We are planning on lending my mother money for moving however, I have made my husband mad because we wanted to use the money to move also. What can I do? Should I keep the money or lend it. If I do keep the money what can I tell my mom?
2007-02-09 07:02:35 · 21 answers · asked by raemom05 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I talked to my mother and she put a huge guilt trip on me. She wants to move to have a bigger place for her and her new boyfriend. We want to move to be closer to work, family, and hospitals, ect. Thank you all for your answers. P.S. I do have a two year old daughter too.
2007-02-09 11:41:36 · update #1
Your first loyalty is to your husband now, not your Mom. You can offer to try and help her, after you've helped yourselves. She's had a lifetime to get herself set and on her own. You don't hurt your family, to help another family member.
2007-02-09 07:07:44 · answer #1 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it would depend on a couple of things. Your Mother is moving from where to where. From one house to a better house, NO. From a home that she is selling to a nursing home, ??. And what are your moving circumstances? How are you both situated financially??? Often loans tend to become gifts.
Also, are you folks getting some friends and a bunch of pick up trucks or renting a uhaul or something and moving yourselves. Or are you doing the big move that costs thousands.
The more the needle points to bigger and better, and costly moving the more I say let each pay for their own. Part of selling and moving is paying for the selling and relocation.
I have moved many times and I never borrowed money to move. It was always kind of like a party with friends to help load and unload. I paid for the costs, food, and beverages of choice. A good time was had by all.
2007-02-09 15:16:13 · answer #2 · answered by RobertB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on 1. if you or your mother desperately need to move, and 2. if you can trust your mother to pay it back shortly. Maybe you could meet in the middle and lend her a certain percentage of the money and explain you too need money to move and this is all you can spare for her. Also explain to your husband that he should be patient because yout mum is important and you care for her well being
2007-02-09 15:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by thinkin2myself 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a good way to see it 'has your mom been there for you when you needed something' I think that you should lend your mom money and ask her if see can make payments back to you... Ask your husband if he gets mad if he would help his mother if she was in a situation like that.... I think that he would really understand then...
2007-02-09 15:06:40 · answer #4 · answered by babyqball176 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your mom the truth. You and your husband worked for it and if it was something you both were saving for than it's not fair to your husband to give it to your mother. Now if your mother is in trouble and needs to move due to medical or abusive reasons than I'm sure hubby will understand, or get over it soon.
2007-02-09 15:28:52 · answer #5 · answered by FANNY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember it is not just YOUR money but your Husbands also. He needs to have a say so in this matter. Let your Mom bother the money, if her need is stronger than yours, if not explain to her that right now all you and he have is the money yall were planning on moving with yourself.
2007-02-09 15:11:57 · answer #6 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You live with your husband, not with your mother.
Your own family comes first. She should understand
that as a wife and mother herself. Have her talk to
your other siblings (if any).
Maybe if you pool together - share the van or trailer
you could get it done together. That is of course if you
live in the same town and are fairly organized to move in
one fatal swoop.
2007-02-09 15:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by sagegranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really would think it depends on the situation.....
Does your mom have to move? If not she would just have to stay put
Can she financially take care of herself???
If so your husband wishes should come first.......
and you should just tell you mom you love her but you don't have the extra money to help her out right now
2007-02-09 15:09:25 · answer #8 · answered by dreamingone39 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when you say we are planning...and then u said your husband is mad did u forget to tell him that u were goin to lend her money?..and if it was for you to move then why would u offer the money that ur husband has probaly been saving
2007-02-09 15:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by Krystina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should keep the money for you & your husband. If your Mom needs to move also, you can work part-time or somethin to help her out.
2007-02-09 15:05:57 · answer #10 · answered by Happy2BaHippie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋