But would it be okay to get the birthday lady a tiara just to wear when a group of us take her out to lunch? I think it'll make her feel like a princess on her special day or do you think I should interpret the "no gifts" strictly? No ifs, ands or buts about the rule?
2007-02-09 04:14:56 · 13 answers · asked by pathfindercia 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Wide Awake: I also read the same Miss Manners response. It was a letter from a girl wanting to wear a tiara in England so I believe Miss Manners' response can apply only to England. If only married women or about to be married women can wear tiaras, then the U.S. have been in violation of etiquette for years since we have beauty pageants, proms and homecomings.
2007-02-12 00:52:49 · update #1
She may have a particular reason for not wanting gifts so I would respect that. Perhaps she has specific tastes or may have some religious or cultural reason.
Why not ask her what her favourite Charity is and then say
'I know you didn't want a gift and I really wanted to give you something so what I'll do instead is donate what I would have spent on the gift to your favourite charity. Is that OK?'
She'll either say 'yes' or 'no'. If yes do it, if no then respect her wishes. I can't see that she would be offended by that gesture.
2007-02-09 04:26:26 · answer #1 · answered by quatt47 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, if you got me a tiara to wear out to lunch to celebrate my birthday I'd be REALLY embarrassed and angry. On the other hand, even if she said "no gifts" paying for her lunch would be okay as would a card or even a donation in her honor to a charity she supports would be acceptable - but I would just do that quietly and not make a big deal out of it.
2007-02-09 06:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by Jane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't consider it a gift but just a fun gadget for the occasion -at least if you're getting an inexpensive one from a party shop and not a real piece of jewelry. So it wouldn't be against the 'no gifts' request. However as others have pointed out lots of people would probably be embarrased by it. You'll know her best to judge if she would be; I'm one of those people who would think it funny and to h-ll with what everyone thinks, if they give me weird looks I'll smile and wave at 'm :)
2007-02-09 08:41:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMM, if she didn't care if she received a gift or not she wouldn't have stated NO GIFTS, please. The tiara thing is not something a lot of people would love to wear (unless you won the pageant or are eight). Taking her out for lunch and everyone chipping in to buy flowers would be better.
2007-02-09 05:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by trojan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's perfectly fine. She probably either has enough kitchen stuff or china that a registry isn't needed. A little gift like a tiara won't be frowned upon. She just doesn't want people to blow wads of money on traditional wedding gifts. Go for it, she'll be happily surprised.
2007-02-09 04:22:33 · answer #5 · answered by chefgrille 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please note that tiaras may only be worn by married ladies, or ladies that are within an hour of being married. Does this apply to her?
I wouldn't interpret this strictly as a gift, more of a decoration. So if she is married, go ahead, get her one, have fun.
2007-02-09 04:50:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what she is like. Does she come across as someone that would like to be treated like a princess. Make sure you match the gift to her personality. How about shirt with an iron on transfer that says Birthday Girl with balloons on it?
2007-02-09 04:40:29 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think people say that when they don't want their friends to feel OBLIGATED to bring gifts. However, if YOU want to bring a gift, I think it's perfectly fine!
Just say something like, "I know you said no gifts, but I thought this would be cute. It's just something small." She won't be mad, I'm sure - it's a nice gesture.
2007-02-09 04:19:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a wonderful party when you don't have money to buy a present. But even the Queen will love receive hearted present as yours is. Go ahead! Don't be shy!
2007-02-09 04:25:07 · answer #9 · answered by Aninha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a gift she can wear and make herself stand out is ok
2007-02-09 04:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by Jim G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋