Hello. About two years ago me and my fiancee lost a baby to miscarriage. She was already 12 weeks along, and the way she found out was she went to a dr. appt. alone ( i was at work, sadly) and they told her the heart wasn't beating. The next day they did a d&C. ...Now we light a candle every year, and she still cries about it sometimes, and we never got to know the babys gender. SO i was wondering if anybody knew if we were to get her medical record from the hospital if they'd be able to tell us what it was. OR if you can even tell that at 12 weeks. She really wants to know the gender so we could name OUR baby. Right now we call him/her Angel Baby. Please help me.... Now we have two little girls and we'd love to be able to tell them about their big brother or sister when they are older.
2007-02-09 05:20:56 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
New Info:
I found out you can tell earlier than 12 weeks, not on ultrasound but in the blood. You can tell as early as 5 weeks. Since she misscarried, they can test the babys blood so hopefull they did. =)
2007-02-09 05:36:44 · update #1
P.S. we don't just want to know the gender to name it, but also so we can refer to "it" by he or she. thank you for all your kind words, (aside from a few people who have nothing better to do ) We loved that baby we were so excited, it breaks my heart. And of course we are gonna tell our children, it was our child!. 3 months in utero already, we loved him or her. And we have matching tattoos to remind us always <3
2007-02-09 05:42:49 · update #2
I would call the doctors that did it and see if they have it on record they may or may not have wrote it down but it is worth a shot good luck and sorry to hear about that. Tell her I know what she is going through because I lost one at 7 weeks back in October and think that I am having another one right now but I dont know yet hope this helps
2007-02-09 05:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by Shannon H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost a baby at 13 weeks. Prior to the D&C I asked the doctor if they could tell me the gender. I thought it would help with my grieving process. They said the only way would be if they saved the remains and did genetic testing which they would usually do after a few miscarriages to see if there is a repetitive chromosonal abnormality. They told me that even thoguh it was my first, they would do the testing for my peace of mind. However, when they did the testing they found the baby had died a week earlier and that they could not test the chromosones in any way because they had deteriorated so far. therefore, I would think that at this juncture, you would not be able to find out the gender because they would have needed her signature to do such testing and without testing at 12 weeks the gender is unknown. Teh doctor can't look on the ultrasound and see whether it's a girl or a boy. I am sorry for your loss. I know I felt in my heart my baby was a girl; therefore, I carry her in my heart wherever I go.
2007-02-09 05:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by No Name 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they do have ways to check gender after a miscarriage(on ultrasound in a healthy pregnancy it is usually 20 weeks) I am sure if you called the doctor up and asked they should be able to tell you.
I am soo truly sorry for your loss. I can totally relate to how she(and you)are feeling. I have had two miscarriages myself and just had surgery last week to remove an ectopic. I never wanted to know the sex of my babies(would just be too hard as I have 3 girls and would kill me to find out it was a boy that we have soo desperatley wanted) but I did have that option.
2007-02-09 05:35:02 · answer #3 · answered by mom2ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. That's a tremendous sadness to endure. I'm not sure if the medical records would give any clues or not....I really don't think they can tell the gender at 12 weeks. But if it will make you feel any better, by all means, seek the information. You can name your baby anyway. Follow your heart, and go by that.
2007-02-09 05:28:49 · answer #4 · answered by kj 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest she contact the doctor she had at the time. I've had several miscarriages and the doctor always asked if I wanted to know the sex. I didn't. I think they can tell at 12 weeks. If you can't find out give the baby a unisex name like Leslie, or Shannon, or Bailey. I hope this helps with your healing.
2007-02-09 05:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry!!! from what i know you wouldn't be able to tell until the third tirmester. before that, all babies are basically girls( the gender parts don't really develop until the third trimester end of the second). so you could give the child a girl's name. i think calling the child Angel is quite appropriate, no matter what gender they would have been.
2007-02-09 05:26:15 · answer #6 · answered by Duelen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister had a miscarriage 20 years ago I dont know how far along she was..but she called the hospital about 2 months ago and found out it was a boy..
2007-02-09 05:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
until 4 months you can not tell the gender. You can name the angel a name that will go with both genders like alexander
2007-02-09 05:25:19 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 weeks remains way too early to appreciate the gender of the toddler. in many circumstances the intercourse can not be desperate till a minimum of 15 weeks yet in maximum circumstances its no longer till 18-21 weeks which you will get a ninety 8% precise wager as to the intercourse. this is this manner even with twins.
2016-09-28 21:21:40 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure if you can tell the gender that early but you could use a unisex name like Kennedy, Taylor, Logan.
2007-02-09 05:30:55 · answer #10 · answered by mdoud01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋