I have started seeing this girl who is really flirtatious. Now she wants to get serious and talks about engagement and etc. I know she will be going to this certain club with her girlfriends tonight. So I asked the best looking and the most smooth talking of all my friends to go there, hit on her, and try to get her number. What do you think of this simple yet GREAT idea?!
2007-02-09 03:24:09 · 33 answers · asked by Rona9 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
FANTASTIC!! I test people all the time...don't break up with her right away if she does give out her number....but talk to her about it and ask her if she is wanting to get married why would she do that....see how she answers....she may just be wanting to feel more important....
2007-02-09 03:30:13 · answer #1 · answered by I'll go with that 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as someone who has had some insecurity in a relationship that was getting serious, I can relate to what you feel. However, it's probably not the best idea to go behind her back like this and "test" her. It may sound good in theory, but ultimately if you are thinking about getting serious this is a bad idea. For one thing, she will likely be meeting all of your friends eventually, and realize that she was set up. I realize that you are doing this out of fearing that you can't trust her, but setting her up like this will only cause her not to trust YOU as well. So then you will have no trust on either side and the relationship likely will fall apart.
I suggest that you talk to her. You always hear that communication is key to any relationship, and that is SO true, especially in potentially serious ones. If you can't talk to her about her flirting issue now, how do you expect to be able to be open with her once you are engaged or even married? This could cause all kinds of resentment, trust issues, and possibly even lead to divorce. It happens all the time because people simply cannot talk about their issues. Sit her down and share that you are uncomfortable with the amount of flirting she does with other men. If she gets defensive or angry at you, then she obviously does not care about your feelings or about maintaining trust with you, and you should really reconsider the relationship at that point. But hopefully, she will be understanding, listen, and try to make changes so that you feel you can trust her. You would be surprised how just communicating can really resolve a number of issues. Try that before you resort to going behind her back. Good luck! : )
2007-02-09 03:38:17 · answer #2 · answered by Melody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Works in theory. Can backfire multiple ways.
A: Your friend likes her, decides hey why the **** not and goes after her.
B: She finds out what you did, tells you she doesn't trust you, and your relationship goes to ****.
C: A combo of results A and B, Your friend likes her, tells her what you did, she gets pissed, does him out of revenge on you.
D: The plan works, she does NOT give him her number. Later on down the road, youre hanging out with said handsome friend and she recognizes him. Enter large arguement about trust.
The problem with this test is that it shows a huge amount of distrust on your part. If you guys cant trust each other now, how long do you think the marriage will last?
Alot of girls are flirtatious, it does NOT mean they will all cheat. If you do not have ROCK hard evidence she has cheated on one of her boyfriends in the past, I would advise against this maneuver. Trust her, until you have good proven reason to not do so.
2007-02-09 03:35:04 · answer #3 · answered by Reginald B. Thornberry XII 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a good idea. Trust is very important in a relationship and you're trying to plant a land mine in the middle of it. At the most, you should find out if it is that important for her to go with her friends to the club instead of you. Why does she need a ladies' night out if she's talking serious stuff with you?
2007-02-09 03:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two thoughts.
1. If you don't trust your girlfriend, regardless of whether or not the test works, you shouldn't get engaged to her. Period. You obviously have issues with her and her behavior. A more successful and mature way to deal with this would be to sit her down and talk to her about it. You are going to need this ability if you are ever to get engaged. The success of your marriage depends on it 100%.
2. If she figures out she was tested, you're likely done (unless she's dumber than a box of rocks). You have broken her trust. All it takes is for one of her friends to recognize him as being a friend of yours or knowing him, or him blabbing or doing a crappy job of convincing her, or you accidently letting the cat out of the bag sometime down the road. Any self-respecting girl (or guy) who finds out she was "tested" would be wise to dump the idiot who did it. The trust is not there, and it likely is never going to be.
2007-02-09 03:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not fair. If you don't trust her you should talk to her about that. Trying to catch her showing interest in another guy set up a whole string of mistrust between you two, even if she never finds out. It's the wrong way to go abou tbuilding a realationship.
2007-02-09 03:28:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are acting like a very insecure person. Why ask to have your feeling hurt? You already know the disposition of this girls personality. Doing this will only drive a wedge away from her.
If this is your way of treating a women why don't you just cheaters on that tv show?
This action of yours is just not acceptable
2007-02-09 03:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You take a big risk here. If she fails then yes u proved she can't be trusted, but if she passes and she finds out that u tested her like that she won't easily forgive u. We shouldn't have to test people to know they can be trusted. If u have a good relationship then u need to trust her no matter what, especially if u are considering a step like marriage.
2007-02-09 03:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by Amber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You foool!
You might as well let him sleep with her and then tell you if she is good or bad! What kind of a man are you?
Take your gf to the club and enjoy your company, unless of course you are not serious!
2007-02-09 03:33:17 · answer #9 · answered by Ebby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because he gets his number doesnt mean anything is going to happen its his decision to call it or whatever. you should trust her and by the sounds of it shes better off without you because if you dont trust her this early on in the relationship it obviously shows it wont last and your very insecure whereas she isnt, shes comfortable in her own skin and is serious about you too.
2007-02-09 03:30:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋