what should i do to punish my kid?

Question

my son has been a real brat lately and he won't respond when i yell at him or tell him to go into time out. he is 11 years old. should i just use a newspaper or what?

he doesn't listen when i talk to him, he trashes the house, and he just got into trouble for bullying someone at school.

Answer 1

There is a huge difference between abuse and discipline!! Kids Today are a direct result of the "time out" generation! There is nothing wrong with physically disciplining your children! Kids today are not afraid of nor do they respect adults because guess what? Time out doesn't work!!!! Also I am 28 so its not like I'm just some old guy who misses the "good old days"

Answer 2

Two words stick out like a sore thumb! Yell and tell. Children are little people from day one who crave the same love, respect, guidance, understanding, consideration, affection etc that adults do only they can not make logical sense of things (especially emotions) yet. Their senses are fully developed but their understanding will come through guidance and example. You say your son was suspended for bullying which brings me back to yell and tell. You have not spoken and reasoned with your son from an early age...you have yelled and told. I hope you take a bit of criticism well because yelling and telling is what bully's do. Calm down and respect your sons rights (freedom of speech mainly); you might both pleasantly surprise each other.

Answer 3

Dog=newspaper
Kid=grounding at age 11.

He's way too old for time out!! That doesn't work past about the age of 5. Yelling is never going to work. My guess would be that you need to spend more quality time with him that doesn't involve tv or video games. When he misbehaves, take away priveledges one at a time. Give them back when he earns them back. Be sure and tell him how long he has lost the priveledge. For my kids, if they were 11, they'd lose their playstation for 11 days depending on the infraction. Lose the tv for 11 days, or something. The punishment should fit the age bracket and seriousness of the "crime".

Answer 4

have 3 boys, 30, 27 and 22; I was too crazy when they were young about things like this, or the fighting b/t siblings or the dirty room ; or not eating; or not listening and now that they are grown and gone; I wish that I had not made such big issues out of things; I wished that I didn't punish as much; so many things; if I can pass something on to you, I wish that I hugged more; tried to be more understanding; loved more, laughed more ; were silly with them ; played with them more; did more things with them; shared more; talked more ; just sit on the couch and watch what they wanted sometimes more than my needs; find a better way; have him help you; let him pick what he wants once in a while; cook together; giving lots of hugs and kisses; I can't change; I can't go back but you have these opportunities in your hand; I hope that this helps!!! I miss my boys, I miss the mess; I miss the noise; I miss their smiling little faces ; I miss them!!!

This name calling is your child , your loved one, your offspring; please give more love than he can handle; no hitting , find a way to set the boundaries without hitting; when was the last time you gave him a hug and just talked to him or did something with him; try try try ; I wish you luck to better communication with him. Life is too short !

Answer 5

Well, I wouldn't respond well to someone yelling at me either. If this has recently started, I would suggest sitting down and thinking about if anything in his life has changed. I'm not sure of your situation, but if both parents are in the home has someone gotten a new job and is working later? Has their been arguing or a divorce (kids are sensitive to this and have a way of making it their fault even though it isn't)? Has their been a death in the family?

What about school life? Is there something he is not telling you about school....Like is he being bullied? There are many things to make a child act out like that and you have to find the problem to make a solution.

If you can't come up with anything I would proceed to the next step which would be sitting him down and telling him that he can talk to you about ANYTHING. Your door is always open and if something is going on you want to know so he doesn't have to carry the burden all by himself. And you love him and want to help him and want him to feel happy. He may not tell you right away but eventually he'll come around. You will just need to be patient. But if he doesn't feel like talking about it then, don't push him to tell you. Just tell him you will be ready to help when he feels like talking about it. But that in the mean time he still has to be respectful to you and your feelings, you are just trying to help, and you are his mother and we don't treat our mother's that way.

I'm sure he'll come around! Just give it a LOT of thought and patience! If you yell or spank its just going to make it worse, he'll feel that he can't talk to you. And you want him to open up. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

First, take away his toys. Then his tv. Then his gaming system.

Every child has a weakness and you just need to find it. For example, when I was 8 and I was bad my mum cleared all of the books out of the house because I LOVED to read. Then when I began to act even worse she cleared everything out of my room except my clothes, furniture, a clock and an alarm clock. If I wanted anything, I had to go ask her for it because it was locked in the guest bedroom.

That was the only time that happened because it is not fun to have to ask your parents for EVERYTHING.

Also, yelling at him to go to timeout won't do anything. Take his arm and lead him to his room. If he comes out, tell him he added 5 minutes to his time out and take him up again, and again, and again. Obviously yelling won't do anything so start a different approach to punishment.

Answer 7

Time out at 11? lol 1st, off take control of your child back by not yelling. 2nd, find a punishment to fit the crime. I use writing alot with my 12 year old. I make him write about what he has done wrong and why it is wrong. It makes them think about their actions and what other choices they may have made. IT is good to show them that they are not bad but have made poor choices to get themselves into the situation.

Answer 8

no, vandalism and yelling won't work...that's not the way of parenting. u should b patient when u corresponding with ur kid , try to talk with him politely , maybe if u feel uncomfortable to tallk nicely with him, write a letter, a siincere letter , tell him what u been thinking about what he did...give him some time to think over his mistakes...i think this way is better than using newspaper, right?

Answer 9

at that age you should think about taking most of his favorite things from him. Then give him something to do around the house like cleaning his room and helping you a little around the house like the bathrooms and the kitchen and each time he gets something done let him have one of his favorite items back but only one.

And he is at that age where he likes to be with others his age you might want to look into some of the family gyms like the YMCA and see what they have for kids his age.

Answer 10

GROUND HIM. But, you can't do it now. You have to do it right after he misbehaves. Don't use the newspaper, it won't help. If you're gonna smack him, do it with the back of your hand. It lets him know who's boss. Take away some of his privileges. If he is a videogame fanatic, take them away. If he likes to talk to his friends online, take it away. The best thing you can do is be firm and stand by your position.