After being in a series of bad relationships and taking a break from the dating scene, I've met a guy who is nice, has everything going for him, etc. I've been on one date with him thus far and as much as I liked him as a person, I just don't feel any romantic connection with him. Physically he is not my type, but I tried to look past that, but there really isn't anything about him which makes me want to pursue a relationship with him, although he's a cool guy and I'd love to just have him as a friend. After being burned in the past by jerks, I feel that maybe I should give this guy a chance since he's a good person, but a part of me feels that if there aren't any sparks from the beginning, it is not worth pursuing this and forcing myself to grow to like him. Though I'm scared of letting him go and then meeting other jerks which will make me regret having let him go. What should I do? Also, if I were to turn him down, how should I do it w/o hurting him? Serious responses only, please!
2007-02-09 00:54:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't date him. its very obvious you don't want to but you think you SHOULD coz he's nice and all that. never date a person on such a flimsy basis. find someone you can confidently say you like being with...mind, body AND soul...not just intellectually. trust me on this.
2007-02-09 01:02:00 · answer #1 · answered by Moyo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Romance is often not immediate. When I met the woman who is now my wife, she was dating someone else and I was pursuing other people. We were simply, "just friends." She broke up with her boyfriend and began taking an interest in me. We still hung out all the time, but it wasn't "like that" for me until much later. One day, while on tour with our college music ministry, it just "clicked." We've been in love since then, going on 4 years. :)
The moral of my story is that I didn't have romantic fuzzies for her from day one. I thought of her as my good friend who was kinda cute, but not like HOT. In fact, it was our natural ability to just "hang out" that really appealed to both of us. Needless to say, the romance grew.
For your situation, I'd say give him another few dates. If you're still not feeling it, ask him how he feels. Maybe he's not feelin' it either. He may end up being your best friend in a "brotherly" way rather than as a husband. However, if he still is interested, you may want to explain that there's nothing there "like that" and even if it takes him a few months, he'll get over it. Don't expect to let him down and have him be cool with it right away. Hopefully, for both of you, things will just "click" on the next date or two. :)
Hope that helps. Good luck in the singles' world!!!
2007-02-09 09:03:03 · answer #2 · answered by bluebelly83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, keep looking. When the right one comes along you will know it.
1. You wont want to depart from him from the very start if he's the right one.
2.You'll since this from him, too.
Be careful with this feeling though. Don't you even think of telling him you love him or even say the marriage word-you could scare him off. Let him make all the first moves-this is safer-and if he never seems to be moving towards anything like that he probaly never will. A lot of people can be nice to-but you don't have to date them. Be patient he will come.
2007-02-09 09:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just remain friends with him. You sound like you already know what you want to do but only follow what you really want to do inside. If it was meant to happen then it will happen in time. Tell him that you have tried to explore you feeling for him and you have no romantic feelings for him but tell him you want him to be your friend and you never know what may happen in the future. Because my friend was in the same situation 10 years ago and she is now married to her best friend and could have never asked for a better start with her husband.
2007-02-09 09:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by killerqueen917 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have been burnt in the past does not mean that you now go for a person who doen not give you sparks.Dont deny youself the happiness that you deserve.Please find the right person who will not hurt you but will give you sparks as well.
2007-02-09 09:09:15 · answer #5 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As in preventing forest fires, "only you" can decide.
I don't know how much importance a "physical type" should have for a woman, because whomever you choose, someone will always have a better physique. And as far a romance, that's also a pretty shallow or false notion.
2007-02-09 09:00:04 · answer #6 · answered by Joe C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you think is best. If you start to go out with him and find out your not interested the only thing you would accomplish would be hurting him. If your not romantically attracted to him maybe you should just be friends.
2007-02-09 09:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by Adam K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have just answered your own question more than once. You don't feel anything for him romantically, but you'd love to have him as a friend. It might be the best if that's how you go.
2007-02-09 08:59:26 · answer #8 · answered by tamara_cyan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to give him another chance. Sparks don't always come on the first date. Maybe he was nervous and wasn't be himself. Get to know him a little more and then make your decision.
2007-02-09 08:59:41 · answer #9 · answered by Steph E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You only had one date with him, I doubt that he would be crushed if you didn't see him again.
If there is no chemistry there, then there just ins't chemistry. You can't force that.
Maybe you shoul sleep with him and see how it is. I mean, you wouldn't buy shoes without trying them on first would you?
2007-02-09 09:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by Work is for Busters 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋