Hello i am a 24 year old male and I am in the army and currently in iraq. I met a woman before i left and we had been dating for about 2 months when she told me she was pregrnant. I aksed her if she was sure it was mine and she said yes. About two months later she told me the baby was not mine and that the real father was a deadbeat. I agreed to accept the baby as my own child and told her to put my name on the birthcertificate.Before i left i brought everything for the baby.(crib and stuff) Well the baby was born and she put the fathers name on it. I went home on leave and found out that she was talking to him through myspace a little flirtashish. We broke up but since then we have started talking again and she says she wants to work it out. I love her so much but i dont know if i can trust her. I love that little girl so much and i dont know what to do somebody help me please. and by the way the female i am talking about is 19. somebody help me figure out what to do
2007-02-08 22:48:02 · 12 answers · asked by jay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Damn, that's a really hard one. First it sounds like you need to sit her down and ask her what she wants and where she sees the relationship going or if she does at all. Then explain why you are hurt. Chances are she isn't mature enough to even care and you might end up hurting like you are now. But the best you can do is try to talk to her. Tell her everything you just told us. I would also ask for a paternity test. it sounds like she doesn't even know who it belongs to, and this way if it is yours she cant keep you out of it's life. And if it's not you'll have the same amount of pain you do now.
I can't imagine the pain you are feeling now, and I'm sorry she was immature enough to put you in this situation. I hope this helps. Goodluck!
2007-02-08 23:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by batgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me just say, why would you be the father of a child that wasn't yours, to a mother you've only been dating 2 months? She is not someone you should love. She's just playing around. I wouldn't trust her. You get back together, and then you'll find Mr. Deadbeat dad, and he'll be with the child, or her. I'd say move one.
2007-02-08 22:53:46 · answer #2 · answered by Donovan G 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out quick!!! If she cheated on you, that's issue number one. That's a whole other issue. If you get your name on that birth certificate and/or adopt this kid - you'll be paying for her (the child) for the next 18 years. Being young right now, you may think it's all sweet and cute - but 10 years from now, you may regret what seems like a very noble decision right now.
Cut the legal ties - if you want to be around the kid, try to work it out so that you are friends with the mother and nothing more.
2007-02-08 22:55:32 · answer #3 · answered by pattitutde 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got used!
First of all they don't put fathers name of birth certs of children of unmarried mothers anymore without a DNA test. So you name couldn't have been put on the cert. Second, you knew her for 2 months and you say you love her very much, after she used you like that, lied to you about the paternity of her child, lied to you about being with her when you got home and you bought baby furniture, which is expensive.
I think you need to reassess this situation with this girl. She sounds like a user to me, a game player who will squeeze every penny out of you that she can. Run for the hills. This one is no good.
2007-02-08 22:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but it sounds like she's using you. Many 19 year olds have not grown up yet. It sounds like she is one of them. (She lied to you when she said she knew the child is yours)
GET RID OF HER
I agree with elite. See about paternity test. TO make sure the child is not yours. The mother can't be trusted. She could come back years from now and demand back child support.
2007-02-08 22:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by lefty 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is a user and its sad she has to put the baby in the middle
i say get a lawyer and you can get one from your unit for free
find out for sure if she is really yours and i would say get custody of her
it seems your gf is too immature to look after a baby and the baby will only get hurt later in life
2007-02-08 22:54:04 · answer #6 · answered by elite_women_rule_the_rock 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should feel lucky you didn't get stuck with this, it would be hard to get out from under it. I know it is hard for you to see this, but she lied to you at first, to keep you. then when she knew she had you she told you it wasn't yours, you step up to the plate, then while you where over there she cheated on you, she will never stay with you, she has problems you cant fix, be smart and move on.
2007-02-08 22:56:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, in case you place that date as concept date it supplies a due date of a million Dec. Being each week out is clever yet no longer just about 3 weeks. you will elect a DNA attempt to tutor it yet i do no longer think of it is yours.
2016-12-17 05:54:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away and don't look back. She is the worst mistake you can make in your life. You already know you can't trust her. Dude, don't screw this up. Leave her alone!!!! You'll find a better girl and make a better life for yourself.
2007-02-08 22:55:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
she is young and just not ready to be serious...
you need to find someone alot better...
2007-02-08 23:01:35 · answer #10 · answered by La'Grange 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋