How to forget all the people from my past?

Question

who hurt me and made me feel worthless? These are former friends, acquaintances, some family members, and my son's father. I'm not in contact with any of these people but I have deep emotional wounds as a result of what they did and said to me. I hate my body and myself. I feel like a loser. I am so sad and angry all the time. I am very bitter and resentful. I think of them EVERY DAY and I hate them.

This is really affecting all areas of my life. I lost some money and my job b/c I have become absent minded. I yell at my son sometimes even though he's 2. I don't go out. I'm afraid to make friends and date. I have nobody to talk to. I feel like an old woman but I'm only 25. Seriously, I think I might be losing my mind. Help!

Answer 1

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"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)

Answer 2

At this point, don't let your past friends/family interrupt your life. Let it go and take a big breath and say "I'm better and I won't be like them. I have my son and that makes me lucky"
Sometimes I feel just like you. I have aboutfive or six cousins, plus a aunt that I will never see in my LIFE TIME!. She claims she has a restraining order on us. Those are people that I will never ever EVER be able to see in my life.
When the years come, pass, and go away, the people who have meant the most to you seem to fade away. But, it always seems that the ones we love the most become our foes, that were once our friends.
In a couple of years, these people will realize how much you meant to them. Eventually they will want to see you again. What you need is to go somewhere that you can talk to someone else with the same kind of problem. .: DEPRESSION :. May be they will have a child that your kid can play with. What you could also do is find someone who will take care of your kid during the day for half day. Then you can't yell at him, and take the depression out on him. He is very young and needs a mother's love to grow. That's you!. Take him to places on the weekend so he can remember and cherish the moments he has with you. Because it seems the ones we always have loved so much seems to fade away faster then the others. If you want to talk to someone else about your problems, I would go and see a counicler about them. Get a stress ball to relieve some of the stress. There could be something that you have been meaning to tell someone that has also been giving a lot of stress. May be all you need to do is apoligize some how. .: Hope this helps! :. ; )

Answer 3

I have similar experiences in my past - I was the kid everybody bullied in school, so badly that I didn't speak for several years. I am now 26, but every day I feel the effects of things that were said and done to me years ago. I have a very hard time looking people in the eye, I do not know how to carry on conversations with most people, and I do not make friends easily. For several years I dealt with extreme feelings of rage, hate, and self-loathing, and even today I deal with obsessive-compulsive disorder which may stem from my childhood experiences. I am in constant struggle with my body image and feelings of being ugly.

Like you, I have a young son, who is the light of my life. More than anything else, he is what makes every day worth it. In your son, you have a wonderful treasure and you should enjoy every moment you have with him. I would suggest maybe getting involved in a group or online forum for mothers where you will have things in common, and maybe make new friends.

Also, a therapist or psychologist may be able to help you through these feelings of hate and resentment, and maybe prescribe an anti-depressant so that your days are easier.

Stress relievers help a lot. Go for a walk, read a book, watch your favorite movie, take a bath, play with your son, whatever helps.

Just remember, every minute you spend thinking about the people who have hurt you is a minute of YOUR life, wasted. Don't throw away even one more minute. Consider them not worthy of your time and thought, and start thinking about you, now. You are only 25, you have a lot of living to do.

Good luck!

Answer 4

You never can forget your past, but you can learn from it. Take the things that bothered you the most and try to do better with your own children. To truly find closure, you must make amends and realize how another person acts is a reflection of them, not you. What has helped me is to find out what happened to the the people that caused me pain in my past when they were growing up, and then it has given me empathy and understanding. Being a mother is really stressful, especially if you lack support. If possible you should seek counseling. If you can become a great parent, you will always have the love and support of your child. But you are going to have to practice self control. Try going to church. My church is very supportive and we all check on one another and help each other. I am LDS, but you could go to what ever church you want most are very helpful and supportive. I feel for you, but these problems don't last forever. My kids are almost all grown up now. Start a journal and only write down the positive things in your life.

Answer 5

i think u shud go c a psychiatrist or a counsler someone u can talk to and tell them all ur problems and they mite be able to help u at. i know its hard to forget some ppl that have a real bad effect on ur life but still TRY , ur only 25 don't waste ur life like that, there's so much more to c (good things). have somethin to look forward to. go away for a while or somethin. u need a change. and not every person is bad in this world, try to go out more and stuff make more friends. i really hope things go well for u . ALL th best in life. and remember u live only once , so why not live it the way u want it and enjoy it !!!!!!

Answer 6

Well talking to someone is a good thing, but if you are not ready for that you could try reading some books I can suggest a book called "Making Peace with your Past" by H. Norman Wright I read this book and it helped me thru getting over that I am 36 and my mother has never told me she loves me and never will. She is incapable of loving me and I want to be a good mom and she was ruining my life, I had to put an end to it. This book helped. I also read this book called "What Flavor is your Personality?" by Alan Hirsch,MD just to try to figure out more things about myself and understand more about me. I learned alot and found them both very interesting I have read several others but these are just 2 for now I recommend. I hope this helps, think positive and realize they are behind you and you are a better person without them and you need to prove that by showing them how good you can do for you and your son without them you are not worthless. Be a proud mom and raise your son to be proud! Good Luck!

Answer 7

well there is nothing you can really do seriously if you cant find it within your self to just let go and start looking to the future rather than the past no one can help you it sounds like you have some deep seeded issues here you have two options two paths if you will and your standing at the head of them right now you can either try to take this on on your own or you need professional help if you try it on your own you really need to get over the fear of going out and making new friends, people are like animales
or a group of dogs if you will what ever you status in the old pack that you ran with ( the kick around runt) wont be the same with the new group , lok at this way you get a chance to reinvent your self you arent who you where anymore with that group all of that means nothing when you set out to make a new group of freinds i have traveled all over the world and had to make new freinds again and again and again and everytime i was a little bit differant not me as a person but me as a person in a group if that makes any sence it also has a lot to do with how you carry your self when you met these new people if you project a sence of respect you'll get it , you have to remember these people know nothing about it you can be who ever you want to be i'd just say be honest if you want to keep them though and again you must just put it behind you before you can do anything there is nothing to be gained by holding on to this you give it power by not just letting go and you allow these people to hurt you by not letting go i know its easier said than done but it must be done if anything is to change.

Answer 8

You might not be able to forget what some people say to you, but you can forgive them for being stupid and mean. You have let unforgiveness rule your life. You say these people are in your past, but in a way they are still in your life but in a different way-through hatred and bitterness. You won't find peace of mind until you let it go. You are letting the people that hurt you decide your future. You are hurting more than they are by holding on to these feelings. It isn't hurting them one bit that you are full of hatred and bitterness towards them. You are not losing your mind. You are doing what a lot of people do when they get hurt. You are holding on to the feelings we all have when people put us down. They aren't worth it.

Answer 9

First things first, your son is your priority! He matters the most in your life. He is affected by your outcome. I think if you and your son do things together like go to the park, and join in his fun, get into the sand box, walk through a wooded trail, feed the ducks, go to Chuck E. Cheese, go roller skating, go play miniture golf, go bowling together! Hand out at the library and read him books.

Eventually you will meet someone in those areas that need a friend too.

At this point, don't let your past friends/family interrupt your life. Let it go and take a big breath and say "I'm better and I won't be like them. I have my son and that makes me lucky"

Just think.......... It could be worse!

or as I think ofter "This too shall pass"

Answer 10

It will be hard to do, but you need to seek therapy. You've made some positive moves by removing these people from your life. However you're still letting them run your life.
You need to talk this out with a trained therapist.

You are only harming yourself and your son by not getting help.

Answer 11

Go to a counselor who specializes in Rapid Eye Movement Desensitization Therapy (EMDR). It may help you release a traumatic event in your life.

Even if you cannot find one specializing in EMDR, therapy will benefit you greatly. Read positive books and listen to tapes that help relieve stress. Louise Hay books are very encouraging.

Also, rewrite your life. I took a great seminar offered by my former employer (link below). It really changed my life for the better. It's the Ownership Spirit Seminar. There is an audio version. It is really very good.

If you have any questions, email me.