This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
>
> While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
>
> Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
>
> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
>
> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
>
> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
>
> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
>
> 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>
> 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
>
> 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>
> 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
>
> 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
>
> 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
>
> 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
>
> 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
> 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
>
> And; last, but not least:
>
> 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
>
> Yours
> sincerely,
> Charles Brown
> Store Manager
>
sounds like a fun sorta bloke
2007-02-08 20:04:09 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
as i get tons of joke and funny pic's if you would like to join the circle who receive them from me drop a note to madbomber032000@yahoo.com (the madbonber comes from when i used to paint on walls not blow things up)
2007-02-09 03:38:43 · update #1
And they say the Brits don't have a sense of humor!
2007-02-08 20:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by Cory returns, again! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This was posted by somebody else less than24 hours ago. To avoid repetition you should check out the site first. The joke is funny but second hand. I suspect you have copy and pasted it from somewhere!
2007-02-08 20:14:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This make us people from Banbury sound like complete friut loops.....then again maybe some are, its probably the coffee fumes.
2007-02-08 20:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by M1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have got to appreciate the blokes' sense of humour - especially as he comes from Oxford - obviously an Oxford United Fan!!!!
2007-02-08 20:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by saintee 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Haha it's one of those wish i was a fly on the wall kinda things lalol
2007-02-08 21:35:25 · answer #5 · answered by Rubber * Duckie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT MAN IS A GENIUS GOTTA TRY SOME OF THOSE 10/10
2007-02-08 21:25:58 · answer #6 · answered by Uncle Elroy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lmao 10/10& a star*
2007-02-08 20:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by anna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just love this - thank you for posting it - made a good start to my day!
2007-02-08 20:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by JoJi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ones.!!!
10/10.!!!
2007-02-10 10:38:18 · answer #9 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG that was funny!!!! Wonder what he would have done next if they hadn't have caught him. LOL
2007-02-08 20:21:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋