How do I become more comfortable with my body and how I look?

Question

I have always had self esteem issues and body image issues...How do I become comfortable with how I look regardless of my size. I have been fat, lost weight and chubby but I have never liked my body and I can't stand looking at my body in the mirror. I want to know how other people have dealt wit this issue. Now I am engaged and I still think that my fiance is just as disgusted with my body as I am...

Answer 1

Stop worrying. It is a turn off for guys if you have low self esteem. Men are attracted to confident women. I am sure you are beautiful. You are engaged. Congrats!

Answer 2

I had this problem once, and the answer iI've found,s to just give yourself a break
Take a look in the mirror and separate you inner self from the outer one and ask youself this question.
Would you be friends with someone who looks like you? If so why?
The answer should be yes,because you like the person you are and you are a cool chick in many ways.
If that is the answer you came up with, then dont be so hard on yourself, since you decided you wouldnt be so hard on someone who looks just like you.
NOW though, if you wouldnt be friends with yourself, why? Is it just because of how you look? If so, you do have some issues and need to make some changes. Not nesesarlily on the just on the outside ,but on the inside first.
You shouldnt be so judgemental of others or of yourself.
Learn to like the woman within.

Answer 3

Number one secret to physical self esteem...
All those models you see everywhere are actually the freaks of society. They ALL have something wrong with them. The only reason the look THAT good is because they have high paid clothing designers that know how to cover up those defects.
Start looking at the ratio of small to large people out there. You will see that the "normal" is not what TV has brainwashed everyone in to believing.

Practice hanging out at home in the nude a little bit at a time. After a while you will start to become more comfortable with yourself.

Answer 4

Honey I know where U R coming from!!!!!!!!!! But your not going to feel better about yourself by trying something someone else has done. It MUST come from within you! Who in the world ever told you or made you feel as though there's something wrong with you? Does your fiance do or say things that make you want to believe this or is it your own distortion of reality. If he's responsible (even if only a bit) - drop him like a hot fry pan! Your worthy of much better. If it truley is just your own self conscious - do something good for yourself that makes you feel sexy & if he's a good man - he'll help :-} he'll love that you want him to help.

Answer 5

Ask and think about the qualities people compliment you on. What things make you feel good inside? Think about and do them. Go to one of those makeup counters to get a 'make over', their job is to point out the best points in your face, they can't lie about anything that would be obviously not true. Really study your fiance's face and eyes when he looks at you, esp. when he stares at you or does a second glance. Absorb those admiring expressions without letting anything else come to mind. Wear the colors and belts and things that compliment your tone. Make small goals for your future, and reach them, making more...nothing seems to make one feel good so much as accomplishment and gaining desired and worked for things. So I am learning. Good luck, and remember God loves you and stay away from the stick model mags! lol

Answer 6

First of all you need to learn to love yourself inside out, once you have decide that. You can work on the outside if you are not satisfied with the way it looks. Find a personal trainer that can help one on one to discuss what you want to change and how to do it in a health way.

That's aquestion you need to ask him. If he say yes he is disquested by your body you may need to rethink your engagement. Your partner should love you no matter what. I am sure you are a beautiful person all over.

Answer 7

um... this is going to sound crazy... but if you don't like your body then do something about it... I was 260+ a few years ago and lost 80+ pounds... I still am not content with my body but hey... I'll tell you this... just working on it... I was much happier... man I thought I looked good when I got down to 220...

Now I am not happy with how I look at 185... BTW I am still mildly obese by medical definition so I'm not crazy... well at least not because of that... ;-)

Ok so what is my point to brag about my weight loss... NO.. my point is I felt better about my body as soon as I stopped thinking... "Poor me... I am so fat... I look like a slob" and started thingking... "I am going to get in shape... I am good to look better"

as I started making progress I felt alot better about myself...

BTW a big motivator for me was to look at myself in the mirror every day...

-- you want a boost to your ego... ask your fiance if you would like you to strip for him... I bet he loves your body ---

Answer 8

Okay first of all, if your fiance was disgusted with your body, the two of you wouldn't be engaged to begin with. Along the way of developing a relationship with someone, people check each other out - including their appearance. If your fiance was as repulsed by your body as you are, then there would not have been a physical attraction to begin with which would make that person want to be married to you.

That said, I don't care what kind of body a person has, we all have worries about our looks to one degree or another. You didn't say if you are male or female, but assuming you are female, just remember that if you weigh more than you are comfortable with, a man will still find you sexy and attractive if you project confidence and demonstrate that you are all that and a bag of chips. I am a 5'4", 125 pounds female. I have gone up to 130 pounds and have felt very fat, even though I still looked pretty good at that weight. I used to be underweight, and had trouble getting above 100 pounds, and finally, when I reached 110 pounds, I was ecstatic and went out and donated blood because I finally weighed enough to be able to do that. Now, by comparison, I feel fat because I have a little roll around my belly. Still, my fiance, a very healthy, red-blooded male, tells me I am hot. He knows I have that roll and that I am uncomfortable with it. He knows I don't like the lines I am beginning to see around my face (I am 45). He tells me I am beautiful and when we go out dancing, because he makes me feel beautiful, I act like I think I am and I have a great time. I notice other men staring at me. It's all about how you carry yourself. If you are a good person on the inside, then carry yourself like you are. It will project to your outside. When others see your confident air, you will be more appealing to them. If your fiance loves you, he (or she) already is aware of your physical features that you may be worried about. Relax, enjoy your life, enjoy being in love and the prospect of being married, trust your fiance, realize that if he (or she) finds you attractive, others probably do too. Nobody is ever truly happy with how they look. My own fiance has told me that he thinks he is ugly. He thinks he is fat, and is always telling me to "rub the Buddha belly, it will bring you luck", as he sticks out his belly. When I look at him, I see a very handsome 6'0" tall man with soft brown hair, the bluest eyes I have ever seen, a perfect nose, a very sexy mouth, and a beautiful smile. He has great legs and is very handsome in my eyes. Yes, I have noticed he has a little bit of a belly. Do I care? Nope. Is he sexy and physically appealing to me? You better believe it!! Don't underestimate the power of love and physical attraction when it comes to your fiance. Just remember though, that no matter how much someone loves you and is attracted to you, it is a turnoff to them when a person constantly worries about their appearance and makes negative comments about it. So I say to relax and be yourself, but be a confident self. Trust your fiance to love you and find you sexy and appealing exactly as you are.

Answer 9

Well EXERCISE its really the only way. Set a weight you want to get to and try to meet it and stay at that weight. Its hard work but you have to do it. Guareenteed you will feel more comfortable with yourself and i mean exercise like everyday not just once a week

Answer 10

have you asked him? were you heavy when you met him, then he must not think it's a problem. but you should try to get a healthy weight, for yourself, just to be healthy, think about your kids and your future. if you know you can eat better and exercise, do it, otherwise you have no excuse. i understand if you've always been that way and have trouble losing weight. you can't worry about what others think about you though, even skinny people do that! If this is a girl, which I'm assuming it is, physcial appearance is important, so you should try to do what you can to be more attractive for him.