my bf and I have been known each other for 6 years and have a son together and something happened to me when I was little about first-fouth grade that I had forgotten all about but my Mom had asked it and now i'm remembering things I want to forget she wanted to ask me so I answerd her my friend next door her dad molstated me and I have never told anyone I forgot about it I just told my mom because she asked but I had forot all about it but those memoires some are here I'm 31 now so but i 'm afraid to tell my bf about this he willl never look at me the same i know what to do help?
2007-02-09 08:09:51 · 16 answers · asked by kutiepye28 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What happened to you was never your fault. You never did anything wrong. Hopefully your boyfriend is caring and understanding enough to realize this. Hopefully he will be supportive and loving and will be a big help in your healing process.
Please seek a counselor. There are many services offered that are free or very low cost. Talking with a professional would really help you sort out your feelings.
If you are nervous about telling him, maybe write him a letter and give it to him. That way he can absorb anything you want to say to him and he won't be so reactionary.
You sound like a really sensitive, kind person so I bet he is also.
Good luck and I am really sorry for the abuse you suffered. If possible, maybe contact an atty. about pressing charges if there is not a limit on the time from when it happened. That man deserves to be punished and other children should be protected from him.
2007-02-09 08:16:27 · answer #1 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been together six years, you have a son together, and you are not married? No wonder you think his feelings will change if you tell him. He's not very committed to you in the first place and it sounds as if you are unsure of his love. It sounds like there are problems regardless of this issue. You need to improve your self esteem. It's hard, but you need to do it. When you do you will never be afraid to tell him anything.
2007-02-09 08:29:47 · answer #2 · answered by everythinguknowiswrong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind word: I am very sorry for the position that an awful man has put you in while pursuing his own sick pleasure.
Advice: I feel that you should tell your boyfriend about it. He might think of you differently, but if he truely loves you, it will be a good thing. Hopefully, the man you had a child with will express nothing but sympathy for your pain.
2007-02-09 08:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by DonSoze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really cares about you then he will be understanding.
This is something that occurred a very long time a go and was of no fault of yours.
Most importantly you need to talk through this and sort it out. And you need the support of loved ones while you do it.
2007-02-09 08:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by spamovision 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is any kind of boyfriend at all, he will listen and love you just as much if not more than he ever did. If he doesn't look at you the same, then he's a piece of ****, and you deserve better. You cannot help what happened to you then. It's not like you asked for it.
2007-02-09 08:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by precious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your worried about your bf looking at you like your dirty. this will not happen, he will look at you sadly like you've lived a very UN fairy tale life. then he might get upset or even angry at he man that did this to you. he will look at you the same, with longing in his eyes and love in his heart. but if you don't tell him there will always be something between you and doubt my come into your bfs mind,tell him. he will always love you and you should really confront a doctor like a shrink and get somethings off your chest for your sake you don't want to carry that type of baggage with you for your whole life. but your bf will look at you the same and even more so because you shared with him something you've never shared with anyone else.
2007-02-09 08:18:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is up to you but unless your alone and personal time changes with your boyfriend maybe you should let him know and explain that your mind had blocked off the awful incident until your mom had asked you about it.
Would probably help to talk about it though rather than keeping it all in.
2007-02-09 08:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Sabre♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok Hun 1st in spite of you stepping into the incorrect crowd that is not any longer your fault you have been raped!! needless to say the region you have been in by way of crowd and doing drugs did positioned you in that subject yet that's executed! you are able to opt to have an abortion in spite of your mom, and if she's a real Christian such as you're saying she is shouldn't she have forgiven you on your blunders and assist you via this undesirable ordeal you have been via? that is alright to evangelise being Christian to no longer abort the being pregnant yet she's no longer being a Christian in any incorrect way! individually i does no longer save the newborn that has got here about by way of rape, even nonetheless its no longer as they are asserting the newborn's fault yet as yet that is not any longer a individual and in case you do save it i'm surprisingly specific you and your loved ones could have an extremely no longer worry-free time bonding and loving the baby, in case you be certain that an abortion isn't for you the way approximately adoption?? yet you may communicate to a expert no longer your very unsupportive, unChristian family members, good luck and make the wonderful selection for You no one else.
2016-11-03 00:19:11 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to let God and let go.
You are bigger than your molestation. You are bigger than the memories. You are bigger than your molester. You are bigger than the embarrassment. You are bigger than the pain. You are bigger than the shame.
You have a beautiful child that needs all of you and giving power to a weak $%^ pedophile is not in the best interest of your family.
What do you really expect your boyfriend to do? He can't turn back the hands of time but once you muster up the courage and strength to say goodbye to yesterday, you will be in a better place to focus on the beauty that lies ahead.
2007-02-09 08:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by DaMan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to you was not your fault. There should be no reason for your boyfriend to feel awkward about it. If he does then obviously he's just a dumbass or he doesn't know how to handle it. If you don't want to bring it up then don't, it's your decision but if you trust him enough to tell him, that means a lot as well.
2007-02-09 08:14:11 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋