do you think it's wright that I should not be invited to my daughters wedding for not speaking up?

Question

have not seen or spoken to my daughter in three and a half years and she shows up one day and says she is getting married and asks if I would help pay for the wedding,meantime she hasn't seen anyone else from my side of the family also in the past 3 and a half years,so her grandmother writes her a e-mail after finally getting her address after all these years telling her that its not rite of her to just show up one day and expect me to pay for a wedding,well that didn't set well with the ex-wife and now all hell is broken out ,so my daughters hubby to be e-mails me and says that I and my mother are not invited to the wedding saying that it will cause to much stress but everyone else in the family is invited and I'm not the one that wrote or spoke up about all this and Im the one thats getting the shaft by not being invited to my own daughters wedding

Answer 1

that isn't right. don't pay for the wedding.

Answer 2

Wow! I am really speechless! Not invited to your daughters wedding? whoa! Okay, I had my little moment and I am better now. Okay, sorry. I think that you should make contact with her boy friend. Talk to him about it. Or you could go in contact with her boy friend's mom and/or dad and ask them if they will invite you to the wedding. Don't come right out right away and say, " Invite to my daughter's, which is your son's, wedding! " That would be a huge mistake. Then her boy friend's dad and/or mom could ask their son if they could invite some friends. He would ask who. Then the mom and/or dad would reply It is a surprise. It is very wrong that she didn't even talk to you for that many years. Three and a half years way too many! What you need to do even if you get invited to her wedding is write a letter to Dr. Phil! I am not kidding. Or send it to another guy. As a matter of fact send to as many councilor people as you can! This is a problem that could affect you your entire life! I don't mean this in a bad way or anything, but even if you don't get to go to the wedding you have to get this whole thing settled! If you can't go to her wedding, this will make you never possibly make contact with your daughter .: FOREVER :. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, take it from me, get help fast! Hope this helps! ; )

.: Jennifer :.

Answer 3

Sounds like they shafted you way before the wedding. "...have not seen or spoken to my daughter in three and a half years..."
Seems like you were already written out of their life until they wanted your money.

Two questions:
1. Will they shaft you again after they use you for the money?
2. Will paying for the wedding get you back on good terms with your family?

Either way, you should congratulate them, and express your desires honestly. If you love her/them, offer what you can, be it support or money. If they slap you down, then you pretty much already knew where you stood with them for the last 3 1/2 years anyway.

Answer 4

I don't think it's RIGHT that she asked you to pay for the wedding, and then isn't planning to invite you. However, I don't know what kind of a parent you are to let 3 1/2 YEARS go by without seeing or speaking to one of your children, I don't think I could go 3 1/2 DAYS without checking in with my kids to make sure all was going well with them. Obviously you and your daughter have some pretty serious issues to resolve. I would worry about that, and not about the wedding at this point.

Answer 5

Well, I'm more interested in why you haven't spoken to your daughter in 3 1/2 years, but...

Her wedding = her day

I say put the amount of $ towards the wedding that you believe she/they deserve. Now that's up to you whether or not that is nothing, or half the bill. After speaking, if you're still not invited, pay nothing and don't attend.

I can't imagine not being in contact with my children for that long.

At the very least send a gift.

PS: this is your kid and not your mommy's. Stand up.

Answer 6

Hello

First of sorry to hear that.

Well I thinks no family member shouldn't go so long not speaking to each other. but it happens.

For your Daugther to show up a day before her wedding and ask you to pay for the wedding is rude. First she should have call you way before the day on have a dinner or a gathering to introduce her fiance or your son-in-law to you.

And then she should ask you if you would like to help her financal ly for her wedding.

And for the son-in-law to email not cal butl email you and said your and your mother is not invited that show no respect to you.

Honey she is your daughter they shouldn't have not invite you to the wedding you've all right to be there. this is the biggest day of her life and you deserved to be there.

I cann't really tell you what to do but I can advise you to just let it go. Email your daughter and set things straight and if she says no I don't want you there. it will be sad but you can tell your self that you tried.

Thanks
Rosina

Answer 7

Firstly you don't say why you haven't spoken to your daughter for over 3 years. Invite your daughter over for a meal to try and build bridges between yourselves. Discuss with her problems you may have with your ex wife and see if you can come to some agreement to make things easier for your daugher. She shouldn't have to choose between parents because you two cannot be civil to one another. The most important thing at the moment, regardless of the impending wedding is to get back on talking terms with your daughter and become part of her life once again, but you will probably have to do some hard work to make this work. I couldn't imagine never speaking to my daughters, so good luck with this.

Answer 8

The fact that you allowed 3 and a half years to go by without being in touch with your daughter speaks little for you. Let some dust settle, then speak to your daughter again about how you want the chance to be at the wedding. Also - tell your mother to butt out - she raised you and now you're a big boy and you will handle your own problems without her jumping in to make things worse.

Answer 9

i no how you feel,my daughter and i havent spoken in a long time either.some times we just have to let our kids grow up and do their own thing,i also have a son who i dont see either,i never knew what i did to make my children hate me so much.it all started when i divorced my sons father when he was 14,we really never spoke much after that.and me and my daughter havnt really been close since she was 15.i made a mistake when my daughter was a teen and i became her friend and not her mother,i was young my self and really went wild,we partied and hung around the wrong people,and now 15 years later she has never let me forget it.what i thought was fun at the time,turned into a nightmare years later,when she blamed me for all her adult troubles.as far as you paying for the wedding,i would tell her to go back where she came from and leave you alone.good luck to ya.

Answer 10

Well, I think it is rude of them to ask you to pay for the wedding after you haven't seen your daughter in three and a half years.

I'm curious as to why you two haven't talked in 3 1/2 years.

You should have a heart to heart with your daughter, as well as the groom. It was rude of them to not invite you because you wouldn't pay for the wedding.

And your mom should NOT have sent that email, no matter how true it was. This is between YOU and your DAUGHTER, she should have stayed out of it.

Answer 11

If you care...ask your daughter for a sit downa nd clear the air or at least express yourself. Im not gon get too deep with you but Im thinking there is a reason why you and your daughter havent seen or spoken to each other in 3 years. Express yourself and leave it up to her to decide what she wants to do. OH, I would in NO way pay for even a portion of the wedding.