Everything else in the relationship is fine, although I don't like when she talks about previous relationships. She's always talking about those and I've asked her to please stop but she won't listen. I've known her for 5 months and we're getting married soon but it's a little troubling that there is no sex at all right now. I don't remember how long it's been. I'm attracted to her and she says she's attracted to me. I don't have much experience in relationships. In fact, she's my first girlfriend. She was cranky and sarcastic yesterday. She would always answer my questions with you should know this or you should know that. She is bipolar and maybe she had PMS. I don't know but this is the first time she lashed out like that. She is sweet and sensitive most of the time though. Please help.
2007-02-09 05:21:02 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Talk to her and ask her
2007-02-09 05:22:35 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez... 5 months? Baby boy, you need to wait. If you've only known her 5 months and there are things that you know of that bother you about her, just think about what you might find out later on. Everyone has bad habits and stuff that take a while to surface. Marriage is not something that you want to rush, especially if there's trouble already.
As for the cranky and sarcastic part... she's probably either feeling ignored or was offended by something that you did or said recently. You need to talk to her and ask her what's the matter - and when she says "nothing" don't take that to mean nothing's wrong, take that to mean "try harder, idiot". Trust me, that's what we all mean when we say that. try asking her if she's sure after she says that. if there's a long pause then something's bothering her.
Best of Luck
2007-02-09 05:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cool your jets. If she is always talking about other relationships, then she hasn't really moved on. Or... she's trying to make you jealous, and that should wave a flag. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity, and it will haunt you in more ways than one. This is your first relationship, and 5 months is not enough time when there is this much instability in that realtionship. You really need to stop and think about marriage, because people do not change after marriage. Is this who you want to come home to every day. Somedays she's the princess, some days she's the dragon. Can you deal with that sort of inconsistency?
2007-02-09 05:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is.....if there isn't any sex now, just wait until you get married. People get worse after they get married, not better. Getting married is not going to make her want to have sex with you more often. It is true that sex levels off after the first year or two of marriage. If there isn't any now, and you are miserable because of it and you two aren't even married yet...I can just imagine how miserable you will be when you marry her. You really need to think about it long and hard. I would come right out and ask her why she isn't interested in having sex. That doesn't seem normal if she is a woman in love. When my boyfriend and I are together thats all I want is to have him make love to me.
t
2007-02-09 05:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude! Is this a real question? You are getting married to someone with a mental illness and you just met 5 monthss ago? O. K. Well, just wait for her manic periods and she'll be like a little bunny rabbit, or you could try the standard- give more backrubs! Use more physical affection in your relationship and it may lead to more sex. Relationships are about growing together-or you couldld you just try and ask her why you don't have much sex?
2007-02-09 05:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by Snarf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the bigger problem here is that you've only known her for 5 months and you're getting married soon! Did I read that right?
Anyway, I would just try initiating sex, have a romantic night in and get her in the mood. That could help put the spice back in your sex life.
2007-02-09 05:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by sketch_r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are getting married to a bipolar woman you've only known five months and who is still obessessed with her ex-boyfriends? I would postpone the wedding and get some joint counseling. Often a woman does not want to have sex with a man because he is doing things to piss her off like not cleaning up after himself or taking her for granted. Ask her why she is angry with you. As for being sarcastic. Everyone has times they are sarcastic.
2007-02-09 05:31:56 · answer #7 · answered by kadel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to her about more than just having sex if you're getting married after only knowing her for 5 months but she has a bad attitiude towards you.
how can you not remeber how long its been if you've only known her for such a short time?
she can't have PMS all the time.
you know you don't have much experience in relationships but surely you can see she is treating you like sh!t?
you need a proper talk about the whole situation.
2007-02-09 05:25:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I want to say that you are not ready to marry this girl. I understand that it is your first relationship and you always feel strongly about your first real boyfriend/girlfriend and you will ALWAYS carry that person with you your whole life. But don't confuse those feelings with "this is the one" feelings. It is really easy to jump the gun! I am looking back at what you said and it appears that she even though she finds you attractive, she does not respect you or your feelings. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that? This comes down to much more than sex! You asked her to stop talking about her previous relationships because you do not like it, and she continues. Everyone is going to have "cranky days" and of course women will have their PMS days, but it is no excuse. I think before I speak because I don't want to hurt/offend my husband and I NEVER use PMS as an excuse, and it seems like she does. We have more control over it than most women would lead you to believe. Now, getting to sex, think like a woman, I know it's hard! :) Women like romance, we like to know that you desire us. That it is not just sex you want, but her as a person. That will turn her on. Talk to her about what she is into, does she like candle light? Does she like back rubs? Here is a good example... While you are sitting on the couch or bed watching tv or a movie, sit behind her and start rubbing her back. After about 5 min. or when she starts to really get into it, kiss her neck while you continue to rub her back. Take off her shirt, keep rubbing and kissing but kiss her back as well (the back is very sensitve to things like that) and keep going.... she will get the hint and she will know you want her; like I said, that is the key. Good luck!
2007-02-09 05:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she is bipolar that might be the issue or not.But talk to her,let her know exactly how things affect you.Mabe she might not be the right person for you if she don't want to be in a meaningful relationship.Doe's she take medication that could be the issue as well.Don't know what else i can tell you but keep your chin up and don't let her get you too down.Peace Victorio
2007-02-09 05:29:26 · answer #10 · answered by walter_nahbexie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The time to talk with her is now. Put aside the sex for a moment; her talking about past relationships and the sarcasm are issues that should be addressed before you can even consider marriage.
2007-02-09 05:25:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋