My ex and I broke up in Sept. since then we have gone thru
the steps, angry, hurt, etc...now he has been calling..leaving messgaes...we finally talked, one minute he wants to get back, the next he is telling me what I did wrong...We both made mistakes,
I am learning from mine. We were together for 4 years, isn't it
worth at least talking to him? How do I go about putting the past
behind us and starting over. He tells me how sad he is, how much
he thinks about me..etc...
How do I see if he wants a fresh start for us?
2007-02-09 00:25:23 · 15 answers · asked by wicktjw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
depending on the situation of who hurt who and who broke it off first. Ur not really telling the big part of situation so i really couldn't answer that at this point. but i do have a lot of knowledge about this subject I'm in a five year relationship that's had a lot of ups and downs.
yim me @ jadiva20 and i can give u some advice.
2007-02-09 00:51:01 · answer #1 · answered by SEXCITAZ23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to do is see if you really want a fresh start with him. Ignoring the past is impossible and trying to dooms you to repeat it. Think long and hard about what went wrong on both sides the last time and ask yourself if you want to try again. If you are willing to give him another chance, start off slow. Meet for a lunch date or a day at the park. When your together, listen to him. Listen to more than just what he says, listen to what he means. Watch his body language, emotions and tones. Anyone can say any words they want without meaning it. Do not allow him to push the blame onto you (I say this if it was not something you did such as cheating). If he seems truly sincere, then take another step forward. The key is to start completely over. Treat it as though it were a brand new relationship. Take the time to get to know each other like any new relationship. If he is sincere, it will be evident and the relationship will have a chance to grow and blossom. If he is not, then it is time to cut the ties. I wish you all the best.
2007-02-09 00:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by fly guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you do not transform, you transmit.
What introspection and soul searching have you both done concerning your relationship?
Read and incorporate into your daily life " The Four Agreements" for two months and see if you still feel the same way about wanting to be in an echo of the past. "
don't make assumptions
Don't take anything personally
Be impeccable with your Word.
Always do your best.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again with the same results. Are the patterns in your relationship, the fights, the arguments still the same? If so, makes no difference if he wants you you'll be stepping back into the same story, diffferent time.
Read Smalley/Trent's book....Five Love Languages.
You might find you don;t want to go back...
2007-02-09 00:51:48 · answer #3 · answered by gracefull 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u will have to begin all over again, as if the relationship were brand new, and try not to make the same mistakes that caused the breakup in the first place, yes it is worth talking to him about it, if u never talk about it u can't know what he is thinking. he seems to be sad wanting u back and wanting the relationship to work. u just have to remember all the things that broke u up in the first place and try to work them out or put them in the past. just call him if u don't u will never know.
2007-02-09 00:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he continues to point out what you did wrong in the past shows that he has not moved on or grown as you say you are trying to do. It is not worth taking the time to talk to him if he is stuck at this stage. He will continue to blame you and your faults will be thrown into future arguments. Tell him only once he learns to get over the past can you both continue into the future.
2007-02-09 00:44:00 · answer #5 · answered by w2kaad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a life and let your ex move with is life suppose he doesn't want you back and then you just embarrassed yourself when you go back to and want to start a relationship that has already ended along time ago. think before you act be a friend to ex and finds out if he wants a fresh start.
2007-02-09 00:37:24 · answer #6 · answered by kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl why did you'll break up, i for one don't go back on a decision like that. Because you had your reasons for breaking up in the first place.But there are those who make it work.So my answer to handling this is,be straight up, just tell him i want you back, and ask him what does he think. From the sounds of it if you'll are still playing the blame game you'll shouldn't be getting back together.but good luck any how.
2007-02-09 00:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by pvy_crazy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
asking the person probably will not work. Most likely the will denie that they still have a thing for you. From personal experiences I have found that I could tell if my ex wanted me back by his actions. Actions tell it all!
2007-02-09 00:36:14 · answer #8 · answered by LaLa-Jay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him and yourself some space. In that time, he might start wanting you back, but you might find out that you deserve better. Only time will tell. If things were meant to be, you will gravitate back towards one another.
2007-02-09 05:47:15 · answer #9 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him and if i was in ur situation i would go back out with him if u really love him and if he was the person i want back i would go back out with him in a heart beat.
2007-02-09 00:30:31 · answer #10 · answered by chickie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋