They didn't used to do that and if you did, people would look at you weird. Nowadays, people think you're strange and heartless if you don't have one.
2007-02-09 03:32:32 · 12 answers · asked by Cinnamon 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you are referring to a particular candle, not candles in general.
Not only do some couples light a candle for someone deceased sometimes they even have their picture or even a tribute to that person during the wedding. It is usually for a close relative like a parent or sibling but sometimes it encompasses others.
Grief behaves in an odd manner.
2007-02-09 05:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Memorial Candles are one way of remembering a loved one who would be attending the wedding if they were still with us.
For example: at my wedding I did not use a candle, instead I did a picture collage of my grandparents (whom passed a few months before the wedding) in a beautiful antique frame. This way it would comfort me (and anyone close to the family) knowing that the loved one was there.
The memorial wasn't part of the wedding for me, I instead placed the frame at the signature table so that my wedding ceremony was short and sweet.
Choosing not to do a memorial candle or memorial of some type does not make you strange or heartless.
Remember this:
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
:) Best wishes!
2007-02-09 12:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by scottsladylumps 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wedding day is suppose to be a day about family. Sometimes, when a member of the groom/brides family passes, they are actually sad on their wedding day. Wishing that those people would be present. They want others in the family to remember to keep those people in their hearts and memories on such a joyous day. If you are a religious person, they may have a prayer for these people, asking them to look down on them from Heaven to see such a joyous day.
2007-02-09 11:50:07 · answer #3 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly didn't care what anyone thought about my wedding... I did it the way I wanted it. I normally wouldn't do a memory candle or anything but my husband's mom passed away, and a mother is a very very important part of a wedding. So we included her by lighting a memory candle instead of a unity candle, while he dad sang "when i said i do". It was beautiful and i think a very tasteful way to remember her on her son's wedding day. I wouldn't do that for a grandmother, friend, aunt, etc... unless they were the ones who raised me.
2007-02-09 11:39:36 · answer #4 · answered by akp_02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well every wedding I have been to has used a memorail candle its to show respect to all those who are there only in spirit like for example my sister named the people it was to honor. As for being heartless I dunno I am currently planning a wedding and we are doing a sand ceremony.
Most of the funerals I have been to in resent years were not called funerals but home going services and we celebrate there life through song and just shared stories instead of it being such a sad day. Dunno if that answered your question but just some insight.
2007-02-09 11:53:52 · answer #5 · answered by michelle H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People choose to have memorial candles as a way to remember a loved one they lost as a part of their special day.
I lost my dad two years before I got married. It was really hard for me to know that my dad wasn't there to walk me down the aisle. I had a candle lit through my entire ceremony in memory of my father. When it came time for the prayers of intention, the priest noted candle that was lit for my dad and that the light the candle gave was symbolic of the light my father gave to my life, and that his spirit was still with all of us at the wedding.
It's a matter of preference, really, and I wouln't think anyone heartless if they chose not to have one. It's a personal decision. For me, it was a way to include my father in my big day.
2007-02-09 15:53:35 · answer #6 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not a funeral but it helps them feel like some one they knew like a mother or father , friend brother , ex... is there when they know if they were alive they would be there. i had two memorial candles one for his family and friends and one for my brother and friend. it showed that we honor their life and their life was part of us and we are joining as one and we wanted to let everyone know that we never forgot them and we still move on without them but know they are in our hearts always.. my husband is in the army and we got married on his r and r time and before he came home he lost his best man and it was our way to honor this great man at our wedding and to show that he still had a spot. its not wrong nor is it bad not to have them to each his own your wedding your setup and flow.. mine was nice and remember-able and everyone still talks about the memorial part of the wedding and the vows and songs...god bless
2007-02-09 11:43:52 · answer #7 · answered by tlcoufan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they treat a wedding like a funeral, it's just a very special moment in the bride's and groom's life, and if someone who was close to them has passed on, they usually would like to remember that person on their day. I think it's highly appropriate, but not every bride and groom do it, and I don't think it's "heartless" to not do it. Like all weddings, it's a personal decision made by the bride and groom. If you don't like it, don't do it when you get married.
2007-02-09 11:40:29 · answer #8 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Candles are a symbol of life everlasting. Of endurment.
Used in funerals it symbolizes everlasting life. When used in weddings it symbolizes two lives coming together for everlasting love during life. It pretty much has a similar meaning.
2007-02-09 11:42:00 · answer #9 · answered by sheristeele 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its just away for people to remember a love one that passed and they want to feel as if they are here celebrating this joyous occassion. There is nothing wrong with it. Its a personal preference. If you don't like it then don't do one at your own wedding. Someone elses wedding is about them and their feelings, no you and yours.
2007-02-09 11:40:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋