Iam beside myself with my daughters constant crying. We have just gotten up from the dinner table and she has told me that she is not hungry any more and wants down. We are cleaning the table from dinner and she says to me she is hungry and wants something to eat. I say no of course because she did not finish her dinner. What does she do? She cries. I say it's time for bed she cries. I tell her to leave her blanket at daycare, she cries. She leaves her blanket at home after being told not to take it home, she cries. I tell her it's time for a bath she cries. I tell her hi you look pretty, she cries. I almost don't want to go home anymore because between my 1 year old and my 5 year old it is like a crying symphony in my house at any given moment. I can not go on like this anymore. Please someone help, what can I do to get my 5 year old to stop crying more than her 1 year old brother.
2007-02-09 01:54:59 · 14 answers · asked by shellbell1229 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
If she is constantly using that behavior (crying), chances are she is in someway benefitting from it...otherwise she wouldn't bother to do it.
First step, consider your reaction when she cries? You stop what you are doing and give her attention. Whether it is positive or negative doesn't matter to her. What is important is that you are paying attention to her.
You mentioned that you have a one year old. Perhaps your 5 year old noticed that when the baby cried, you stopped what you were doing and picked him up and paid attention to him. Your 5-year old could possibly have been feeling neglected and doesn't know how else to reach out to you so she is copying this behavior.
Next time she cries, pick her up, put her in her room alone and let her cry. She may get louder and she may scream and I know it sounds harsh but it is the only way for her to realize that is an unacceptable behavior. After it happens three or four times, she'll understand that the tantrums are not getting her what she wants and they will stop. However, you must be consistent.
In the meantime, set aside some time for only you and her to hang out. Get out of the house and take her to McDonalds, walk through the mall, go to the book store and read a story together. The point is to spend special time alone with her so she learns she doesn't have to cry to get your attention.
It's hard, I know...particularly when you have two small children and your time is divided between them, housework, a career and a husband. Also, realize you are not a "bad mother" because your daughter may feel this way. Motherhood is a balancing act and the only way to get better is to learn from you mistakes. Good luck!
2007-02-09 02:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter needs some kind of disipline. I not saying to spank her, but time-out, send her to her room un til she stops or something. Let her know that its not okay for her to cry for everything. My 3 yr old niece does that when she gets around my 1 yr old, I think they do it because they see the babys getting attention from it so they do it too. Let her know that she a big girl and she does have to cry. Try and do some "big girl" things with her, it might help. We would tell my niece if you don't cry and be a good girl, we'll take you to the park or get some ice cream. Good Luck, because I know it frustrating.
2007-02-09 02:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids will not starve. If my kids don't eat enough, I put the plate back in the fridge and it will reappear for breakfast the next day. I've only had to do that a couple of times before they get it! Do not give in, even the next day. Kids will remember, and they know exactly how long they have to cry before mom gives in. And make sure she gets lots of cuddles. When I get home from work, I drop everything where I stand and cuddle my kids. Get her involved in some of your decisions. Ask her to help choose what plates to use, or give her the Swiffer and let her loose on the tile. (my kids love it)
2007-02-09 02:08:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of my kids drove me insane with this problem she was admitted to hospital it was so bad to see if she was medically ill.she wasn't and it upset me more when the ward cheered when she was discharged!!we saw a councillor in the end and he said just keep saying "stop that crying" like you are a broken record don't give her any other attention other than stop that crying.she kicked off cos she wanted his stethoscope and i said GO ON THEN STOP HER CRYING after a long long while of him trying he said obviously you have to be persistent lol.anyway it did work eventually.i was also told its cos she was very intelligent and didn't have the vocabulary to express what she wanted so she cried with frustration!
it turned out she is very clever,she is 15 now and i still cant stand the sound of a crying kid,i never got over the dread of that noise starting.in fact i used to say blood* hell she is awake cos she would wake up crying!she is still the biggest moaner of my three kids but she does it verbally now not crying although if she cant get her point over she still resorts to tears.i had 3 kids aged 4 and under so you can imagine i was besides myself to have a kid that demanded so much attention also i didn't want the baby to think it was normal!!my heart goes out to you.good luck.
2007-02-09 02:15:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are taking hte wrong approach. Maybe she feels she's not getting enough attention and has to cry all the time to get it from you. Perhaps you should try a different parenting approach. Spend some one on one time with her and be sure to praise her when she "behaves" for you. As far as the temper tantrums and crying goes the best thing to do is ignore it. if you don't feed into it she will get no respone and quit. "Eventually." But you have to stick to it. Children need stability in their lives- you can't keep flip flopping back and forth between parenting sytles. Good luck.
2007-02-09 02:01:12 · answer #5 · answered by yummymummy 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell her no very firmly and walk away. If she follows you, go somewhere else. My three year old did this. He would throw down on the floor kicking and screaming, I just walked off. He would literally get up and follow me, and throw himself back down, eventually he realized it didn't work and stopped. Stand your ground. It will be hard, but don't give into her, because you are teaching her if she cries enough she gets her way.
2007-02-09 02:29:13 · answer #6 · answered by kc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try reading
Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood
Practical Parenting from Birth to 6 years
by: Jim Fay and Charles Fay Ph.D
2007-02-09 01:58:38 · answer #7 · answered by Renee B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
put her in the garage or basement. turn up the music. let her miss a meal or two till she shuts up. make certain that any toxic substances are not where she can reach them. don't leave car keys in the car.
2016-03-09 05:47:31 · answer #8 · answered by Fruth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though it bothers you, you have to behave like the crying doesn't faze you. Walk away from her and tell her you need her to talk to you, not cry like an infant.
My daughter is three and does that a bit. I just tell her to stop and count to 3, she stops. If she didn't I'd send her to timeout.
2007-02-09 02:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
As bad it may sound to the thousands who disagree with it, like was said first, a pop on the butt. Give her a reason to cry. Worked with my son when he threw his little fits. Just took a couple times. When he started, all it took was, "you want a real reason to cry" and he quit.
Sounds like she's after attention. Little brother gets it all, at least she thinks so.
2007-02-09 02:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋