I've been dating my boyfriend for a few years and we live together. I love him dearly but I'm not sure that I'm still in love with him. The passion is gone and I'm starting to fall for another guy. I was so young when we got together and I think I am just aching to be single for a while. He believes I am the girl for him and he says he doesn't know how he'd live without me. I don't make enough money to support myself so I don't know where I would live if we break up. I need all kinds of help. How do I know if breaking up with him is the right decision? If I'm falling for someone else, does that mean I am not in love with my boyfriend anymore? Maybe we've just been together for so long that those lust feelings have faded and that's normal. But why do I dream about being with someone else? HELP!!!
2007-02-09 05:54:52 · 5 answers · asked by Jelly B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is normal for young love.
Is renting a room at mom and dad's out of the question?
It sounds like you getting together with the other guy is an easy answer for a place to live. You sound like the guy you are with is definitely not right for you. So, you may have to go down a notch in what you expect in your living circumstances. Temporarily.
You wanted to play house and you did with someone you finally discovered isn't right for you.
That is normal. Many of us have made the same mistake.
But that is where one learns. Live on your own for a while.
Date this new interest but DO NOT move in with anyone unless you think marriage is a possibility.
You are smart and brave to stay on your own for a while. It shows you know who you are and gives you strength in the eyes of potential beaus.
Independence is really sexy. (Just don't let them use you and your income, EVER!)
Yes, breaking up is the right decision. Move on, but do it with class and style.
Tell him "You are great and I learned a lot about myself and us as a couple. I learned ... blah ... blah.....(you fill in the blanks as you know...) Then say "but I also learned that we aren't working as a couple. I am going to move on. You are a fabulous person and I hope you find someone that really fits with you."
Do not be swayed by his attempts at getting you back, even though it feels good egotistically. It is not fair to him to do that.
Take the high road and and find someone who has the qualities that you liked about your ex, as well as the qualities of the guy you would desire to fit in your future. (That means college education. Respect and love for his mom. These two qualities are fool-proof!)
A guy like that is REALLY sexy. Your libido will not suffer with someone who is striving to achieve their dreams. Nor will it suffer with someone who finds you sexy as he supports YOU achieving your dreams.
Good Luck!
2007-02-09 06:43:23 · answer #1 · answered by Avsky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel I was living with my ex for 3 years at the end of the relationship I just felt like I couldn't give him my all anymore and I was also looking to meet other people and also found myself wanting to be single.....eventually I moved out (which was the hardest thing I ever had to do) and rented a room from someone and I am actually happier than ever.....so I say do what you feel in your heart weither you think its right or not.....there is no right or wrong decision...do what makes you happy and you'll be fine. don't worry about him too much...he'll be fine. We all go thru hardships in life...he may feel like youre the only one for him but he might just meet someone who IS the love of his life.
2007-02-09 06:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by a1980 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't feel right any more then you are falling out of love or if things don't spark up you will fall out of love.....You need to read your question because you obviously sound like you are in denial. If you weren't you wouldn't of had the need to write your question... what you said tells me 100% you have fallen out of love. and you need reassurance from people,, You may always have a love for him because of what you both once had together but your not in-love with him any more and there is a big different between being in love with some one verses loving some one......
2007-02-09 06:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by daydreamer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think in this case a trial separation is needed. I know you guys live together and you can't afford to live on your own but a nice person like you surely has some friend they can count on or family
2007-02-09 06:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by northernguy40s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are also confused right now b/c you have your boyfriend. Would you be able to just move on without him if he really wasn't there.
2007-02-09 06:02:03 · answer #5 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋