. Remind her that if she ever wishes to renew the relationship, you will be happy to try again, but not if she continues her current attitude towards you.
Then take her as an example of how NOT to be a mother, and focus on being a postive influence on your children.
2007-02-09 16:55:13 · answer #2 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An abuser always needs a victim to dominate over and control. If you stop being a victim and start standing up to your mom she can't abuse you. You are old enough now to not tolerate this crap - even if she is your mom. The next time she starts harping about something tell her you have to go and do some important work and hang up. She'll get the message, and if she doesn't you won't have to listen to the crap.
2007-02-09 16:52:22 · answer #3 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
next time you are on the phone with her and she gets negative, give her some 'parental' advice - 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'... this should snap her back into reality!
also- caller id- don't answer the phone! she'll get the hint when you are not her usual punching bag.
2007-02-09 17:11:01 · answer #4 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her i will talk to you when you show some respect until then dont bother to call and just hang up the phone.
2007-02-09 17:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get a new unlisted number and make sure she never finds out what it is.
2007-02-09 17:23:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋