i know a lot of people my age that want to have kids while they're young (i.e. now), so they and their kids can "grow up together". 2 very good friends of mine are both 19 and both got pregnant and had kids when they were 18. even my bf wants to have a kid now! but i'm not sure about all that lol. but there's been a few older people i've talked to who had their now grown children when they were very young, and they said they're glad they got started young. so is it good to have kids when you're really young, or is better to wait?
2007-02-08 19:51:09 · 18 answers · asked by Nacho Chacho 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Personally, I am almost 20 and sure, I have hormones raging and yelling at me to have a baby, but I know that it would be the stupidest thing I have ever done.
I think it is rather selfish to have a child so your best friends kid can have a playmate.
Also, lets discuss finanical situations here. I am waiting until both me and my boyfriend have very steady, good jobs and we have been together for at least 5 years, and I am done school before even thinking about having a child. It would be financial suicide. If you live on your own, think about how difficult it already is to pay the bills, feed yourself and run a car while working on minimum wage. I wouldn't want to think about how much it would send me in the hole to have a child. Take into consideration diapers, formula, baby wipes, food, toys, teething stuff, if you are in the US than the doctors bills, as well as their shots and clothing since they grow like weeds for the first year.
I think that you should wait personally. At 18 you and your boyfriend may have had a steady relationship, but you probably havn't tried to have a steady relationship while living together in the real world. You may decide it doesn't work for you. If you get pregnant before that time then you won't even have a choice to make.
Talk to your friends and talk about the emotional, physical and financial toll it has taken on them to have a child at 18. Talk about how it made them grow up so fast that they can no longer just go to the movies with their friends, or go shopping, or waste money to go on a road trip (or any trip for that matter).
Enjoy the next few years as time for you and your boyfriend to grow as a couple so you have a sturdy base upon which to raise your children.
Good luck in the future! : )
2007-02-09 03:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is better to wait. There is so much for you to do, such as going to college, having a career, travelling, having fun. Are you even old enough to go out to a bar legally? Having a kid too young will prohibit you from doing any of these things, and most likely doom you to living in poverty and struggling to make ends meet. At your age you have no idea how much it costs to raise a child, or have any idea about the work involved. Why not wait until you have a college education, and have a good job, and it is better for the kids if you are in a stable marriage when you have them.
Also, kids aren't supposed to grow up with their parents. Parents need to be a little more mature, and not be kids themselves. Sure, it may have worked out for some people, but they are not typical. Most people that have kids too young ruin their lives, and regret having kids so young. My suggestion to you would be to start using birth control immediately, and if your boyfriend keeps pushing you to get pregnant, to get rid of him. If you don't, he will try to get you pregnant against your will.
Take this time to experience life and develop into the adult you will become. Try to make something of your life, be more than just a baby incubator.
2007-02-09 01:05:14 · answer #2 · answered by eviltruitt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not good to have kids at such a young age. Ur a kid urself and u haven't lived ur life as yet to just take on responsibility it's not a good thing to happen to your kid either coz they will most definately look upto u for guidance and food and shelter and money and emotional solid bonding how is it possible when u urself are looking for all these factors? Basically when u are truly mature it's the nice time to think about kids and taking up responsibility.
The concept of ur kids growing up with u sounds so cool but it's not easy u grow along with them and in turn u lose ur own freedom and also ur much wanted frivolous days or carefree time when u'd want to hang out u'd be nursing up a milk bottle instead.
Parenting seriously needs serious responsibility taking attitude raising a child is not a game played for fun sake to make a child prosper in his future he/she needs to have a good solid firm background which will entirely depend on u being solid and dependable so that ur chicl can be carefree when they are growing up.
I hope u get my point of view. I say u enjoy ur childhood young days enjoy and do things experience good things for urself so that u can be a better judge and appreciate all the thing later on when u do have a child and see them have all these while they are growing up.
2007-02-08 21:06:12 · answer #3 · answered by kittana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are financially and mentally ready to have a child, then yes young is good, for the sole purpose of being young enough to relate o their lives. I had older parents and they never knew a darn thing about what was going on in my life, it wa s my much older sisters that did! NOW, that in no way condones having a kid you can not support or pay for. You should be totally independent and married to the one you love before you ever think about having a kid with them! Believe me, if you don't , you will end up fighting for child support and struggling financially! Aside from what you can go through, the poor child suffers because they do not have the proper parental figures in their life. Even if you do try to make a go of it for the child, sometimes that is worse, because the tension between mother and father is felt deeply by the child. Just be sure you are in love and it is the right time and it will work out right! You have to trust and believe in God! (No I am not a bible pusher, just believe in a higher power to help guide me)
2007-02-08 20:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by havasufem 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
it is really up to the individual and i have met some great young mothers and some great older mothers, as well as not so good young and old ones! i myself didn't have my baby till i was 34, and personally i am glad i waited... it wasn't really a conscious choice, it just worked out that way. i am happy to be at home with my baby and don't resent the change in lifestyle. i have done my share of partying and travelling etc. and so i don't feel i am missing out on anything, it is just the next phase of my life and i couldn't be happier... just remember that once you have a baby your life is seriously changed and quite restricted, even with a good support network of family and friends, the baby is your responsibility, you can't change your mind once they are here. so, if you do get to choose, think about if you can handle that, or if you will resent the fact that you are at home etc. with a baby to care for.
2007-02-08 20:32:59 · answer #5 · answered by uenuku 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's up to each indivdual. It all depends on the maturity level and stability of the person in question. You have to look at where you are in life and what you still have left to obtain. Having children changes EVERYTHING. I know you hear that all the time but, it really is true. Once you have children, it's not all about your needs and wants anymore. I would suggest making sure you have college out of the way and are stable first. I had my first child at 24... and I'm getting ready to have my second one in about a month at age 26... and I have to say I'm glad that I waited.
2007-02-08 19:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by legalstudent25 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to have a steady income and you should have a steady relationship with the father.....I'd say whait until you're married, but now days that can end in divorice anyway. You need to make sure you're mature enough to handle late nights up feeding....late nights up when the kids are sick......temper tantrums......not being able to go out with your friends with out prior planning for a babysitter and sometimes having to stay home because you don't have a baby sitter...there are lots of things to consider.
2007-02-09 00:56:31 · answer #7 · answered by kittynala 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion 18 or 19 isnt really young. Im 22 and having my first baby and although I would have preferred to have a baby later I am ready for the job. Im am physically, financially, and almost mentally ready. So I think the age part depends on the person.
2007-02-08 20:20:44 · answer #8 · answered by Oops! 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I started later in life after we had our home a good job and still i think it is best to have them earlier. You can never be ready for all the "time" required of loving, teaching, ext. the children need. When your older you think of all the bad things that can happen when your younger you don't seem to dwell on those kinds of things and let them enjoy life at a better rate.
2007-02-09 03:36:02 · answer #9 · answered by Lily P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had kids at young (18) and old (28) and both have their good and bad points, but you are more financially secure when your older and more stable emotoinally so i'd probably opt at the latter, although my 11yr old and I have a lot of fun, I was more prepared to have a baby when I was older.
2007-02-08 20:33:30 · answer #10 · answered by Ricki V 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋