He was cheating?

Question

Even though he denied it 4 months ago, I caught him(my fiance) setting up a threesome with 2 other girls for this Saturday..........I feel like such an idiot for believing him the first time........
I am heart broken.I feel so betrayed....but even though he did this to me again! I still love him so much........ why can't I hate him..........?

Answer 1

Because what you felt for him was love. Hard to hate someone who you were deeply in love with.

Answer 2

Because isnt an emotion that turns off and on, if it was it would make life so much easier. Try to separate your love for whats best for you. If this is the first time or third truth is he cheated and cant be trusted. If you "forgive" him he will do it again. As far as hating him you will go throw stages your still at the hurt feelings stage then will come the why what did or didnt i do, then will come fear... fear you might kill him. I'd break off with him not answer calls, emails, letters, etc. If you can it might be a good time to take a couple days or weeks to visit family. The longer you sit at home the longer it takes to get over the hurt of what HE DID. You cant control what he does but you can control what you do. IF you take him back mark my words he will do it again and i dont care how much he says he wont and he loves you, its all been said before. You will end up in a divorced marriage probably because of a cheating husband. Its easier to take the trash to the road now and kick it to the curb then later when their are bills, children, etc involed.

Answer 3

You do so because one of these reasons...
1. You have no self-esteem
2. You like the drama

These are the only 2 times that he has been caught cheating. There have been countless other times. He prefers "relations" with multiple people. There is nothing that you could have done to prevent this, and there is nothing that you could possibly do to get him to stop in the future. Sure it might be fine for a couple of months, maybe a year but he will cheat on you again.

You will get back together with him because even though the truth is right here in black in white on the screen in front of you, you will let your emotions rule your actions. You will probably marry the guy and inevitably end up getting a divorce. Hopefully you won't have kids and won't catch anything from him.

Think to yourself, isn't it the "starting over" that makes you the most upset?

Answer 4

Wow i feel you on this situation. Love can be a *****! Sorry for a saying but thats the way it is. You will eventually stop loving him because all the pain and betrayal that you experienced while you was with him is going to kill all the love. Give it some time. It doenst have to turn into hate though i am just letting you know right now. They say from love to hate is one step, so is vise versa situation, but it doenst have to be that way. Dont forgive him though. I mean look at it like that......HE WAS YOUR FIANCE.....he actually proposed to you and yall not even married and he already cheating on you with not one but two girls. Seems like you got yourself a one hella immature young boy as a fiance who still didnt enjoy himself when he was younger and single. And now he feels like he need to catch up before he tie the knot. F that! Let him take care of his secret dream with these 2 other girls. Lets hope his stuff fall off and lets hope you can go by that issue very painless, easy and fast. You are going to be just fine. Next time dont trust unconditionally and if you so have to do it then check your man once in a while. Good luck!

Answer 5

You deserve better and given your answer to my question (the fist thing), obviously have the wit and certainly the looks (if the picture can be believed) to find someone that will give you what you want (this may also be a reference to your reply).
Come home for a while - hook up with someone new. Kick him (the ex or nearly ex) into touch.
Do you like 6'3", mixed race, with manners, taste... (joke).
Seriously, be good to yourself.
Don't try to hate - it is obviously not something that you feel, but at the same time, do not except anything less than you want. Why should you (or anyone else)?

Answer 6

Because you yourself aren't ready for marriage.

You don't love yourself enough to refuse becoming your fiance's personal doormat.

You are the BEST EXAMPLE of how the world is supposed to treat you.

If you say to your man, "It's not right, but it's okay if you set up your menage a trois", then you have set the example of how you want to be treated.

Please don't embrace the victim role.

You own your life and your freedom.

Don't let any WOMAN or MAN trample on it because they believe their folly is more important than YOU!

He has dropped the gauntlet.

Now either pick it up and slap him in the face or bend over and allow him to carve you a new anus.

There is no middle ground and the choice is yours.

Answer 7

My boyfriend has cheated 2-3 times. A woman's intuition is a very powerful thing. Although my boyfriend and I are still together to this day, it took a lot of repairing and I still don't trust him completely.

If he tells you that he doesn't want you anymore, then forget it. But obviously you mean a lot to him since you are engaged. I know it hurts. Its the worst feeling in the world. But look at the bright side, everything can be repaired with a certain amount of love.

Good luck doll.

Let me know if you need anything else.
Feel free to email me.

Answer 8

You can't hate him, because you love him. That's all there is to it. You, by the way, are NOT an idiot for believing someone your in love with. You SHOULD be believing him, (until now of course). Personally, your also way too hot to be worrying about a guy that will go out and cheat/lie to you. Let the poor excuse for a human go, and move on whenever you feel it's possible.


Good luck =)

Answer 9

Emotional distress serves a purpose similar to physical pain in our lives. It teaches us very clearly about the kinds of things we don't want to expose ourselves to. If I love my car and driving it carelessly causes me an injury it won't teach me to love the car any less but I will have learned a valuable lesson about how I interact with it.

That's a crappy analogy I know, and I don't mean to belittle your pain. All I am saying is that your failure to feel malice toward this guy is not something to be ashamed of. In fact, in a world where people tend to be disposable I would strongly suggest that your altruism makes you special. From that perspective I would offer you three instances of encouragement.

First... Learn from the pain. Take steps to protect yourself from interactions with this individual that may cause repeat injury.

Second... Live through the pain. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to rush through getting over it. You don't really get to decide when that happens (hell I was remarried three years before I was really over my first wife). To use another bad analogy, you wouldn't go back to work on Monday if you broke your leg this weekend. Don't rush yourself back into the singles scene until you've had time to put yourself back together. You are the only one who matters during the uncomfortable days and weeks ahead.

Finally... Try not to let this @sshole change who you are. You're charitable disposition makes you a beautiful soul that he was clearly not deserving of. Somewhere out there right now is a man who you are meant to be with. He will worship the water you walk on. He will be a trustworthy and lifelong friend. It would be a complete disservice to him if your inner beauty is corrupted by the thoughtless actions of someone who wasn't man enough to cherish you when he had the chance.

Answer 10

I understand how you're feeling because this past summer a guy who i had completely fallen for began cheating on me after only a month. Then to my surprise, I honestly believe i found the one who im supposed to be with the rest of my life, and we've been together for 8 months now. Just remember, cheaters don't change and it really is best to move on because when you do you will likely find a guy who's a million times better

Answer 11

You are the perfect girl for a cheating man. You're cute (looking at your picture), and you come back every time he cheats. He will only get worse.

Think of it this way. What if he beats you. You know the old "but he really loves me" answer? If you find that appalling then analyze what is so different in the type of abuse he is putting you through now.

Dump him before he gets someone else pregnant or gives you an STD.