Need advice on school issue?

Question

As I was discussing my son's midterm report with him he told me about a kid in his class that is harrassing him. Poking him in the head, making comments about him and distracting him in class. He tells me it happens when the teacher is out of the room or when she is too busy to notice. I wrote a note to the teacher to call me today to discuss. Any tips or advice on dealing with a school bully?

Answer 1

Yes basically you have to threaten the teacher and say to her or him . If this continues to go on I am holding you responsible. Otherwise it just goes on and on. You need to stop this right away so maybe discuss this with the other childs parents.
momof4

Answer 2

As a former teacher, I can say that the teacher probably cannot patrol the classroom and teach at the same time. Things are different from when I was a kid in school (regarding discipline) .

My suggestion for you is to volunteer in your son's class. I have never a) met a teacher who didn't want a mother/ father to sit in on class, particularly to assit and b) had a parent do this despite promising they would.

Even if you work full-time, the occasional vacation day "present" at your son's school shows the teachers that you are really committed. This may sound terrible but the honest truth is the child of a committed parent will often get more attention--and more attention is better. This does not mean "preferential treatment" but it "shines a spotlight" on your child.

Most importantly, it sends a message to your child that you are there. Your "love and protection" meant you did this extra thing for him. Even if he feels embarrassed or shy about it, when he gets older, he'll remember that you cared enough to do this. I cannot recommend it enough, even if it's only once a quarter.

Lastly, if problems do persist, your volunteer work means that the teacher and administration already consider you a "friend" and may be able to help your son.

Here's a personal example: my mother was a room mother and showed up on party days. In the 3rd grade, the school bully broke my nose. I beat the tarnation out of him. We were both called to the office and my mother received a call. When she asked what the punishment would be for fighting, there was none. The teacher, the principal, and everyone knew "what kind of people" we were as well as what kind of student the bully was and how his parents were. By no means am I suggesting that your son fight the bully! The end result was "smoothed" by the fact my mother came in 4 times a year.

Sorry so long but this is something I feel strongly about. Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm a believer in push back against bullies. The problem is that they target those they think won't fight back. In our society today we want to do the politically correct thing and use the system and "peaceful" methods of resolving these types of issues. Pushing back does not mean, necessarily, fighting or hitting back; it means being forceful in a statement that the behavior is not to be tolerated. The bully wants to make a statement in front of his friends. Your son should take this kid aside and tell him that the behavior isn't to be tolerated any more. The retort will, most likely, be "Oh yeah, what are you going to do about it?". That's the question your son has to be ready for. The answer is that you've gone on record with the authorities and lodged a complaint. If the behavior doesn't stop the next step is to have the school call his parents in for a meeting with you to discus how this will end. If that doesn't work, then an order of protection will be required; and no one needs that on his record prior to looking for colleges or even to enlist in the Service. If all else fails, your son may just have to get into it with this kid.

Answer 4

Teach your child to be assertive and ask your teacher to sit him elsewheres.
My son is icd and was a big bully.
The teachers would not issue immediate consequences and he was not learning much so now I homeschool.
Children with behavioral disorders need to work harder to control theirselves.
This is accomplished through rewards and consequences set in place.

Many teachers do not understand bullies however and fail to teach the bully discipline.
But they do recognize the affects of assertiveness and are teaching the kids to tell the bully no.

Unfortunately if the bully feels he can do no good he will only get worse.

Now that your teacher knows about the problem she should be able to watch for it.

For my son I watch him without him knowing so I know what he will do when unsupervised.

Answer 5

Talk to the school principle, and ask that a "nanny-cam" be set up at the rear of the class and that the teacher be "called away" on purpose to expose the bully or bullies in your son's class! Video evidence is undisputeable and the the proper action(s) should be taken...the bully's parents are notified, the bully is either expelled, or at least suspended, or removed and transfered to another class or away from your son! Legal action could also take place!

Answer 6

talk to the principal , the teacher cant see everything or knows this is going on but dont give a darn so talk to te teach and the principal , so they both know and make a record of the times and copys of the notes so if they say u never informed them of the bully that u have records , another thing u may want to do is try to talk to the kids parent yourself and let them know whats going on , and rember also there is 2 sides to every story , so its bestr that u your son the bully and his parents along with the teacher and principal talk , to work this out , your son can get alot more bulling to for saying something , because kids i hate to say this feel lie what there doing is ok and shouldnt be told on , or they try to intimidate other kids into being scared , but if this boy is doing this to your son emagine how many other kids hes doing it to and has done it to , , your son did right by telling u now u and him need to get the principal and teacher to do something now before it turns into another columbine etc , good luck
u may even try calling the school police or your local police station and get advice from them as well , after all hitting someone even verbal remarks can be considered teriotst threats now day , your son may even risk getting suspended btu it may get the bully to stop and thats to fight back , kids will push one another to see how far they can go , your son may get his butt kicked but it shows the bullies and others that may consider bulling that your son isnt gonna take it and is willing to stand his ground im a mom of 6 and i also was bullied at school till i decided im gonna fight back and fight back i did , after fighting back the bully respected me and left me alone yes i got suspended but not so much for the fight itself but because i kicked a teacher in the privates when he pulled me off the girl and she had a hold of my hair

Answer 7

the same situation happen to my 7yr. old, she told the teacher and the teacher pat her on the shoulder don't do it again and the bully continued, so i went to school in the early morning with my child had her point out to me the bully i called the child to aside and pulled a teacher to the side and told the teacher and confronted the bully + had my child confront the child in front of the teacher, all things were settled and never bothered again, and when my child comes home from school the bully no longer a bully walks with my kid and gives her a goodbye hug.

Answer 8

Our schools have a zero tolerance policy on bullying. Do yours? You need to teach your son to say loudly, "Do not touch me! You are not allowed to touch me!" I cannot stand bullies, since I was bullied as a child. I wish we'd had the zero tolerance thing back then. I can't stand it when kids think they have the right to physically assault another child and yes, it's assault even if they are just patting a kid on the head or touching him with their finger. It's unwanted contact, it's assault. Bring it up with the teacher and work on ways for your son to handle it. Best wishes - I hope you get it figured out!

Answer 9

just tell the teacher what is going on. this way she has a heads up. if this continues after you do this then what you need to do is talk to the principal about this and tell them that you want something done about this. this should help you out a lot. if necessary in the event that this does not help you, then you need to talk to the superintendent and maybe threaten them with a lawsuit. it shouldn't have to go this far though. hope this helps. good luck.

Answer 10

Working with the teacher is good. She needs to know what is going on. Maybe she can help keep them apart.

Allow your kid to fight back. He shouldn't have to sit there and take this abuse.