So my best friend is getting married and she asked me how we could make her reception work.I guess her mans side of the family doesnt drink or smoke and they dont let people do it in front of them.But her family does both and all of their friends combined do .So what do you do?
2007-02-09 05:48:18 · 20 answers · asked by HLM 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What does the groom say? Obviously, he does not have a problem with people drinking and smoking(ugh!) in front of him since I'm sure he has met the family.
I say it is a non- smoking party, and maybe serve beer and wine only- no hard liquor. (this would be a cheaper option too, financially) If his family has a problem with that, then they have to grow up and deal with it. This is the bride and grooms wedding and they have to make ALL their guests happy.
2007-02-09 05:56:15 · answer #1 · answered by chickemama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We had the same issue when my husband and I were married. It wasn't that my parent's don't "let" people smoke or drink in front of them, but they don't appreciate the behavior that has happened at some of the other weddings that we've been at where alcohol was served. While, they didn't request that no alcohol was served with their generous contributions to the wedding budget, we felt that it would be disrespectful to serve alcohol knowing their feelings.
As a compromise, we chose a reception venue that also housed an open bar on the premises - just not in the same room, so that our guests that wanted to drink or smoke had that option. We felt that the bottom line was that the reception was to celebrate our marriage. They could smoke and drink any other day and we made it convenient enough that it was just down the hall.
Good Luck and I hope that helps!
2007-02-09 14:32:23 · answer #2 · answered by ST 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a reception hall that doesn't allow smoking - which most do no - so they will have to step outside. And I had my reception where there was no alcohol served, however, people could walk over to the cash bar in the next room and order a drink and bring it over.
Hopefully his parents would be okay with that. It would be no different than if they were in any restaurant.
That is the best comprimise that honors each families preferences, without making so the other side is unable to enjoy themselves.
2007-02-09 15:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, my brother is getting married soon. He, his bride, her family, and their friends all drink (I don't know about smoking). With the exception of another sister, his side of the family doesn't drink. However, we are all not so anal as to assume that other people can't do so simply because of our presense. I know for a fact he will be serving alcohol at his wedding, and I'm prepared to go and have a good time anyway--I just requested that they have non-alcoholic drinks (other than water) for his family. He told me not to worry, that I could have all the Diet Coke I needed!
If his family is going to be so uptight as to feel that no one should be drinking at this wedding, then that's honestly their problem. I doubt they're paying for it, so they really don't have much say in it here. If they want to leave in a huff, then the bride and groom are probably just going to have to let them leave in a huff. Unfortunately, some people are like that. I'm very glad that my family is not though.
BTW, regarding the smoking, most hotels/reception halls will not allow smoking inside anyway. Many people are allergic to cigarette smoke, especially in an enclosed space. Smoking should be done outdoors, away from those who do not smoke. That's polite.
2007-02-09 14:03:41 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO smoking inside, at all. Smokers allowed to smoke outside AWAY from entry doors so as not to asphyxiate anybody coming in or going out that may be allergic to smoke.
As for the alcohol. How bad are the ones that do? I mean, are they a mean drunk? Obnoxious in an embarrassing way?
If they are bad drunks, no alcohol. Have an after the reception party with alcohol. SURELY the drinkers can wait a few hours to have a few alcoholic drinks.
If they are ok while drinking and do it smartly, allow an open bar. Either they pay for their drinks, or not, and have only light alcohol, nothing heavy. Have the alcohol portion close down two hours before people need to start leaving (you don't want them driving drunk and having an accident!).
2007-02-09 18:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off, it's common courtesy to smoke outside, a little ways away from those who don't smoke. No one should be smoking near other people at all. Re. drinking - to all their own. Drinks should be offered; those who don't drink may choose to abstain, but they have no business forcing their choice down everyone else's throat. Most people enjoy having a drink or two - and the wedding is for EVERYONE, not just for one side of the family. It is a personal choice, and both options should be represented and respected.
2007-02-09 14:53:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, reception venues are split with the groom's family on one side and the bride's on the other. I'm sure the groom's family realize that they can't expect such a multitude of people to not drink and/or smoke at a social function. If they don't, they're downright unreasonable, and I have no suggestions if that's the case.
2007-02-09 15:04:09 · answer #7 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most venues these days will not allow smoking inside so the smoking should not be a real issue. You might have them consider using a venue with a separate bar area. My daughter got married at a golf course and the restaurant where we hosted the venue was non-smoking and had a separate bar. The guests could visit the bar and purchase a drink at their own cost. We provided tea, coffee, and soft drinks but no alcohol.
2007-02-09 14:00:59 · answer #8 · answered by debwils_4kids 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just because someone else don't drink or smoke doesn't mean they have any rights to stop someone else from doing it. I would just make sure the groom mention to them that there will be drinking so their not shocked but it's really no of their beeswax who drinks. I am assuming most of the smoking will take place outside the building anyways.
2007-02-09 14:17:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Schedule the reception somewhere, that doesn't allow smoking. As to the drinking, the non-drinkers will have to put up with the drinkers. Have the Groom remind his family,that it is the Bide's day, and that trouble makers will not be tolerated.
2007-02-09 13:52:43 · answer #10 · answered by Beau R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋