2007-02-09 01:26:04 · 22 answers · asked by marie29 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How fantastic to find you have a nephew or Grandchild.
2007-02-09 01:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by : 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well first of all to the ones who said "why would you disrupt the Fathers life" Im laughing my *** off trying to figure out why he disrupted his OWN damn life. Now here's the thing, he CAN NOT quit paying you unless he wants to go to jail. If the payments are NOT court ordered, do this immediately, then you can have the money taken straight out of his check. Secondly I wouldn't tell my son anything UNTIL I talked to the grandparents and make sure they want to be a part of his life BEFORE you change his because you don't want him feeling rejected if they choose not to accept him. I would also make sure the grandparents know their son has told you if you come forward he will stop with his payments, maybe if they are compassionate people they will figure out a way to either help you with their son (the low life that he is) or they will keep your secret safe. I think it is sad that your son and the grandparents have wasted 9 yrs without knowing one another. I think though it is a much sadder situation that you have tried to deal with all this alone. But I would also like to say you are a fine person for raising your son alone. There are so many others that would have aborted or adopted out their child. You are already a step ahead of so many people. Good Luck in whatever you choose!!!
2016-05-24 00:49:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am I right to assume you are still with the father. If this is the case I would arrange a meeting with them asap and tell them the full truth. Expect lots of questions for the delay in telling them and try to be kind in your answers. Hopefully they will want to make up for lost time and if this is not the case - then leave it and carry on as you have been. Does your son know he has grandfolks, because that would need a different approach.
2007-02-09 03:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say why after 9 years, you decided that the boy's father side of the family should know. You will need to get your courage up. Go over to their house and tell them. Don't bring the boy until you know how they will react. Remember, you have chosen to keep his son from him for 9 years, so you may get some hostility. They may think you are only after support, so keep this fact in mind.
2007-02-09 02:08:03 · answer #4 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh god wouldnt know where to start i'm in the same boat myself my son is 7 however i dont want his side to know his father made the decision not to be involved and miss out on the best thing of his life therefore he gave up his families rights. i personally would never want to get in touch but my son has started to ask so you never know one day i might have to.
i suppose maybe write a letter to them with a pic of your son in it explaining everything and leave your number and address and say you'd like to meet, maybe send it to the mother.
but to be honest i dont think there is a "best" way to do this no matter what way you do it it'll be hard on both you and the family so just go for it.
good luck x
2007-02-09 01:55:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well really it is down to the fathers responsilbility to tell his family, but at the same time you are depriving your son from meeting his grandparents, uncles and aunties etc. And later on in his life he wil be asking you why? there fore i would get in contact with his father and tell him that he has got such sucha time maybe a month. to tell his family otherwise you are going to introduce your son to his family. if you do have to then the best way about it is going to the family house and explaining who you are at thedoor step and say that this is your grandson. at the end of the day why should your son suffer good luck
2007-02-09 04:18:38 · answer #6 · answered by carlkayleykain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no 'best way' this child has existed for 9 years without their knowledge, think of everything they have missed and then consider how you would feel if you found out you had a 9 year old grandchild I know I would be completely shattered.
You just have to come clean and prepare yourselves for the backlash I am afraid, it is going to happen no matter how you tell them, hopefully they will be able to overcome their hurt in time and be a part of this little boy's life.
2007-02-09 01:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by Smoochy Poochy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to consider the bigger pic, Im in exactly same boat. (child same age too.) The dad wanted nothing to do with my son, never told his family. Ive never lied to my son, if he asks questions I give him the answers (ok so I havent exactly told him that we were both abandoned) I have kept records for my son so when is old enough to decide if he wants to see his Dad I have enough info that he should be able to trace him, Im aware several years ago that is Dads parents suffered some ill health, and I can obviously see that for him to have his Complete family in his life would have positves about it, but I can also see the negatives mostly all to do with my son having a disability and one that effects his self esteem, he may only have one set of biological relatives actively envolved in his life but I consider that to be his fathers loss, my partners family consider him as part of the family, I dont think he has lost out on having his natural father around, he has male role models and has had stability through out his life from me. If you can see the positves out weighing the negatives baring in mind your sons age and you truly want to do this I guess if you have trouble finding the words, Send them a kind of journal, an introduction to your son, D.O.B, baby photo, pictures from over the years and little bits about your child etc , finish it with an invitation. The invitation is for them to get to know your son, finish it with a pic of you your son and his father, if you have one. It make take some time for the shock to wear off, but make sure you keep it positve for your son, be prepared they may reject you both even after all this time.
Good Luck
2007-02-09 02:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well my question is why don't they know? Did the father even know? Why is it important all of a sudden now to tell them after the kid is already 9? I want you to post another question telling the story behind this question.
2007-02-09 01:31:09 · answer #9 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your sons father, does he know that he has a son? If he does then he needs to tell his family about him, if he doesn't or won't then you can go to someone in his family, his mom or dad, and let them know. They have a right to know that they have a grandson!
2007-02-09 01:30:19 · answer #10 · answered by hockey_chick44 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be open and honest with them, but be prepared for questions. They'll, naturally, want to know why you've waited so long to tell them about your son. Don't be offended by the questions, just be honest. Good luck!
2007-02-09 01:30:09 · answer #11 · answered by grandm 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋