Why do parents spoil their kids? I understand parents want their kids to have things they never had. But what about morals, how about teaching them how they (parents) got to where they are. I've seen a lot of kids grow up to be really cocky, and disrespectful toward others especially if others arn't in the same class as them. I was raised "I'm not better than anyone else". Any answers or comments?
2007-02-09 05:20:56 · 20 answers · asked by cy 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Thanks for all your coments. Couple of things I forgot to mention; 1-I don't have any kids,2-I do have 2 nephews & an autistic little brother. Thats alomst like have 4 kids. 3-I work in retail and I see mom or dad or both saying "moneys no object". And their kids are running around being roudy breaking store displays. I've even told some kids not to run around or "quiet down please", and they would tell to "**** off" or "kiss my ***". Then they would tell their parents and the parents would complain about me to my boss. What the heck is all that about . Some parents would come out an tell me "I can't control them". These kids would be between the ages of 5-13. I'm 34 yrs old now, last time I broke some type of store display I was 11 yrs old and my dad gave me a nice wack on my butt. My was an old school Army man, I can still feel the wack while typing this. Theres more but I think everybody gets my point. Thanks a lot for your answers/coments. I do agree with everyones coments.
2007-02-09 09:56:51 · update #1
Doctor Spock (not the one from star trek) has a lot to answer for. He was the one that told a generation of people not to put boundaries on children.
We have the problem of to many people being taught their RIGHTS and none of the RESPONSIBILITIES. If you have a right you automatically get the responsibility.
People sometimes use the attitude that "I am better than everyone else" as a cover for lack of self esteem. This is now being taught as self esteem. People have forgotten what self esteem is really about. They are only taking the good parts of it for them.
Self esteem is how we see ourselves. Not how we present ourselves to others, although this is part of it. It is not how others think of us. It is can we live with ourselves the way that we are. and how we behave.
Kids should be taught to have respect for themselves and others. Self esteem will naturally follow.
2007-02-09 05:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by peter w 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Kids benefit from unconditional love, that means whatever they do their mum and dad will always love them. (ideal world scenario)
So what happens is, the kids play on this and have a go to see what they can get by being naughty. So what do the parents do ?, face up with dicipline or take the easy route and promise goodies for good behaviour. Easy, the second one, which produces a spoilt little brat.
Who said "spare the rod (dicipline) and spoil the child"
Must have been a sensible kind of person.
Do I have kids ? yes two boys 12 and 9. happy days.!
2007-02-09 05:35:06 · answer #2 · answered by yakatang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinions kids who have everything materially aren't neccesarily spoiled. There are many kids who have many material things but appreciate them and don't demand them. I think the spoiled kids are those to demand lots of things and are allowed to do and say whatever they want. I've seen kids pitching crazy fits at stores because mommy won't buy them the latest video games or whatever. These are older kids too not little ones who just don't know any better. I have a friend who's children have EVERYTHING (PS3, XBOX360, cell phones, ETC) but are the nicest most well mannered children you'd ever want to meet. They don't take their "stuff" for granted but more importantly they don't take their parents for granted. They's give you any of their things in a hearbeat if you asked. I'm amazed at what a great job they've done with their kids. I think it's a matter of respect and discipline which is all around lacking these days. Parents want to be "friends" with their kids. what a joke.
2007-02-09 05:40:39 · answer #3 · answered by Ella727 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I have a comment. Growing up, I thought my parents were greedy, strict and mean. About a month after college started I thought I was fortunate. About 3 months into financial independence, I thought they were fantastic. At thirty, I came to realize that they are brilliant!!! I hope in all the ways they taught me responsibility and humility and sacrifice, my parenting reflects it. I have encountered too many spoiled, ungrateful, lazy children and I can't stand it.
2007-02-09 06:31:48 · answer #4 · answered by steelypen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I have kids too, and I am thankful that my husband and I can provide for them everyting they need and want....
but we do not give them everything the want. We make them work for things they want. Not only in chores, but by volunteering and school grades.
Kids learn by example. Parents-start making good examples for kids.
In the end..they choose which nursing home you go to ! Right!?
2007-02-09 05:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by pepsicolastar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they think their children are perfect little angels. I was at the market getting groceries when these little brats came up to me and DEMANDED that I buy them some candy. I said no, and they should ask their mom. They said she told them that I would buy it. Nope, I didn't. Then they proceeded to whine and cry and scream at me, saying "you're going down, f*****" and "F*** you, b****"! WHat little brats. Then the mom yelled at me for making a scene and told me to go to hell. Needless to say, I told her "SEE YOU THERE!"
Kids are irritating. There isn't much to do but get on the parents' cases until they teach their kids some manners.
2007-02-10 00:33:17 · answer #6 · answered by Busta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think a lot of parents want to be "friends" with their children. The parents look back at their parents an uncool and they don't want to be like that, so they still try to dress and act like they did 20 years ago. They don't want to upset their "little darlings" by setting standards for their children to live by. This doesn't help anyone- especially their children
2007-02-09 05:30:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am experiencing the fallout of spoiling my son. He is disrespectful and cocky (teenager) just as you referred to. It is a tangled web that I think many parents are spinning. I have three sons and only one has this attitude. They were all raised with good morals and solid limits but they have been spoiled with material objects. It is tough being a parent.
2007-02-09 05:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by newstart 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I totally agree with you. I used to teach and the big thing was that a troubled student didn't have any self-esteem. I think that is a bunch of crap. I saw kids with too much self-esteem, exhibiting the "I am better than you" attitude everyday. Too many parents these days just hand their kids money in lieu of affection and spending time with them.
2007-02-09 05:25:22 · answer #9 · answered by girldog66 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I just had to weigh in as a firm believer in "it's not what you give them, it's what you teach them". I've seen kids with "everything" that are well mannered, condsiderate and appreciative and kids who do not have all the latest gadgets and fashions who are rude, inconsiderate and selfish. It's all about the parenting, not the stuff.
2007-02-09 05:34:07 · answer #10 · answered by Mountaingirl87 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋