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Hey everyone, I need some advise. I have a co-worker at work that I like a lot all of a sudden. He's not my usual type, he's very short and skinny (5'5 ft 135 lbs) and I'm 5'8 175 lbs. I usually like men bigger and taller then me but it is something about his soft spokenness that I'm drawn too. He was one of my coolest buddies at work before I started liking him. I didn't like him at all at first but over these last 3 months, I find myself so attracted to him. We have been flirting for a while but I play the shy role and just laugh off his little comments. Now that I realize that I like him, I told another co-worker to tell him I like him and she did. He was very suprised and almost didn't believe her at first. He said that he likes me a lot and he would never want to do anything to hurt me but he is not the settle down type. I can't understand what he means by that since we never talked about relationships. Maybe he is just blowing me off nicely but why flirt so much then?

2007-02-08 18:41:23 · 21 answers · asked by Reformed wild thang 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

This situation happened just a few hours ago and ever since, I have been feeling very weird around him. I want to have sex with him so bad since I am horney but at the same time, I know myself and I can't have sex without catching emotional feelings. My female co-worker saw me ducking him at work and told me not to and to act normal which i have been trying to but its hard since he knows I like him but yet still openly flirts with me. Since he says he is not the settle down type, I don't know if thats because of me or because of him. My insecurities keep telling me that if I looked like Beyonce he would be the settle down type but at the same time, I look better then him so it can't be that he is not attracted to me. Why would a man say he is not the settling down type? Does this mean he plans to be alone forever or does this mean he's just not that into me? Strangly enough, there is another guy at work that likes me and wants to date me but I can't get with him,his teeth are bad

2007-02-08 18:48:58 · update #1

Nah kid, I know I can't have sex with feelings. Even my female co-worker who barely knows me said that If we lay down, someone is comming up with feelings and I know that someone is me. I'm not looking to get married tomorrow and I didn't say anything about settling down so I don't know where the heck he came up with the "I'm not the settle down type" from. I feel kind of dumb since I'm a gorgeous girl and I could have just about any other man at work except for the married ones but I want him. I don't mind the at work thing since I 've done it before as long as its on the low, It can't be the that I'm heavier then him because I seen him with a fat girl that was like 5'2 250.

2007-02-08 19:05:54 · update #2

I apprieciat all of your responses and the common answer is that I should fall back. I just feel bad that "K" likes me so much but "V" doesn't. I don't mind the at work thing because its really the only place I meet new people at but I will go to work tommorrow and act like he doesn't exist.

2007-02-08 19:11:34 · update #3

I just thought about it, if I axt like he doesnt exist, that will make him think I'm mad at him and I am a little hurt but I don't want to show it. I'm always so joky with him and he is one of my best friends at work so maybe I should just act normal.

2007-02-08 19:14:37 · update #4

21 answers

The game is afoot!

I believe that your coworker does not find you to be his type, as, to be quite honest, you are a large woman, and, while you would seem small compared with an average man, this is a tiny man you are talking about, and he may feel uncomfortable dating somebody quite taller than he is.

I believe that he is trying not to hurt your feelings by continuing to flirt with you and by saying he is not interested in settling down.

2007-02-08 18:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Sherlock H 2 · 1 0

Well first of all Work flirting is just a past time. Not that anything comes from that. Second the fact that you crossed the line by letting him know you really like him scared him off and about the settling part that's just a nice way to say No And with his flirting that is a guy thing and its not that your so attracted to him its just that your missing something in your relationships that you think you might have with this guy but take at look at him on Monday and pretend he talks like Micky Mouse and see how you feel then. And if you still like him Then go get him Good Luck Remember (Micky Mouse voice.)

2007-02-08 18:58:05 · answer #2 · answered by lsal_lizzys 2 · 0 0

Guys just do that sometimes: they send out signals saying that they like you, then when confronted with it, they get scared and run away.

There are 2 cases that I know of that happening. In the first case, he didn't realize what he was doing, got the girl all worked up and now they don't even talk anymore.

The other case is when she asked him how he felt about her, even when everyone knew that he liked her, and he said that he didn't like her. They decided to be friends, then they got more serious and eventually got married.

Things can go one way or another. If he's hurting you by flirting you should tell him how you feel so he'll stop. It's not fair to act like you want to be with someone when you don't.

You'll have to judge for yourself if he's real or fake.

2007-02-08 18:48:31 · answer #3 · answered by ♥☺ bratiskim∞! ☺♥ 6 · 0 0

He's letting you know that he likes you but he does not want a seroius relationship. That may or may not mean that he just wants sex. He could just be flirting to pass the time. Co-worker relationships are usually a bad idea. They seldom work, and when the relationship goes bad you still have to see and deal with the person (and their friends) at work. I don't know what it is about work, but you often will find yourself attracted to someone who outside of work you wouldn't even give a second look. It has something to do with group survival instincts that we have inherited from our ancestors. It's a primative evolutionary trait that is best to control. Otherwise you are going to find yourself in a relationship with a person you are not really compatable with.

2007-02-08 19:00:06 · answer #4 · answered by godeep 3 · 0 0

Are you prepared and willing to deal with the possible repurcussions and extra stress of a possible co-working relationship we all know how MOST of those turn out the way I see it though is if you all are truely meant to be then it will happen.gl2u little lovebirds.p.s. no fondling at work.lol .ps. It really amazes me how people can judge other people on there physical appearances and not whats on the inside have you ever wondered how your gonna look in say 20 30 years ? maybe this other guy is judging you by how you look just like your judging this other guy? coincidence or Karma?

2007-02-08 18:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by believe me 3 · 0 0

Sweethear, Your story is so sweet. I mean you and him are so sweet and it sounds to me like very compatible.

However, it's sad that he said that. I think he just put in a nice way of saying so. I think he's not ready to get into any relationship at this moment. Maybe he just enjoys flirting and doesn't wanna commit yet.

So, i guess.. you gotta move on. You've done your part. The rest is up to him whether he will appreciate you.

Good luck

EDIT:
Okay, since you like him and wanna have sex with him, guess you don't need to think too much. Just do what you want. Just flirt with him and have sex. A non-committed relationship. Its all fun!

2007-02-08 18:49:07 · answer #6 · answered by #1 Girl -She's Bittersweet- 6 · 1 0

Some men flirt just to get a reaction & boost their egos.
Or some flirt hoping you will put out and not ask for a relationship.

If you want a relationship....then do not go after someone who says "I don't want to settle down." He just wants sex or an ego boost.

2007-02-08 18:46:34 · answer #7 · answered by Sunshine Queen 4 · 3 0

Dating a co-worker is tough business because it can perform your performance professionally. Just treat him as you would anyone else and remember that if you tread over the friendship line its awkward. Be true to your preference and dont settle for less.

2007-02-08 18:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i'm 5'10" tall, regular built @ 155 lbs. no offense but i figure it out that @ my hieght if i gain your weight i could be a little chobby if not obese.
he's skinny and short: you're 175 lbs @ 5'8".. tsk! tsk!
in love, nothing is impossible but take the possible might be the best move..

or.. lost some wieght, he will be dying to have you when you reaches 130 lbs.. believe me!!! work out now, never too late..

2007-02-08 19:18:15 · answer #9 · answered by vincent van go 2 · 1 0

He might be a bit scared that if things went anywhere that you'd become clingy and expect a relationship from him.

Just talk to him oneday and tell him that you don't want anything complicated, you just want to **** him. His interest will soon turn into more action and less flirtation.

2007-02-08 18:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by Aneska G 2 · 0 0

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