my bf is still kinda married 3yrs but 2 mths after they seperated, we met 2yrs after. They can't divorce till 5yrs cuz she's a foreigner and she would have 2 leave.(thats why they married) he didn't want 2 but he did Now we are together and we can't have a life together cuz of her. She don't want to div. we really love each other we want to start a family together but we have to wait till they div. i quit my job so we can be 2gether now I want to continue school in the meanwhile but this would mean us not being together cuz we don't live in the same country. my bf is upset cuz he says i don't want to be with him and he can't be without me for so long. I love him but i dont see why i should get stuck in their mess. when they get divorced at least we can start life from somewhere instead of starting from scratch. I wouldn't be able to work where he lives or go to a good school just minor classes and i would have 2 leave every time when my stay is up. should we stick 2gether or go to sch.
2007-02-08 22:53:38 · 15 answers · asked by curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
**************BEST ANSWER****************
Well, this one's tough because there is no right answer.
The point is you knew the situation before you got into it - after he explained the situation. Therefore, it's hard to draw a line in the sand when you accepted his situation. Along with that, comes baggage - good and bad.
The answer is that you're going to have to make a decision/sacrifice.
That decision will be if you want to sacrifice the life that you know to accept HIS life and all that it entails - good and bad.
..or if you want to sacrifice your love for him and move forward without him - and the baggage. What I see from this is that you're not being fair to him by choosing not to accept his life - at THIS point. It's a little late in the game for that after investing energy, time, etc..
The ONLY decision that can be right is for you to be HONEST with him about how you feel. This would be fair and allowing him to assess your feelings and let the both of you conclude the best case for your relationship.
It may be good, but maybe not that good AT THIS POINT.
Good luck!
2007-02-08 23:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by HottNikkels 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a very complicated question, but to get a good answer you need to explain where each person is living. Does he live in the US with his wife and you in another country or vice-versa.
If you're in the US and he's overseas he must be in the military or some other government organization or else I don't think it is possible for his wife to gain citizenship while overseas. And if he's in the military he can't come home until his tour is over anyway. If neither person is American you have a whole set of different laws to deal with. If he's in the US and you're not then you there's no reason why you couldn't go to school there.
you really need to be more specific where everyone is if you want real help
2007-02-08 23:38:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-02 23:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow... serious thing... well, in my opinion, u should continue with ur school... and if he really loves you, he will understand... but if he doesnt want to understand, then its another thing... just tell him that u also need him as much as he needs u... besides, if u stayed with your boyfriend, that doesnt assure you that he will definitely choose u even after u have been waiting for him for a couple of years... things could change, and so does his heart... what are u gonna do if finally, after the long five years, he still doesnt choose u and want to stay with his current wife... thats a big risk to take, u know... and tell him that this is a chance to put ur relationship to a test... if u guys are meant to be together, finally fate will bring u back to him... just keep this in mind... its not worth it to risk all of your life just for someone who couldnt guarantee to make u happy...
2007-02-08 23:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by aurora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only person to make firm desions about ur life, I believe for the development , peace of mind,and ur future u have got to make a firm desision,the situaton seems very one sided to me, if u want to move on I think u should , and not allow anyone to play with ur emotions. Move on girl , move on and live ur life, life is too short to have sorrows, also ask God for giudence!.
2007-02-08 23:49:49 · answer #5 · answered by sister b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you owe his wife? Nothing. Do you care if she stays in the country? If they are just going to get divorced anyway, why does he care so much? You should tell him you are not going to wait three more years for him to get a divorce from his wife in a sham marriage. If he won't do it, maybe he's not worth waiting for.
2007-02-08 23:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by djstickylee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like too much baggage for such a young person, i would say go to school think of your future, and what you would have to give up,also what will it be like in two or three years, will he be ready for someone else, and leave you as he is leaving her? also kinda married is like being a little bit pregnant
2007-02-08 23:03:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO FIND YOURSELF. YOU SACRIFICED YOUR JOB FOR HIM,YET HE DOES NOT SEE THAT . YOU NEED TO GET YOUR LIFE ON TRACK BY FINISHING SCHOOL.YOU CANNOT LIVE ON LOVE.I KNOW IT WILL BE HARD TO BE WITHOUT HIM FOR A WHILE,BUT IF HE CARES THAT MUCH ABOUT HIS WIFE BEING DEPORTED THAT HE WILL SACRIFICE THE LOVE THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN HIM , THEN IT HE IS NOT WORTH WAITING AROUND FOR. GO TO SCHOOL!
2007-02-08 23:42:55 · answer #8 · answered by dragonlover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should find a new boy friend without all the baggage, he sounds like a loser to me.
2007-02-08 22:57:55 · answer #9 · answered by redhotboxsoxfan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is really bad and really sad....
a relationship that starts like that will only come back around..thats karma....
well you need to let that married man go..
2007-02-08 22:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by La'Grange 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋