can u be friends w/ an ex? my ex and i broke up 1 and a half years ago but we've hooked up since then, but he maintains he has no feelings for me, but he charms me every time! we've always agreed to leave it as just friends (which isn't what i want, but iv really got no choice) but we still hook up after a while. he goes through phases where he wants to hook up...i dunno. i still really want him and no matter how much it hurts i always give in. his actions aren't consistent w/ what he's saying he feels. Do u think he's lying to me (if so why?)
is it possible to be friends w/ this guy?
2007-02-09 00:39:56 · 11 answers · asked by o o g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its not like he's had heaps of experience "playing the field" i was his first and he hasnt been w/ anyone else
2007-02-09 00:54:26 · update #1
yep now that u mention, we're meeting up in a few days..for coffee though nothing seedy
2007-02-09 00:55:53 · update #2
sure why not.
2007-02-09 00:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be friends with an ex. One of my closest friends is one of my ex's. We were better off as friends than as a couple. The only way being friends with an ex will work is if neither of the people have romantic feelings for the other anymore. You don't sound like you are there yet. In this situation I would advise you to run not walk away from this guy. He will keep coming back and using you and hurting you. Because you still have feelings for him you can't tell him no. Stay away from him or you will end up miserable. I'm sorry. I know that isn't what you wanted to hear but I think you already knew the answer yourself.
2007-02-09 08:49:03 · answer #2 · answered by navy wife 1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That guy sounds like a man I was in love with years ago! The relationship was on and off for several years, and I genuinely loved him while he simply didn't feel the same. I finally had to get determined and stay determined to stay away from him (no emails, no phone calls, no "dates"). This was very difficult, but I did it. If I saw him today, I would get weak in the knees and tempted but I am confident that my mind is trained well enough so that I know I won't risk getting involved with him again. It doesn't seem like this guy is interested in you other than the occasional hook-up, and that is enough to warrant not seeing him again, based on the strong feelings you have for him. My opinion is it's not probable that you two can be friends at this point. On the other hand, it is possible to remain friends with an ex after the "feelings" phase is completely over, if you two have established a great friendship prior to the romantic involvement. Good luck!
2007-02-09 08:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by NC Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's telling you just enough of what you want to hear in order to keep you on the line. Guys do this all of the time. Well, some do. Anyway, he is telling you the truth in one area - he has no feelings for you. Guys have a much easier time of having sex with someone without the emotional attachment. We always need it - even if we deny it.
Your best bet is to sever the relationship. You will save yourself years of heartache and longing.
2007-02-09 08:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by Jasper213 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to be friends with an ex under rare circumstances only. However, this particular guy is simply using you. He knows that you will give in to his advances and he toys with your emotions to keep you available. The best thing you could do is simply cut all ties with him. You deserve much better than he will ever give you.
2007-02-09 08:45:43 · answer #5 · answered by fly guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes you can be friends with an ex if you both are in the right frame of mind for that.but he sounds like he just wants to keep you around for a quick roll in the hay when he dosnt have anyone else to mess with.you should cut him loose and move on.you deserve better.good luck.
2007-02-09 08:45:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are keeping you heart on the line which isnt so so safe because you like him. Friendship would be there and he may genuinely feel nothing at the moment but feelings may rekindle but dont count on that, to avoid getting hurt
2007-02-09 08:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just rip the band-aid off once and don't reapply it to remove it again and again...
Don't go there!
If you feel you are being used, you are probably right. Ask yourself, what is he getting out of this and what am I getting out if it?
You won't like the answer but it is exactly what is happening to you!
2007-02-09 08:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ive been there and its just a nightmare its like they want you one minute don't the next. i think its about them wanting to know that they can have you if they want you. Does he ever want to meet up when you ring him?
2007-02-09 08:51:34 · answer #9 · answered by kazz06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can be friends, but not with benefits. Draw a line with him, and stand firm.
2007-02-09 08:45:56 · answer #10 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The TRUTH: You can never be just 'friends' with an ex. Trust me on this one.
2007-02-09 08:42:13 · answer #11 · answered by Yvonne Mystic 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋