Okay.. so my boyfriend & I are christians and are waiting to have sex when we're married. But lately he's been doing things that have scared me. Such as we'll be cuddling and next thing I know he's almost on top of me and we'll be jumping on the trampoline and i'll loose my footing and next thing I know hes beside me with his legs over mine. Now I do not want sex and niether does he. We both have agreed on that but whats up with this behavior? And also I am TERRIFIED of sex. I've heard so many horror stories about bleeding everywhere and the orgasm hurting really bad and stuff. I am soo afraid of having a rod enter me!!!!
2007-02-09 04:36:31 · 27 answers · asked by karateprincess17 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sex is a God's gifts and if you have that attitude about sex I highly doubt your marriage will last. Or how were you born? Because of SEX.
He got that attitude because he is a human being, he loves you so HE WANTS YOU but he respects you. You should appreciate this. Get informed about sex because not all girls bleed. Sex is not bad, it is a beautiful thing.
2007-02-09 04:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by C6 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Good for you and yoyr boyfriend on making such a responsible decition. even so, I hate to say it, but he is a man, its natural for him to act that way, even if he doesn't want to ahve sex. My question is, have you two desided on what you do want and exactly how far you do want to go? What exactly are your boundries? this is something the two of you should talk about and be perfectly clear on. Having good communication between the two of you will make your relationship go far. As far as being scared, its ok to be afraid, especially as a woman. For many girls, the first time does hurt. But, if you are with someone you love and are comfortable with, the times after that the pain will go away and you will start to enjoy it. I know how it feels too be scared, i have always been scared of sex to. however, what i found was that it was a natural pain, it hurt, but i knew it was suppost to so it made it better, also, my fiance was very gentle. As far as orgasms, I have never heard of it hurting, it is just a very intence feeling, Also, there is not a lot of bleeding and some girls dont bleed at all. It sounds to me like you have been told a lot of untruths, maybe to keep you from having sex. I advise that you do a little research. Knowing for sure that you know the truth will ease a lot of your fears. Good Luck
2007-02-09 05:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your boyfriend is probably doing the things he is doing because it feels good to him to be rubbing against or being next to you in that manner. He likely doesn't intend it to go any further than that, but sees nothing wrong with it since he intends it to stop there. Still, this is a sign that he is thinking about sex with you. As for sex hurting, no it doesn't. There are rare cases of it hurting, but usually it is due to a medical problem. The horror stories you have heard were told by people who didn't have the facts straight. Sex is a beautiful and wonderful thing, and very pleasurable. If it wasn't so, then there wouldn't be such a preoccupation with it in this country. You don't need to be afraid of your first time. There MIGHT be a tiny bit of bleeding the first time, but that is perfectly normal and nothing to be afraid of. If you go slow and make out and have heavy petting etc before the actual act, then when it DOES happen, your body will be ready and the momentary discomfort that you MIGHT feel, will give way to extreme pleasure. I applaud you for wanting to wait until marriage. I too am a Christian and I can tell you that God designed sex to be a beautiful and pleasurable thing for BOTH people. It isn't something to fear or dread. Your body's muscles down there are meant to expand to accomodate a man. It's designed that way. As for the orgasm, they don't hurt - if you think they do because of tv etc where the woman is screaming or crying out, it is because she is experiencing pleasure - not pain. I would talk to your doctor or a married sister or female relative or friend about this and get the facts. Whoever you have received your information from did not give you the truth. Then, if you are trying to abstain from sex until marriage, I would cut back on the cuddling unless it is done in front of others. Your boyfriend is feeling sexually attracted to you when you cuddle or fall down on the trampoline. He can't help his desires, but if he too wants to abstain before marriage, he needs to control his behavior. The way to do that is to stay out of situations where he could be tempted. Good luck.
2007-02-09 04:48:56 · answer #3 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, it is understandable to be scared of sex and for the first time it might be a little uncomfortable for a few minutes. As long as he takes it slow and doesn't do anything stupid you will enjoy it. And sweetie I have never know anyone to have an orgasm that hurts. Orgasms feel really good. I am proud of you that you dont want to have sex until you are married. Sometimes I wish that I would have waited until I was married, but oh well you can't change the past. There is nothing wrong with your boyfriends actions, it just hormones. but if they make you uncomfortable tell him about. He should respect your feelings, if he doesn't then sweetie you don't need him.
2007-02-09 04:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by **baby~doll** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your kidding right?? OK i will assume that you are really serious so i will tell you what's up:) sex feels really good and orgasm are off the chain they are the most pleasuristic feelings you will ever experience in your life it is GOD'S greatest gift to you:) and NO you will not bleed everywhere you might bleed a Little and you might not bleed at all:) so stop tripping on what other peoples views are they are probably just scarring you cuz they want you to keep your legs closed!! you are the master of your own domain and if you want to NOT have sex until you are married than that is you own personal choice and i think that is a very cool thing:)
2007-02-09 04:46:37 · answer #5 · answered by notyochic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hunny there is nothing to be afraid of. Your guy may just want to take that step with you now instead of later. Talk to him about it. You only bleed your first time having sex. It does hurt a little, I wont lie to you, but its not that bad to be afraid of it. I promise. I'm not saying to go out and have sex, but what I am saying is to becareful dont let some guy take you for granted. You can never take back your virginity. If you need anything else, dont be afraid to ask. I'm always here.
2007-02-09 04:42:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
depends on how old you are. most of the time there is some pain when you loose your virginity and a LITTLE bit of bleeding. the first time you will NOT have an orgasm. it takes a couple of times to get used to it. But when you do have an orgasm it is the **** it is one of the best feelings ever especiallly if you love that person. and yo boyfriend probaly stunting he want it bad and i think you want it a little too. wait till you ready. you only get one first time.
2007-02-09 04:41:40 · answer #7 · answered by peachez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, let me tell you the TRUTH!
First of all, I applaud you for waiting till marriage. Stay Strong. As for your boyfriend, Don't feel bad, that's how guys are!
As for sex, I was scared too, I was a virgin when i got married, and trust me it does HURT! The first few times actually, but if you have a loving affectionate husband he will be gentle and help you along.
Anyway, Stay Strong and When you get married HAVE FUN!
2007-02-09 04:48:38 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy of 3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy way to answer this is- He is a guy. The last thing you want is to be terrified of sex. First time will not be that fun, but it always get better. Do not be scared of sex or it will haunt you forever and could damage your relationship
2007-02-09 04:41:31 · answer #9 · answered by Vincenzo Coccotti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you are very uninformed.
Sex does hurt a little the first time but as a rule it shouldn't. It should be fun and relaxed and should not be stressing you out like this. Orgasms do not hurt, seriously.
Your guy sounds like he's tired of waiting and i suggest you have a serious talk with him before he goes too far.
2007-02-09 04:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by Kimberly P 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋