My girlfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years. We live together and are planning our commitmnet ceremony for this summer. Long story short we've had this reacurring issue about her ex. Last year i found text messages from the two of them about how much they love eachother and a bunch of stupid things.
Oh yeah before i forget. Like 6 months before the text message thing a friend of mine and i hacked into her voicemail and listened to messages of the two of them scheduling to meet at hotels.
After all the yelling and fighting she continues to assure me that i'm the only one for her she wants to spend her life with me, and she and the ex are just friends they were serious before and she still has love for her but is not in love with her (um hum)
Anyhow Its been about 8 months since we "worked things out" and things looked like they were going great, that is until i got our cell phone bill last night. The ex's # is called all day everyday. Every am @ 7:30 & all day.
2007-02-09 00:59:09 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have NO trust in the relationship or you wouldn't be hacking into her voice mail.
Is she that stupid to think you wouldn't look at the cell phone bill? Did she try to hide the bill from you?
Obviously, she still has feelings for this other person and needs to work through them.
I would take a time out from the relationship so she can sort out her feelings. Better to do that now then after the commitment ceremony!
2007-02-09 01:07:41 · answer #1 · answered by maj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not have a relationship without trust. You need to find someone else. Infedelity is usually something that does not change quickly if at all. If you find that you have to do things like hack into their voicmail, then you already know that there is a huge problem. A good relationship would never make you feel like need to snoop around, and if this is normal behavior for you to snoop around, then you may drive the person away just by doing this. Get out now, and find someone that doesn't make you feel you have to check up on them.
2007-02-09 01:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by robsgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing you can do is talk to her, you've been together a long time and you dont want to throw everything away when it really could be nothing and they are they just friends. talk to her, tell her how you feel and why there are so many calls to her ex. tell her that your feeling like you cant trust her and without trust you have nothing ! tell her that if she continues to call and see her ex then your gonna leave because you've had enough of feeling like she doesnt love you and that she's cheating ! she she chooses to still be friends with her ex then im sorry but you can do so much better and you dont want to marry someone who is not only commited to you. i wish you luck and i hope that she's stops being stupid and relises that she could lose the best thing thats ever happened to her. good luck x x x let me know how you get on vickithorpe1984@yahoo.co.uk
2007-02-09 01:08:29 · answer #3 · answered by vicki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you love her but it isn't meant to be. If someone will do that to you and they claim they love and want to spend the rest of their life with you they have to be lying. You don't scheldue to meet with your ex at hotels, you don't call him all day everyday even if ya'll are friends. Although you were wrong for doing what you did by hacking into her stuff you deserved to know the truth. Now you know it so it's time for you to find somebody else that actually does want to be with you because they love you. Plus all she was doing was holding you back from the person you're really suppose to be with so let her be and just don't pay her any mind. I mean ignore her completely.
2007-02-09 01:05:54 · answer #4 · answered by vanessa k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say but there is more than meets the eye there. Thats a sign when things are being hidden from you and not brought out on her own. I suggest you post pone wedding plans, not good to get stuck in marriage with that crap going on...You get devorced and everything you worked for just got flushed down the toilet. Why rush marriage...It is just a piece of paper, nothing more. The committment is from the heart not the paper! remember that.
But the committment is only coming from one in this situation.
2007-02-09 01:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by txlonghaul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is hard to find someone......but you need to walk away from this one. Just be thankful you didn't give her more than 2 years of your life. Your commitment ceremony will mean a hell of alot more with someone who truly loves you. This ceremony will have to much crap attached to it. This ceremony is a huge milestone in your life, don't give it away so freely, to someone who is not going to take it serious. You have women's intuition, otherwise you wouldn't have been suspicious in the first place. Go with your gut feeling. I know its hard, but you have to act on it and quit wasting your time and energy on someone of such low character. You are letting her make the decisions for your life...why? She can't even make a decision on her own life. Let her go and find a new woman who will love every inch of you inside and out. Hope this helps and good luck.
2007-02-09 01:23:12 · answer #6 · answered by t f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. She wants her cake and eat it too. she wants to remain with a boyfriend and keep a lover on the side. It makes her feel powerful. If you marry or stay with this girl she will use you and not respect you. I have been told that a woman was having an affair because she could. And she told me well the guy is stupid and believes her even though he has all the proof. She is playing you for stupid. I am sorry.
2007-02-09 01:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by ALunaticFriend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friend, the answer might not be pleasant to u; but i say that u deserve someone better. she doesnt deserve your love. u have given her too many chances. i dont think u need to do this again. afterall, the only thing u have done is to love her nd give ur love another chance. arent u lucky that u managed to find out the truth before ur marriage? its time to say goodbye. u need to talk to her. tell her how much you aredisappointed with her. try to end everything in a peaceful manner. it my take sometime, but the wound will heal afterall. all the very best to u.
PS. i wont call u a stupid. but i will say that u haev given her too many chances. not many people will have the heart to do such a thing.
2007-02-09 01:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by lilac4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey what are you still doing with her? I don't know you but I'll give you the same advice I'd give my child. There are many way's to live your life, being someones doormat is not one of them. If you want joy and happiness in your life don't stick with second best and don't be made to feel like you have no worth or intelligence. Speak to someone you trust who you believe would not be biased either way and knows you both. I wish you the best in finding personal happiness
2007-02-09 01:10:50 · answer #9 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like she wants to "sit on two chairs at the same time".
Don't allow her to make decisions for you, such as whether she'll eventually stay with you or go for someone else.
Make up your mind and stick with it. I know it's hard to break up from someone that you love, but sometimes that's the best way - for you, don't worry about her. It seems like she's not all that worried about your feelings.
Good luck with everything.
2007-02-09 01:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by tamara_cyan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋