How can I help this boy? He has no direction in life+will probably turn to crime/some negative way of living?

Question

I scribe for a 15 year old boy (4th year) in a class at school and he has unreadible writing. (I'm 17 - an older pupil - 6th year). He is quite a trouble maker, very lively, in quite a rebellious group and always trying to get the teachers attention. He smokes and often plays with lighters in class. His dad left when he was young and I don't think (from what the boy said) that the dad shows much interest in him, even though the dad moved up to the same town from 300 miles away at the end of last year. He mentioned suicide in his ramblings and even though when I questioned him on it he denied being serious, I think he is quite lost in having a purpose/aim in life. I really want to help him find some aim in life, I was hoping to get him involved with a bit of the school gardening as I'm on the environmental committee but I don't know what else I can do. I don't want him to laugh at me or this to backfire. I think he will probably be leaving school at the end of this year, like me.

Answer 1

First of all: Two thumbs up for being so considerate and thoughtful, wanting to help this boy. Not everybody is like that, and would rather pick on him and tease the boy, instead of wanting to help him. Other people are just to self centred. But not you!
You are a star!

Second: To help him, you need to gain his trust. He has probably been hurt a lot, emotionally, and I think that he has problems in trusting and relying on people. He was probably never thought social skills, and has probably not a lot of friends.

Your first step should be to gain his trust and make him see you as a friend. A friendship needs to be established before you can drag him from place to place, as you also need to find out what his interests are.

Good luck, and again: You are a star!

Answer 2

I dont think I have a good answer, but I am 22 and my best friend is 15 now, Ive known him since he was 12 but he had lots of problems, always gettin into fights, bad grades, not many friends wanting alot of attention. What I did for him was be like a big brother to him, havin fun, teaching him things,its been alot of work, heck Im still helping him today, but he has changed alot for the better. Give him a dream to aim for, find his interests,and ask him what he wants to do in life. Also the gardening thing would be kinda stupid to me, sorry. Im sure you will find something, dont give up.

Answer 3

I think that this is quite a burden for you to take on yourself and I commend you for doing so. Maybe he will be interested in the gardening project as a lot of the time, people who behave like this in a school situation often work better with practical skills. He does seem to have a great deal of issues, however, you can not solve all of his problems, you have your own life too. Try to get him involved in this scheme and if he laughs, he laughs, it's not the end of the world and you can think of a new strategy then. It's nice to see someone caring so much.

Answer 4

I think you hit the spot by saying he has no direction.
He needs friendly guidance.
Point him in the right direction.
Find out what he enjoys doing, what he's naturally good at.
What are his strongest subjects?
Then help him identify a suitable job / career.
Sit him down & tell him he can come to you if wants to talk about anything.
Ask him about his home life. What does he see as being his main problems?
Can you offer any help with those?
Perhaps you could mention your concerns to the head teacher, who could bring in specialist advisors / help?
Don't give up on him, or turn him away - your belief in him could change his life for the better.
Tell him you know he's a good kid inside
& that he needs to stops reacting badly to situations.
Tell him its his choice whether to waste his life or not.
If he has a win- he does good, congratulate him - do everything you can to encourage him, give him little rewards- even if it's only a hearty pat on the back for a job well done.
The gardening idea is excellent cos he'll understand how with nurturing & the right conditions things grow & blossom.
Thank you for caring about him.
Nice to know there are still people like you in this world.

Answer 5

This is a huge problem. something that adults are going to have to help him with. You can talk to his guidance counselor. He shouldn't be bringing lighters to school. Where is his teacher??

Focus on finishing your high school education and continuing. You will go far!

I work in a public school. Kids like him, after given multiple chances in school to straighten themselves out, end up in a residential facility, sadly. If parents can't/won't be involved, it is almost impossible for us to help them.

Answer 6

can you say i love you? find some things positive that he and you like to do .then ask him if he wants to hang out .go do something positive.help him see some good things in his life, do not let him see only the negative in life.GOD allows us to go through tough things to make us stronger. by the way i think becoming involved with the 4H club would do him greatly by helping him find a positive direction . thank you by the way for being such a giving person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD is paying attention to you to he put you in his life for a purpose. can you see what his purpose for you is? come on think

Answer 7

if possible try tofind out what interests him.if it is socially good encourahe him.if he has some habbits which u feel are bad, loadhim with more so that he gets fed up.some religious activity may help him to reform.but age when advanced will teach him a natural lesson.

Answer 8

yer jst be his friend, listen to his problems and make him realise he has good points and he could offer something to the world eg. he may be interested in mechanics or plumbing etc which are things people need! well done for being so caring :-)

Answer 9

You did not mention the mummy, does he live with her? Keep the friendship, talk, go for a drink. If he feels loved, he will not go astray.

Answer 10

listen to him! maybe you could invite him to a concert? be a friend to him, so he'll know he can contact you if he ever needs help. You can't make him succeed, he has to want to! your part in this? make him want to! "Chicks dig doctors", scientists get to...etc. Hey, sometimes, it takes a girl. good luck, and god bless.