I'm 22, live in NYC, I'm a very good looking guy but I think what I need is just more confidence. I haven't had sex in a year and a half, it's been killing me, can't "do it by myself" forever, I want to be able to go out to bars/clubs and have some safe, sane, and fun one night stands just like other guys do (not looking for relationships right now, f*** buddy is a different story). The thing is they say you shouldn't go to bars/clubs by yourself, I don't have anyone I to go with, a lot of the people I know always have other plans and crap or they procrastinate and back out the last minute. I don't have a "wingman" like all you other guys do. One time I went to a club by myself, the line was long, when I was next on line, the person admitting people in asked the group in front of me if I was with them, they said no, I felt so embarrassed cuz I was the only one on line by myself, everyone looked at me funny.
So I don't know what to do, I keep looking at hookers on craigs list and what not but keep hesitating because I don't want to pay for sex, but at the same time I don't want to go to a bar all nervous and not know what I'm doing. I know how to carry a conversation with women but I just need more help initiating and "closing the deal". I know what you're all thinking, if I'm good looking then girls would be chasing me and I'd have no problem, well yeah I get a few compliments here and there but they are rare and usually don't go nowhere. And trust me, I'm not ugly, not to sound conceited, but I know I'm not and have pics to prove it. I don't mind going to a bar by myself as long I know what I'm doing, but I think it's going to be difficult, there will be some guys hogging all the attention, and even worse there will be girls who are not by themselves which makes them harder to approach.
So I'm lost here. Hookers are the last route I wanna go down because of the money, I feel like good looking guys shouldn't have to pay for it. But I'm getting real desperate and dont know what to do.
Any advice? I'd appreciate some thoughtful responses please, no offense, I know a lot of folks on here like to joke around with funny one-line responses and what not, and I will admit a lot of them are laughout loud hilarious, I have no prob with you guys, but I'm really looking for something insightful here though. Thanks, I'd really appreciate it.
2007-02-09 00:01:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh, another thing.... one of the reasons I haven't had sex in 1 1/2 year is because, well like I said I'm too scared to go to bars by myself, but I've been trying the online route as well (myspace, craigs list, etc.) and it doesn't work out as much as people say it does.
Theres an advantage cuz you can read the person's profile and have some knowledge about what they're like and what theyre into beforehand, but truth be told, girls appear to be WAY MORE cautious about meeting guys from online than in person, no matter how much they know about you or how many pics you have. It's difficult enough in some cases to move from the emailing/instant messaging phase to the phone convo phase. Plus, it seems like not many women like to follow through when you talk to them online, they'll message you back once in a while or just read your message and that's it. You can't tell what their agenda is or why they do what they do.
So I think online is more difficult, otherwise I'd be lucky now.
2007-02-09 01:30:11 · update #1
Dude, it sounds to me like you are not the one night stand kind of guy. Trust me I'm 27 and recently divorced and had a dry spell too. I was in the same boat. I realized that the reason I couldn't hook up is because that just isn't my style and trying to force it made the wait harder (no pun intended). You would be better off finding a "friend with benefits". Only problem is you can't just meet one on the street. And stay away from the hookers dude. No self respecting man should ever have to pay for it good looking or not. One other piece of advise make damn sure you clean the pipes before your new first time. Otherwise it might be your last with that girl.
2007-02-09 00:13:20 · answer #1 · answered by The Don 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I understand being sexually frustrated but honestly, you have as just as much chance of contracting AIDS or any other STD by picking up someone at a bar as you would a hooker. I know, there may be many who’d disagree but this is why I said that. What I the difference between a promiscuous person and a hooker other than the fact that a hooker is being paid for sex?
Look man, honestly – I know you don’t want to have a serious relationship but people are not like dogs. We don’t go around sniffing butts just to get a few bumps in the tail – then left to the side like discarded waste. If you want a one night stand – with someone other than a hooker - you are going to have to some kind of relationship with a person. IF (big) you are able to find such a person (who is of sound mind) who is willing to sleep with you – no strings attached – I’d not think very highly of them personally. Obviously they have no respect for themselves. I just cant be with someone who has no self respect. Then again – you are just looking at getting a piece of meat – right… So what matter does it make?
Bottom line – respect yourself enough to actually know the person you are going to sleep with. There are too many STDs in the world today for anyone to assume that “it’ll never happen to me”. If you are under such thinking – save yourself the time and anguish and invest into your local pimp.
You use things for personal gratification – people (women) are not things. Perhaps this is why you have gone a year and a half without being able to “get laid”!
2007-02-09 00:17:49 · answer #2 · answered by texaspride1977 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to look at why you feel the way you do. Then decide if that is how you want your life to be. Seek help from friends and if necessary see a councillor. The most important thing is not to set time limits and deadlines. You have to get comfortable with the idea of sex. A bad experience shouldn't hold you hostage forever. It isn't healthy. Here I include everything not juts sex.
2016-03-28 23:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should meet some friends first, go to places to make friends then you will have someone to go with you. I can understand what your saying completely, luckily i met my gf at school, so it was easier to get to know her, and we are still together now. You just need to not feel under pressure, and have a good night out. If you do go out on your own, don't think 'I'm on the pull', think 'I'm just going to have a good time'. Hope i've helped!
2007-02-09 00:08:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are asking for trouble. Living without sex will not kill you but one night stands with a stranger you just met at a club or a prostitute is like playing Russian Roulette. It COULD kill you or at least leave you with a disease that you have to deal with the rest of your life.
2007-02-09 00:13:21 · answer #5 · answered by OOO! I know! I know! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The right place for sex is in a marriage and so if you want it everday then mary.There are so many women who want to get married.You cant get free sex from someone who is not your wife unless those who do not value their bodies and want to give it to everyone.These probably are even sick and if you dont want to get sick please mind the type of people you have sex with.
2007-02-09 00:09:45 · answer #6 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give me your address...I'm looking for a ***** buddy too...
I'm just kidding...
Seriously dude, don't get a hooker; that's nasty and can be dangerous. Try Match.com or something, and just let them know that you want to "have fun" and that you don't want a serious relationship
2007-02-09 00:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just go to the bars... no wonder you havent hade sex in 1 1/2 years you wrote a book for your question...
2007-02-09 00:06:43 · answer #8 · answered by T-Raw 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i feel sorry to you. maybe you should find a regular gf to hang out with and not just think how to get laid.. good luck.
2007-02-09 00:53:42 · answer #9 · answered by Arianne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have your friend do it for you, toss you a solid and get together or do the S#$%^. Or order one of those athentic K0ck$ for yourself.
2007-02-09 00:08:31 · answer #10 · answered by smoke_frm_apple 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋