ive been out of the house since dec. 5th. my x-bf has a new g/f. hes 26 shes 17. he doesnt see out kids on a regular basis and he does not pay me any money to help support them. i have a lawyer now. but i am wondering should i have the lawyer fight for everother weekend visits or let my x come to me and ask me if he can see them? he also has changed his cell number and will not give it to me, even for the kids. i am at a loss....i want him back! i still love him with all my heart! i know that theres something going on with him other then the new girl, but i cant figure it out! the whole 7 yrs we was together, hes never been this way to me or the kids! i need some advice! i know i should move on, but its hard to when theres 2 kids involved and we had 7 yrs. (kids are ages 3 & 4) i guess im looking for advice for the whole situation, not just the money for the kids issue. thanks!!
2007-02-09 06:37:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The best advice that I can give you is to be strong. Sometime we get weak when we go through things, for the kids sake keep your head up and do what you need to do. Kids come first love comes later. Okay. You can best believe hes not thinking about you right about now. Stay strong and focused and always if it gets to where you really feel like you cant take anymore......pray. Good Luck
2007-02-09 06:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by reddchilds 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get over this guy and don't even think about manipulating the visitation arrangement with your kids to try to get him back or force him to give you his number/call you. Your kids deserve better than to be put in the middle of all this.
He made his choice. It sucks that he would walk out on you and the kids like that, but if after 7 years and 2 kids you guys never got married and made the relationship "permanent," then this was probably inevitable.
You deserve better. I know you probably don't feel like there is anyone better than him at the moment, but you will eventually learn that there are guys out there that will commit themselves to you and your children the way you deserve.
Work with your lawyer, get the child support set up so it is deducted straight from his paycheck and you don't have to hassle with trying to get him to send you money. Establish a visitation schedule and stick to it. Your kids need as much stability as they can get and a regular schedule with you and their dad will help them adjust. Never, ever use your children to get back at him, no matter what he does. Always put your children first and you will all get through this, it just takes time.
2007-02-09 06:47:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I'm so sorry. But, I hate to say that if he's avoiding you so to say, you might wanna give it up. My bf of 7 years just cheated on me and we split and I know I'm better off without him. But, I know exactly how you feel about how hard it is. 7 years is a long time and it's gonna take some time to heal.
I think you need a clean break, have the lawyer do the every other weekend thing.
I guess I don't really know what else to say because I'm kinda in a situation myself.
Hang in there!
2007-02-09 06:44:45 · answer #3 · answered by Mikala M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, im sorry.
you know that you need to move on but you wont until you are ready. losing somone after 7 years is like losing an arm or somthing, i get it. but if he was able to move on so quickly, how do you know thaere wasnt somthing going on between them while thw two of you were together? thats irrelevant, my point is that love and oss is a part of life. there are so many great people out there, dont llimit yourself to one. just think, you can date around, and when you fid someone you really like, youll get to experience the "new love" feelings again. the infatuation, lookfoward to seeing them, smileing everytime you hear thier voice, the feelings that you will experience will be incredible, and it will make you feel young again. trust me, you'll be ok. as far as the kids go, you need to be both parents for them. alow your ex every-other weekend and if there is somthing special goin on during the week, let him come get them so they can be involved. As far as he goes, hes shady and you need to just let him be. he changed his number, got a new girl, and hes clearly gotten over you. its your turn to show him that you dont need him. be strong and tell yourself that like all things, this too shall pass.
2007-02-09 06:48:19 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him. Making like to somebody for the 1st time is something this is amazingly specific that purely takes place as quickly as on your life. you may purely have intercourse once you're honestly waiting and you be attentive to which you like the guy and you experience which you're making the wonderful selection. you may no longer be compelled into having intercourse because of the fact your boyfriend needs to. while you're saving your self for marriage then this is honestly advantageous and you may tell him that. What ever your reasons are they are own and you may tell him and he could comprehend them. you may take a seat with him and characteristic an outstanding communication with him and relay your thoughts to him and take it from there. If he does not comprehend your reasons then a minimum of you would be attentive to how he feels. good luck to you and don't supply in to stress.
2016-11-03 00:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids need their real father to be around as much as possible, so go for that. Plus you need to get married. This is the problems that it causes. But your main concern are the kids, do what's best for them which is seeing their real father.
2007-02-09 06:41:40 · answer #6 · answered by yaabro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋