My wife is recovering from surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It is my childrens weekend to spend with me. Their mother was sick , flu like, earlier this week as well as my daughter. My oldest son is currently ill and will not be coming. My wife is concerned that if my daughter and other 2 sons come they will bring the flu. They have no symtoms and are not sick in anyway. I'm irritated at canceling my weekend with them on the off chance that they might bring the flu. Shes irritated that its even a question with me about them coming down. What do you think ?
2007-02-09 07:59:01 · 11 answers · asked by EGOman 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She had extensive female surgery. She feels horrible and is terrified to get sick on top of the surgery. Thought about the hotel, but cost prohibative at the moment. I don't blame her for not wanting to get sick , I just feel shes being too paranoid about it.
2007-02-09 08:21:34 · update #1
Their sick mother would probably appreciate the break - imagien having four kids to look after and being ill yourself. You should look after your own children.
But then again, your wife is probably not well and doesn't want the flu. Can't say I blame her.
Why don't you phone your ex-wife and grovel - explain the situation. Of course, if she doesn't care for your new wife, she won't give a damn.
I'd book into an hotel with the kids.
2007-02-09 08:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you both have your valid points.
Is it possible for you to pick up the kids and have a weekend in some fun alternate place? (it will probably be only 1 night anyway, and they may like the idea). Your wife could rest at home and feel safer this way.
Another solution could be to bring the kids home, but to take them out during the day to a museum or some place that they enjoy, so that they spend the least time inside of the house and your wife can recover at ease.
If your wife doesn't feel confortable with these alternatives, due to her situation, I think you should swich the weekend and see the kids when there is not risk of infection. Keep in mind that you could catch the virus and give it to your wife. A person who has gone through major surgery is very vulnerable during recovery and you should consider this special circumstance.
2007-02-09 09:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by wildrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can see both sides here. You hate to give up a weekend with your kids, on a chance they might get sick. But if they are around someone sick or get sick they will infect anyone around them. Any other time I 'd say thats life, but since your wife is recovering from surgery, she probably don't need to be around anyone sick or that has been exposed to anything recently.We adults take longer to heal than kids.Your wife might be hurt and think you should be more considerate of her well being. I have had similar things happen and although our children should always come first, we need to be considerate of our spouse. Maybe you could switch weekends around so you don't miss out and your wife has more time to recover. Your kids will get over the flu but being inconsiderate to your wife is a hurt that may never go away.Being considerate to each others feelings is one of the basics of a good relationship. Good Luck!
2007-02-09 08:38:00 · answer #3 · answered by Broadgonebiker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you trade weekends? What kind of surgery and is the wound healed up? What does the flu have to do with the surgery? Neither or both are unreasonable, bring all issues into the light.
EDIT: Nothing wrong with a little paranoia, thats what protects us. I think you should trade weekends. Good luck
2007-02-09 08:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by chaa107 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to cause problems for some reason. Wait a week to see them, what's the big deal. I'd say they will bring the flu possibly, but I don't think that is the real issue. Suck it up and quit fighting over the kids, be a man a show your kids something other than contention. It's not about you or her. You are just wanting to prove you are right for some reason. Who cares who is right. Just keep the peace for the kids sake.
2007-02-09 08:12:07 · answer #5 · answered by Miss Momma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems like she's just looking out for your household, by not sending the possibly contagious kids. Plus, your wife is vulnerable, and unable to help you as much as she would if she weren't recovering from surgery. I know she knows how much you want to see them, but she's just looking out for every body here. What if they aren't showing symptoms, but are contagious? And you get sick? I would just go with it. See them next time. You know what? Ask her if you can stop by one day through the weekend, that way you still can see them, even if isn't as long as you want or expected. Some time is better then none at all!
2007-02-09 08:11:20 · answer #6 · answered by shondak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U r at fault dont even entertain the thought of bringing sick children around while your wife is in that state. Just because they arent showing symptoms doesnt mean they r not a carrier of the flu. Dont go there.
2007-02-09 09:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand her position.... to an extent. However, in my relationship the kids come first 100% of the time, not 99%. So they'd still come over.
If you choose to have them come, just communicate really well. Let them know your wife is sick, explain she'll be resting alone most of the weekend. If they're little, make a game of the situation, encouraging them to cover their mouths, wash their hands, etc (to not spread germs). Try to keep the kids occupied out of the house, out back, or at the park/mall. These tactics should help prevent your wife from catching the flu.
Good luck!
2007-02-09 11:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What kind of surgery? I am a step-mother also...I think that it is unfair to even ask you to do that...they are your kids after all... and all kids are bound to get sick sooner or later...2 of our 4 kids have been sick on and off for 2 weeks and they still come over from their mom's...what does it matter? This is part of being a parent..sick kids...I would still let them come over and she will just have to get over it
2007-02-09 08:05:14 · answer #9 · answered by Dawn D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think they should come it seems like you dont really see them unless they come down another time when they are better which i dont think the mother will aporve of it so i think they can come and you can take care of them
2007-02-09 08:04:52 · answer #10 · answered by AnAlUp3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋