how do you say no to a guy who you've dated a couple of times, but still wish to be friend with?

Question

what if the truth is that there are three guys at the same time and I made a choice(right or wrong:$), should I tell him the truth? I hate having to hurt people's self-esteem, I really wish that he wont think it that way. A situation like this is really difficult...

Answer 1

Tell him he is just too much of a man for you to handle, too strong, too masculine, too too too big. Then you have cut your relationship off without insulting him. Maybe to state it another way, your not good enough for him. Antoher approach would be to tell him, confidentually, that you are a lesbian and/or have a std or other medical problem. Or, all of the above.

Answer 2

if you are not being honest to him, you are not honest to yourself.

The person maybe hates you when he coudn't get what he wants, later, once his feeling for you has gone (you will be amazed how quick this will happen to a guy), if he still like your personality, he may ask to remain as friend.

This will be the best result. of course, what I am talking about is that you haven't had intimacy yet.

Depends on this guy, you may choose a way that hurt him minimum, but you definitely need to make it clear.

Try it soon,

Short suffering is better than long suffering, if you have been through this before.

Answer 3

Just tell him the truth, that you only want to be friends and you value the friendship that you got and this is why that you feel that at the time you dont want to risk the friendship you have got with him.

Answer 4

Do you honestly wish to be his friend or are you using that as a 'consolation' to not wanting any more?

If someone gave me the 'just want to be friends' line I would tell them they are presumptious in thinking they could be my friend... Just say no, it can go one of two ways. He will either say that is fine and think that the friendship will lead to other places or he will take the rejection badly and in turn reject your offer of friendship.

Back to my original question, if he's not good enough for boyfriend, what makes him good enough for just friend?

Answer 5

Hmm, been there, it's not easy, is it? i would suggest telling him that it's not a good time for you, that you value his friendship too much to possibly risk losing it. A lot nicer than just saying no, and hey, it's the truth!

Answer 6

You need to be honest and just say how you feel and that you only want to be friends. Say that it was fun but was not meant to be and that his friendship is very important to you and you wouldn't want to lose that.

Just be up front about the situation.

Answer 7

Well, it's not like the two of you are official. He's just a suitor. You shouldn't continue to date him, if you don't like him that way. He might misunderstand your reasons for dating him. So it's ok to be friends with him.

Answer 8

If you boost his manly vision of himself, wont he want to prove his prowess?
If you tell he's wonderful, you like so, so much - wont he just keep trying it on with you?

I would tell him you're into kinky sex or something like that, to put him off you sexually, so you can keep his friendship.

I've tried to put someone off by saying I'm useless in bed - that didn't work cos they wanted to show me how they great they are!

Answer 9

Tell him that you dont think that theres any chemistry between you but you have had a really good time and think that you will be better as friends rather than give him any false hope. good luck

Answer 10

just tell him that you think you would be better asa friends because that way no one will get hurt and you wont have to pull it out any longer because the longer it goes on the more he will be hurt